


The Lives and Losses of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

by Realismreading



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, First War with Voldemort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Burn, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:00:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 56,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27675050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Realismreading/pseuds/Realismreading
Summary: Ten years of friendship was destroyed on Halloween night of 1981, but how did four boys who once considered each other brothers end up the way they did?The Marauders lives changed dramatically between 1971 and 1998. Here’s what the history books never showed~Canon compliant for the most part, creative liberties taken
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald/Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 2





	1. 1971: Emerald Snakes and Scarlet Lions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus had a life ahead of him. Not an easy one, but a good one, and this was the start of it.

March 10th 1971 - the Lupin residence - 10 miles outside Port Talbot, Wales 

Remus could hear his parents talking downstairs in the kitchen.

He'd had incredibly sensitive hearing ever since That Night, and they'd had to move to this house with no neighbours or friends to spend time with ... all because of the one night that his parents never spoke about unless they had to. Sometimes they forgot that he could hear them.

He was supposed to be asleep, but it was his eleventh birthday, and his parents had been acting strange ever since they'd woken up.

Remus knew that they were discussing how he should've had something else today. A letter. A very specific letter that every magical eleven-year-old got.

The knowledge that they were being so strange about the letter had largely prevented him from enjoying the day as much as he did usually. He'd suspected for a while that he wouldn't get it, Lyall had explained it all before, but having gone all day without seeing so much as a trace of the parchment had upset Remus more than he thought it would. 

"Lyall, who is it from?" Hope asked. 

"Minerva," Lyall said absently. 

"McGonnagall? One of your old teachers?" There was a brief silence and Remus could only assume that his father had nodded. "What is she contacting Remus for? Do you think-"

"No." Lyall interrupted. "No, it can't be that. Hogwarts has never had someone like Remus attend." 

_Hogwarts_.

Remus knew about Hogwarts. Of course, he did. He'd always wanted to go. He was _supposed_ to have had his acceptance letter by now. 

He _did_ have magic, after all. Sometimes it revealed itself by setting the curtains on fire when he got excited or making glasses smash in the kitchen when he got upset.

Lyall had always remarked how strong his magic seemed to be for someone so young, but he had always gently reminded Remus of the unlikelihood of him ever being officially taught magic at school. 

"So what do we do? We can't hide it from him." Hope asked. 

"We don't even know what it says. What if its a rejection letter?"

"But what if it isn't?! You're friends with the Headmaster, aren't you? Surely he would make an exception for Remus. He's as safe as he can be, we have a strict routine. I don't want him to miss out because of his condition. He didn't ask for it, he was practically still a baby when it happened." 

Lyall sighed. "I know, Hope, I know." 

Remus panicked as he heard footsteps coming up the stairs, closing his eyes and pretending to be asleep. He heard the door to his room creaking as it opened, the soft yellow glow from the kitchen light filtering through into the room. Remus made a conscious effort to slow his breathing, making them deeper and more drawn out. 

"Remus, we know you're not really asleep." Hope chuckled softly. Remus opened his eyes and sat up, scowling. 

"How do you always know?" He asked. Hope just smiled from the doorway to his room. Lyall was stood at her shoulder, posture stiff and holding a lot of tension. He was worried. 

"Mother's intuition," Hope said, tapping the side of her nose. "We have something to tell you." 

"You've had a letter from a teacher at Hogwarts," Remus said. His parents walked into his room, turning on the light as they did so. Remus squinted at the sudden brightness and drew his legs up so that his parents could sit at the foot of his bed. 

"That hearing of yours gets stronger every day," Lyall remarked fondly, brushing some of Remus' hair from his eyes. It always grew faster than Hope could cut. "But yes, we _have_ had a letter. I don't want you to get your hopes up. Exceptions may have been made for you because of my friendship with Professor Dumbledore, but they also may not have done. It's addressed to you, so you should open it." 

Lyall handed an envelope to Remus, who stared down at it for a few seconds, debating on whether or not he truly wanted to know.

What if it _was_ a rejection letter filled with pitying words and fake sympathy? Remus desperately to go to a school with other people who could do magic. He wanted his own wand, to get to experience everything that all the other witches and wizards got to. Why _should_ he be any different?

Remus flipped the letter over, his shaking hands fumbling gently with the seal for a moment before he managed to rip it and pull the letter out. He unfolded it quickly, eyes scanning over the words desperately. 

When he saw them, processed them properly, his heart stopped. 

"What does it say?" Hope asked. Remus locked eyes with her for a brief smile before he read it out.

 _"_ _Dear Mr Lupin,  
_  
 _We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.  
_  
 _Term begins on the 1st of September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July._ _Yours sincerely,_  
  
 _Minerva McGonagall_  
  
 _Deputy Headmistress._

_P.S, Please inform your parents that provisions have been made to accommodate your condition. Many of us knew your father and have heard promising things about your developing magic. The Hogwarts staff look forward to finally meeting you."_

"You're going to Hogwarts?" Lyall asked. Remus nodded, handing him the letter so that he could read it for himself. Lyall scanned over it multiple times before he finally looking up again. He broke out into a grin and put the letter to one side, pulling Remus into a hug. "You're making history, Remus! I'm so proud of you!"

Lyall held an arm out for Hope and together, the Lupin family spent the majority of the night wrapped up together, talking about what the future could now hold for Remus.

~ 

September 1st 1971 - Diagon Alley 

"Right, are you ready to get your wand?" Lyall asked. Remus nodded, feeling the excitement in every fibre of him. 

Hope and Lyall were both with him today, and the look of wonder on Hope's face almost matched Remus' childlike glee. Lyall led them over to a shop, the words _'Ollivander's: Makers of fine wands since 382 B.C'_ written across the wooden sign above the door. His parents had a tight hold on both of his shoulders, desperate to keep their eyes on him at all times. 

A bell made a soft noise as they entered the shop, and Remus immediately felt at home, noticing a slight buzzing under his skin that felt oddly comforting. 

"I'll be with you in one moment," An elderly gentleman called from the front desk.

He was speaking to a family of four, in finely tailored clothes, the adults with sharp features and all four of them with matching inky black curls. The family were barely paid them so much as a slight turn of the head as they acknowledged the noise. 

The taller of the children, the one clearly getting his first wand, still had some evidence of baby fat in his cheeks, and his hair was the curliest out of his family, the fringe long and almost in his eyes. He was tall, and his posture was that of someone who had clearly been raised in an elegant home. Remus couldn't see all of the boy's face, just part of it as he looked partially over his shoulder at the noise of the bell. 

The younger boy was looking around nervously, watching his older brother with fascination. He remained tightly to his mother's side, seemingly almost fearful to leave it. 

The elderly man, presumably called Ollivander if the shop sign was anything to go by, handed the eldest boy a slim box. The boy took it gingerly, placed it on the desk, opened it and retrieved the wand. Immediately, a gust of wind swept around the room, rattling the boxes in the shelves behind the desk, making the lights flicker and disturbing the boy's hair.

It calmed after a few moments and Ollivander smiled. 

"Very impressive, young Mr Black. 10¾", Ebony, dragon heartstring. Good for combative magic and Transfiguration, designed for the non-conformists and those who dare to be true to themselves, for people who are not easily swayed from their purpose and who hold onto their beliefs tightly. Your core tells me that you should be able to produce the most flamboyant spells powerfully with enough practice. You should be very proud of this wand. Take good care of it." 

_Black_. Remus knew that last name. He had heard his father mention the Black family before, but it always put him in a sour mood, so Remus hadn't pushed. Lyall was a scary man when he was angry, and the last thing Remus wanted was to make his father angry.

From what he knew, the Blacks were a very old and powerful family, and very set in their ways.

Remus decided right then and there that he would be cautious around this boy if they would be going to school together. 

The boy who had just been given his wand placed it back in its box, closed the lid and dutifully gave it to his mother as she put a handful of coins in front of Ollivander. As the family turned to leave, the parents' faces looked the Lupins up and down like they were nothing more than garbage. 

"Lupin." The man said. 

"Orion," Lyall replied. There was a moment of silence before the man - _Orion -_ looked at Hope. 

"This must be your wife." He said. 

"Hope Lupin." She said. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr and Mrs Black. My husband has told me about you and your family on multiple occasions. It's nice to finally put some faces to the names." Orion and his wife gave her tight-lipped smiles.

"I wasn't aware you had a son, Lyall," The woman said, finally noticing Remus. 

Remus stuck out his hand to her. He knew that his father had to do a lot of that at work and that it was a polite thing that adults did. "My name is Remus." He said. She pursed her lips and hesitantly shook his hand for all of a second before pulling her hand away. 

"Remus is starting at Hogwarts this year. Are either of your boys?" Lyall asked, looking at the eldest son. 

"Yes, my eldest is," Orion said. He frowned at the eldest, who had tilted his head and was looking at Remus curiously. "Stand up straight, Sirius!" Sirius clenched his jaw slightly but did as his father asked and smiled brightly at Lyall. "And this is Regulus. He'll be starting school next year." Orion added, gesturing to the smaller boy.

Regulus shied away from the gazes of those around him, shrinking behind his mother's dress. 

"Well ... good luck, Sirius. I suppose I'll see you around the Ministry sometime soon, Orion?" Lyall said. Orion gave him a terse nod. 

"I suppose I will." He replied. Lyall put his hands on both Remus and Hope's backs, gently leading them to one side so that the Blacks could get to the door. Remus made eye contact with Sirius as the families stepped around each other. 

"See you at school," Sirius whispered, smiling kindly. 

Remus smiled back and gave him a small wave. 

"Come on, Remus, let's get your wand," Lyall said, guiding him over to the front desk.

~

September 1st 1971 - Ollivander's 

It took fifteen minutes for Remus to finally attract a wand that chose him. The buzzing in his fingertips that he'd felt when he walked into the shop intensified and, as it had with Sirius, a sudden draught of wind picked up. Remus laughed, feeling it tousle his hair and ruffle his clothes. His father was looking at him with unfiltered pride. 

When it settled, Ollivander was beaming. 

"10¼", Cypress wood, unicorn hair core." He observed. "Cypress reserves itself for the most selfless witches and wizards, those who would lay down their lives for others and are unafraid to confront the shadows that lurk in everyone. The find their soulmates in the brave and bold. Your core makes your wand even stronger. It's the hardest to be convinced towards the Dark Arts and extremely loyal to its first owner. It's a very impressive and strong wand. I expect to hear great things about you. Good luck!" 

"Thank you!" Remus gasped, still trying to gain his breath back. His father handed some money over to Ollivander. 

They said their goodbyes and left the shop. Remus loathed putting his wand back in its box. He loved the feeling of it in his hand, feeling completely at ease and already sensing that it was made to be there. But deep down, he knew it would be easy to misplace in the rush to the train. It would have to remain tucked away for now.

Lyall Apparated them to one of the side streets a few minutes walk from Kings Cross, a trip that made his stomach turn and his vision swim. His parents hurried him along to the station, loaded Remus' trunk onto a trolley and hurried towards the platform. 

"We'll do it with you, Remus. Don't be scared." Lyall encouraged, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You ready?" 

Remus nodded and faced the pillar that housed the entrance to Platform 9 and ¾. Lyall counted down from three and then they were running towards the pillar, and Remus had only a moment to feel the anxiety of possibly hitting a brick wall before they emerged on the other side, the sound of students and their parents wandering around, talking and getting ready for the departure. 

Remus was amazed at it all, unable to help himself from gaping, and Lyall laughed fondly at his wonder, taking ahold of his trolley and leaving it in a queue so it could be loaded into the Express. He put an arm around Remus' shoulders, linked his free hand with Hope's and gently led them further down the platform. 

"Are you excited, Remus?" Hope asked. Remus nodded, his eyes moving rapidly as they struggled to take in everything around him. There were so many people. He wondered how many would be in his dormitory, in his House, in his year-group, in the entire school. It felt like thousands from the cramped feeling of the platform. 

"Dad, what house were you in?" Remus asked curiously. 

"Ravenclaw," Lyall replied proudly. "I still have my old scarf and Prefect badge. The Lupins come from a long line of Ravenclaws." 

"He still polishes the badge." Hope laughed.

Remus grinned up at his father. He'd had so many in-depth conversations about Hogwarts with his father since he had received his acceptance letter.

His father was the perfect Ravenclaw. He was charming and intelligent, with a wicked sense of humour and a sharp mind that was always prepared with a witty comeback. He was a problem solver and always willing to lend a hand. 

Remus hoped he would be in the same house as Lyall. He was so desperate to make both of his parents proud. The thought that he _wouldn't_ be a Ravenclaw made him nervous. If all of his father's family had been in the same house, wouldn't he be expected to carry it on? What if he couldn't live up to the expectations?

Life would always be hard with his condition, he knew that, but he could fashion himself into someone better at Hogwarts. He could prove everyone wrong. But was he really as much like his father as he hoped? Was he good enough? 

"Remus," Lyall started, stopping and putting his hands on his son's shoulders. "I don't want you to worry about anything. I want you to focus on making friends and enjoying yourself. School flies by so fast, and I want you to make the most of it, okay?" 

Remus nodded firmly. "Dad ... do I have to be a Ravenclaw like you? What if I get something else? Does it ... does it matter? Does it affect anything?" 

Lyall frowned. "No," He said. "It's ... it's good to have pride in your house, whatever it is. And you should never feel like you have to be like me. Merlin knows I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. You can be immensely wise and be a Hufflepuff, you can be cunning and be a Gryffindor. You can be a little like _every_ house. It's about what you value most in yourself and other people that counts. Whatever happens, you're my boy, and you'll do me proud no matter what."

Remus threw his arms around his father and clung tightly. He would _have_ to make friends to combat the loneliness of being without his parents. He'd not been around other people his own age before, and all he knew was his family's two-story house in the countryside, just the right distance outside the nearest port town that they could get essentials without them also hearing Remus' agony every month. 

The train whistle sounded and Remus let go of his dad to cover his ears, protecting them against the sharp cry.

When it finished, he hugged his mother, and she begged him to write often, to keep himself safe before letting go and ushering him onto the train. He waved at them from the window on the door until they were out of sight, and then took a deep breath, deciding to brave the search for an empty seat. He had his uniform in the bag from Madame Malkins and gripped it tightly as he walked along one of the corridors, searching for a carriage. 

"Hey! Hey, you!" Remus heard someone calling. He turned slightly, looking over one shoulder. Someone's head was poking out of a compartment door he'd just passed. It was the boy from Ollivanders.

Sirius. The Black boy. 

"M-me?" Remus asked softly, pointing to his chest. Sirius nodded. 

"Of course I mean you, silly! Come on, we've got space in here!" Remus was shocked for a moment, but he hurried back and slipped into the compartment. 

There were three boys inside, including Sirius. One with dark messy hair and circular glasses that kept sliding down his nose, and another with blonde hair that looked almost bleached and big blue eyes that were currently focused on the box of Every Flavour Beans in his hands. They both looked up when they saw Remus enter and smiled at him. 

"Lads, this is Remus. I met him in Ollivanders." Sirius said. He looked at Remus and gestured wildly with his hand at the two boys sat down. "Remus, meet James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. James is the one with glasses and Peter's the one stuffing his face with sweets."

"Isn't there going to be a feast when we get there?" Remus asked Peter. 

"Yeah, I just didn't want these to get nicked. Apparently, Filch steals from students."

"Filch?" Remus frowned. 

"The caretaker." Peter shrugged as if were obvious. "He's a bloody nightmare. My older sister Emily left Hogwarts three years ago, and she said that Filch is the worst thing about the castle."

Sirius scoffed and took a seat, beckoning Remus over. Remus sat near the door, putting his robes beside him and pulling his legs up until he was sat crossed-legged. 

"Please, we all know that my cousins are the worst things about the castle," Sirius said disdainfully. "Bella's a seventh year, Andy's in sixth and Cissa is in fifth. I only like Andy, but the other two are terrors. Cissa got made a Prefect this year, her parents are so proud. All three are in Slytherin and Bella and Cissa expect me to be as well." 

"Do you think you will be?" Remus asked. Sirius faked gagging and pulled a disgusted face. 

"I hope not. If I am, I'll drop out of school and go on the run." He said. Remus' lips quirked up. The Blacks were always Slytherins, everyone knew that. "I hope I'm a Gryffindor. My parents will go nuts. Any other house, they would get used to eventually, but never Gryffindor." 

"What house do you think you'll be in, James?" Peter asked. 

"Gryffindor, for sure," James said with glee. "You?"

"I don't know," Peter said uncertainly. "Maybe Hufflepuff?" 

James pondered for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, I could see that. What about you, Remus?" 

"I'm hoping for Ravenclaw. All of my dad's family were in that house. I'm an only child and my parents don't want any more kids, so it kinda falls on me, I suppose. My dad said I don't _have_ to be one, but I think he's hoping I am. I don't want to let him down." Remus shrugged.

"You don't have to be what your parents want you to be," Sirius said firmly. "I'll bet you're a Gryffindor. I think you're probably a lot braver than you realise. You're a true Gryffindor, through and through. I don't know _how_ I know, but I do." 

Remus looked at him and almost shrunk away from the intense look in Sirius' eyes, which Remus could now tell were the colour of silver. Dangerous for someone with Remus' condition if not handled with care, capable of burning and scarring.

But handled right, with the proper protections, it was as harmless as breathing. 

Remus made another decision then. While Sirius seemed different from his family at this moment, he could still be dangerous, and Remus would keep him at arm's length. It would be hard for the other boy to break free of years of Black teachings, if he even managed to escape being a Slytherin. 

Sirius Black could never be allowed to be close to Remus, could never be trusted completely. Maybe they could be friends in time, but for now ... it was safer to keep himself distanced from Black as much as possible. 

~

Years later, when he was older and wiser and in his final year of Hogwarts, unknowing of what was to come, Remus would smile fondly at the memory, feeling warm and pleasantly surprised as he remembered their first proper introduction away from the oppression of Sirius' family. 

~

September 1st 1971 - The Great Hall 

Remus stuffed his hands inside his pockets to stop them shaking as he walked into the Great Hall with the rest of the students in his year. There was a redhead stood in front of him chatting away excitedly to a boy with hair darker than Sirius'. They seemed to already know each other and didn't seem nervous at all. 

"I'll be in Slytherin, I know it." The boy said. 

"Where do you think I'll end up, Sev?" The girl asked. 

"I don't know, Lily. The Hat knows best, but I think we'll be together."

"Even if we're not, though, we'll still be best friends, won't we?" Lily replied. 

"Of course!" The boy chuckled. "You'll _always_ be my dearest friend, Lily. You know that." 

Remus couldn't help but smile slightly. At least _some_ people were looking past house divisions already.

According to Sirius, Gryffindor and Slytherin despised each other. There were some Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Slytherins that got along well, and most people got along with the Gryffindors. 

But everything was always hateful between those represented by emerald snakes; and those by scarlet lions.

As the witch who had introduced herself as Professor McGonnagall unrolled the parchment paper with all of their names on, Remus was keenly aware of James, Peter and Sirius' presence beside him. They were all nervous. The Hat would call them all in alphabetical order, meaning that Sirius would be there before them. They would all have to wait, with their numbers dwindling rapidly each minute that passed. 

This would possibly be the last time they would all stand together, and Remus almost felt sad. He wanted to be in the same house as his new friends, not just so that he wouldn't be lonely, but because the four of them already seemed to be too close to be separated now.

He didn't want Sirius to be like his cousins, he wanted Peter to have people to bring him out of his shell, for James to have people to call his brothers. Like Remus, he was an only child, and it was nice for him to have a sense of camaraderie with someone. 

Remus wanted them to have one another. To make friends at the beginning of their lives at Hogwarts that would last the rest of their lives. It was perhaps a naive and childish thing to think, but for someone who had not had any friends growing up, it was everything Remus had ever wanted. 

McGonnagall began reading through names, and Remus stiffened slightly as she called, "Black, Sirius!" 

There was a sense of unease settling through the room. Everyone knew the Blacks, and everyone knew what was coming. To have four Blacks at Hogwarts at once was clearly a new kind of trouble that the castle seemed to be preparing itself for. 

Sirius gave his friends his bravest smile. "See you on the other side, lads." He said before swaggering through the part in the group of first years.

He settled on the stool on the dais, and the wait for the answer began. Unease was seeping through every crack in the stones as time ticked by. Almost five minutes came and went before the Hat took a breath, everyone tensing as they prepared for another snake.

" _GRYFFINDOR!_ " It yelled. The Hall erupted into chaos and Sirius grinned madly, jumping off the stool as soon as the Hat was off his head, hurrying down the steps. 

"You're looking at history in the making, lads. See you at the Gryffindor table." He said as he passed them. Older Gryffindors swarmed him, shaking his hand and clapping him on the shoulder, pointing and laughing at the Slytherins as they stared and glowered. 

McGonnagall slowly managed to regain control of the room and continued with the ceremony.

Remus only tuned in to the names that he recognised. 

"Evans, Lily!" The redhead girl in front of him was sat on the stool all of thirty seconds before she was Sorted into Gryffindor. The boy she had called 'Sev' watched her forlornly as she passed him down to the Gryffindor table. He looked distraught to see her race off to a table where he would likely be forced into a rivalry with her. If he really _was_ a Slytherin, of course. He might get lucky and be Sorted somewhere else. 

Before Remus knew it, he was hearing his own name. 

"Lupin, Remus!" Remus gently moved through the other first years and sat down, feeling immediately self-conscious. 

_Hmmmmm, a_ _Lupin_ , a voice said.

Remus jumped slightly and tried not to do anything that would embarrass himself. 

_Good family. Lots of Ravenclaws. Very smart, like your father. Good wand, lots of potential and a knack for magic already._

_Shame about the furry little problem. Still, I don't know of many four-year-olds bitten by Fenrir Greyback that survive past the first full moon. No werewolf has attended Hogwarts either. There's something special about you._

_You have a life ahead of you, Remus. Not an easy one, but a_ good _one. You're already more loyal to the boys you've just met than most are to people they've known their entire lives, and a braver eleven-year-old than I've seen for many years. Keep that bravery and that loyalty, and it'll serve you well._

" _GRYFFINDOR!_ " The Hat yelled, and Remus staggered down the steps as soon as McGonnagall lifted it.

 _Fenrir Greyback_. Remus didn't recognise the name.

He had never known the name of who had bitten him. Hearing it now almost sent him into a tailspin, and he forced himself to focus on the steps in front of him instead of the name to put to the face that still haunted his nightmares of That Night.

He smiled at James and Peter as they rushed to congratulate him, ruffling his hair, Remus laughing at them and ducking towards the Gryffindor table. Sirius was standing on the bench, grinning and cheering like a madman, eyes bright as he watched Remus approach. He stepped down and slung an arm around Remus' shoulders. He'd already cleared enough space for James, Peter and Remus. 

"Told you you'd be Gryffindor!" He shouted over the noise. Remus felt lightheaded, and his cheeks hurt from smiling as he sat beside Sirius. 

The rest of the Sorting Ceremony moved by fast, and by the end of it, James and Peter were sat with Remus and Sirius, the four of them already feeling better now they were together. 

"Welcome to all new and returning students!" An elderly man called from the front. "For those of you that do not know, my name is Professor Dumbledore, your headmaster. I'm very pleased to welcome you all back to school. Now, first years, the Prefects will show you up to your common rooms once the feast is over. This is the start of a new chapter for you all, with the beginnings of new friendships and camaraderie amongst your housemates. With that said, I'm sure you're all very hungry, so I won't keep you from your first feast. Good luck to you all!" 

And just like that, food appeared on every table, and Remus gaped at it. He'd never seen so much food in his life. It stretched along the table, piled high on the plates. 

"Don't just stare, Remus!" Peter laughed. "Eat something, you look a little peaky." 

"And don't scrimp either, it refills itself," James added. 

"We're going to need the energy if we're going exploring the castle every night," Sirius said. "I've heard there are thousands of passageways, and I fully intend to find them all with you three." 

Remus began filling his plate, trying to process everything that was happening. 

How was it that he'd already found three boys that took his wellbeing into account so soon? How was it that they already wanted to spend as much time with him as they possibly could? Remus had always thought of himself as too awkward and unsure around people his own age, and yet these three took it in stride and wanted him along for the ride anyway. 

He was determined to make it last as long as he could. 

~

September 1st 1971 - Gryffindor Tower

Remus was delighted when he found out that he would share a dormitory with Peter, James and Sirius.

His luck was beginning to turn with each second he spent in the castle, and Remus made sure he didn't take for granted the minutes the four of them shared as they stayed up almost all night, talking about the things they were most excited to do now that they were finally at school.

Peter had fallen asleep first, and then Remus, and Sirius and James must've done so after him, because he didn't remember ever hearing them say goodnight, only hearing the sounds of their voices as they chattered away excitedly. 

For the first time, Remus fell asleep feeling like maybe things would not be so bad for him after all. 

_You have a life ahead of you, Remus. Not an easy one, but a_ good _one,_ the Sorting Hat had said. 

This was the start of that life, he was sure of it.


	2. 1971 - A New Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't want or need them to see his scars. They would only ask questions that Remus wouldn't be able to answer. He hated the idea of having to ruin his first friendships with lies already. 
> 
> The sound of his mother begging him to stay safe on Platform 9 and 3/4 was still ringing in his ears, and he knew that he would not be safe if anyone found out; if he couldn't learn to lie convincingly.

September 2nd 1971 - Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Remus woke to the feeling of being shaken. He yawned and tried to push it the hands on his shoulders, shifting onto his other side and burrowing further into his duvet. 

"Psst! Remus! Get up!" Someone said, grabbing his shoulder again and shaking it violently. Remus swatted at the hand, yawning, and opened his eyes blearily. _So much for a lie in_. When his eyes focused, he sat up and saw James, Sirius and Peter looking at him with glee, and then remembered. 

_I'm not at home. I'm at Hogwarts. It's real. I didn't make it up!_

He tried not to let the realisation that this hadn't all been a cruel dream cross his face, and instead looked at his dormmates in confusion.

"What?" He asked groggily. 

"Get up! We'll be late for breakfast!" Peter said excitedly.

He was practically buzzing with excitement, almost bouncing on his knees as he sat at the foot of Remus' bed. Remus slept curled up in a ball, and he was small for his age, leaving Peter plenty of room to sit on. Sirius and James were kneeling beside Remus, their grins matching as they almost split the boys' faces open. 

"We didn't want to go without you!" James added. "There's only one first day at Hogwarts, and we're doing it together!" 

That was enough to make Remus grin and bolt up, almost knocking all three of the others off the bed in the process. 

His dormmates moved too, the room turning into a frenzy as all three of them ran around the dormitory, fighting to use the bathroom and wriggling into their clothes. Remus grabbed his uniform and took his opportunity to snag the empty bathroom so he could get changed away from the others.

He didn't want or need them to see his scars. They would only ask questions that Remus wouldn't be able to answer. 

He hated the idea of having to ruin his first friendships with lies already. The sound of his mother begging him to stay safe on Platform 9 and 3/4 was still ringing in his ears, and he knew that he would not be safe if anyone found out; if he couldn't learn to lie convincingly.

He'd have to think hard of some excuse or another for the full moons to come.

There would be a lot of them while he was at Hogwarts, and he would have to get creative about them, but with any luck, the others would take his word in stride and trust it. 

He locked the door behind him, fumbling with his clothes as quickly as he could. He caught a glance at himself in the mirror and couldn't help but pull his collar to one side, a few buttons still left to be done up, eyes roaming over the scarred tissue of his first injury.

The bite that had caused all this mess.

It was slightly discoloured, paler than the rest of his skin, and thick and mangled to the touch. 

"Oi, Remus, are you in there?" Sirius asked, knocking on the door. 

"Yeah!" Remus called. 

"Hurry up, mate, I need the loo." 

"Sorry, be out in a sec," Remus replied, doing up his last few buttons and left without tying his tie. Sirius thanked him and they swapped places.

There was an audible sigh of relief as Sirius used the toilet, and he returned a few minutes later as Remus finished with doing up the laces on his shoes. A sense of pride settled in his bones as he smoothed his hands down over his robes. 

"How come you got dressed in the bathroom?" Sirius asked. He was now in the process of meticulously sorting his tie out, stood in front of the bathroom door so he could use the mirror and watching his own hands as they moved across the fabric. 

"We're all lads here. It's not like you've got anything we haven't, right?" James said. "I mean ... you wouldn't get past the stairs otherwise." 

Remus shrugged. "I just wanted to." 

"Don't worry, Remus, I don't like getting changed in front of people either," Peter said. "My parents made me and my sister go to a Muggle primary school and I used to get made fun of during sports lessons because I'm chubby. I know how you feel. Sort of."

"It's just baby fat, Peter, you'll lose it eventually," Remus said. It was something he knew his mother would say to him, but Remus was genuinely trying to make Peter feel better about himself.

Peter seemed to think about what he said for a moment and then shook his head. "I hope I don't." He replied. "It just shows I appreciate food. At least that's what my mum says." 

Remus chuckled. "Your mum's got the right idea." He said, grabbing the satchel that his father had given him for his books, parchment, ink and quills.

He checked over his timetable, absently putting the right things into his bag for the day. Transfiguration, Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, a free period, then Defense Against the Dark Arts. Easy day, hopefully. 

"You best not get all swotty on us, Remus," Sirius said. "We're going to make an impact on Hogwarts while we're here, and it certainly won't be for our outstanding grades." 

"Were you being serious about causing loads of trouble?" Remus asked, tilting his head. 

"I'm _always_ Sirius." Remus groaned, unable to stop a smile crossing his face as James and Peter laughed, and Sirius beamed at them in the mirror, looking incredibly proud. "We won't do anything that hurts people!" Sirius assured a moment later. "Just ... stuff that mildly inconveniences them."

There was a hint of a sly smirk playing at the corner of his mouth and Remus was once again reminded that Sirius Black likely had more of those snakelike qualities than he realised, and that slyness could always turn on Remus. 

So Remus looked away and continued with packing his bag, taking a deep breath and pretending to focus on what he was doing.

"It's good to play up to the teachers now." He said. "If they think we're model students, they'll never believe we're the ones causing trouble." 

"But half of the fun is the risk of getting caught," James protested. "My dad and I have a prank war going on at home. Mum has to guess which one of us did each time we play one." 

"I wish I could do that with my parents," Peter said wistfully. "They're always too busy, though." 

"We have plenty of time to get caught, we're here for seven years." Remus reminded him. "Come on, let's have a normal day today before we start giving Peeves a run for his money. The real work begins tomorrow." 

As they left the dormitory, walking side by side down towards the Great Hall, Remus truly believed the words his father had spoken to him a few days after he'd recieved his acceptance letter. 

_"This is a new beginning for you, Remus. You're going to do your mum and me so proud."_

~

September 2nd 1971 - The Great Hall

Remus stuffed his face with food at breakfast, piling his plate high with fried eggs and French toast. 

"Anyone would think you hadn't eaten for a year." A girl's voice said from beside Remus. Remus looked to his left and saw the redhead girl, Lily, from the previous night settling in the space next to him. 

"Just hungry, I suppose." He shrugged. Lily smiled and held her out to him. 

"Lily Evans." Remus shook her hand. 

"Remus Lupin." 

"Are you going to give _us_ an introduction too?" James called. He was sat furthest from Remus, with Sirius beside him and Peter in between Remus and Sirius. He was grinning at Lily and waving. 

Remus went red and pointed to others as he said their names. "That's James, that's Sirius and this is Peter." 

Lily smiled and introduced herself to them. "Some of the other girls will be here soon too. Dorcas, Marlene and Mary. We're a pretty small year group, all told. I think there's only one dormitory for boys and girls each for Gryffindor. I heard a Prefect talking about it, a lot of people are too scared to have kids because of how nasty some families can be. Whatever that means."

"Oh yeah, most of the old pureblood families are mental." Sirius chimed in. "What are you, Evans?" 

Lily frowned. "What do you mean, what am I?" 

"He means your blood status," Remus explained. "Purebloods are people with two pureblood parents, half-bloods have half-blood parents or a pureblood and a Muggle parent, Muggleborns are the ones with non-magical parents." 

"Oh," She said quietly. "I-I think I'm a Muggleborn. No one in my family can do magic. Is it a bad thing?"

"No," Remus said quickly. "It just means there was a Squib, someone who had magical blood but didn't have any magic of their own, in your family a few generations back. It happens sometimes. Squibs often marry Muggles because they can blend in with Muggles easier, so the magic shows up a few generations later." 

Lily nodded, still looking confused. "Are any of you purebloods?" 

"I am," James said, raising a hand. 

"Same here," Peter added. 

"Me too," Sirius replied. "One might argue my family is one of the 'purest' families in England. We're considered 'sacred'." Disgust dripped off every word and Remus could see the slight tension in his shoulders. 

"What about you, Remus?" Lily asked. Remus felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden, taking a sip of his pumpkin juice before he built up the courage to answer. He hadn't known that James and Peter were purebloods. 

"Half-blood." He replied. "Mum's a Muggle, Dad's a wizard. Shocked everyone when he married her. They were purebloods originally, but not one of the old families. We're not that rich, and we live in Wales rather than near London. My dad works in the Ministry." 

"Oh, so do my parents! And Peter's!" James exclaimed. "What department is he in? Mine are both in Accidents and Catastrophes. Peter's mum is in Transport and his dad is in the MLE." 

_Magical Law Enforcement? That's a tough department. Dad says it's one of the departments that's always overrun with too many people with not enough work to do,_ Remus thought.

He wondered whether Peter would ever go into it. Most people with parents in that department followed their family's footsteps. 

"Mine's in Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures," Remus told him.

The knowledge of the people his father worked with had never sat right with him. He'd only known the specific department for about a year, and then he'd found out what they were for, and he felt sick to his stomach every single time he thought about it.

The department was for keeping tabs on every magical creature in England, from rogue pixies and centaurs to poltergeists and werewolves.

Remus, technically, was classed as one of these creatures, but his father had always tried to deter him from thinking that way. 

"What's your dad's first name?" Sirius asked. "My parents recognised him when they saw him in Ollivanders yesterday. Maybe they've worked together on projects. Sometimes they do that, they have a lot of friends in the Ministry."

"Lyall," Remus told him. "His name's Lyall." Sirius' brows scrunched up as he thought over it.

"Isn't he the one that's mad on hunting down werewolves?" James asked. "I think I read about him in the Prophet once. My folks keep old issues for reference, it's part of their jobs. My mum had to pull out one about a Lupin over the summer. I managed to sneak a look at it. Apparently, there were loads of accidents in the Muggle world around the time that your dad's name became well known." 

"Didn't he catch and try to charge Fenrir Greyback for turning a bunch of kids into werewolves? Not many of them survived past the first full moon, and the ones that did are still out there somewhere, still werewolves." Peter added through a mouthful of food. 

_There's that name again._ _Fenrir Greyback._

"I-I don't know." Remus stuttered. "He doesn't really tell me what he does at work. I only found out what department he worked in last year because I begged him to tell me. I thought he was an Auror, but I was wrong." 

"I remember now. Lyall went off on a rant after the Ministry released Greyback. They didn't believe that he was actually a werewolf, and Lyall started insulting him once he was released. I remember my parents talking about the case. They said that Greyback had probably killed his family." Sirius said. 

"Guy like that wouldn't be opposed to revenge." James agreed. 

"I didn't even know any of that had happened," Remus said softly. 

"It was ages ago," Sirius said dismissively. "Must've been ... I don't know, maybe January or February of '65? We were still only young. My parents just don't have a filter about anything, so my brother and I hear a lot of things."

Remus returned to his food, suddenly losing his appetite. Was _that_ why he'd been bitten? Because Lyall had tried to lock up a werewolf, had insulted one when he didn't get his own way? 

He forced himself to chew through some toast, even though it now tasted like cardboard. 

"I'm sure your dad's views have changed by now, Remus," Lily said quietly. Remus looked up at her. 

"What makes you say that?" 

Lily shrugged. "People change as they grow up. They say stuff they don't mean when they're upset. My sister says a lot of horrid things she doesn't mean sometimes. But it's okay, I know she doesn't like that I've gone away for school. She misses having me at home."

Remus opened his mouth to respond when three other girls rushed to the table, their voices all chattering madly over one another as they fought to regain their breath. Lily introduced them all. 

Dorcas Meadowes was a dark-skinned girl with curly black shoulder-length hair, eyes the colour of caramel and a smile that showed off the deep dimples either side of her mouth. She was carrying a Transfiguration textbook in her hand and kept glancing down at it like she'd rather read it than eat breakfast. 

Marlene McKinnon was a tall blonde, sparkling blue eyes peeking out from long, dark eyelashes. She was a little louder than the other two, dramatically retelling an argument she'd overheard in the common room to Lily. 

Mary MacDonald was the shortest of the three, with long brown hair scraped back in a ponytail, freckles covering her nose and rosy red cheeks. Her light brown eyes squinted slightly when a stream of sun shone through the windows, hitting her face. She was a little shyer than the others, but smiled a lot and seemed sweet. 

As the girls introduced themselves properly to Remus and his friends, the eight of them decided to eat breakfast together. 

The Gryffindor table was by far the loudest in the Hall this morning, and Remus was almost sad to leave when it was time for their first lesson.

Despite the discussion at breakfast, he had enjoyed getting to know the people around him. 

They travelled in a big group until they stumbled across the Transfiguration classroom, asking portraits and older students to guide them before they eventually found it.

They filed in and picked desks close to each other. Eventually, students with different coloured ties began to fill out the classroom as well until there were about thirty of them sharing desks, a mix and match between all the houses. 

Remus was sat at the back with Peter with James and Sirius sat in front of them. James and Sirius had insisted that they sit at the back so that it would be harder to get caught out for chatting or sending notes during lessons. 

"First years, can I have your attention please?!" McGonnagall called from the front. 

The chatter died down slowly until everyone was watching her. 

“I understand this is all very new and exciting, but let's not get too ahead of ourselves, hm? Now, welcome to your first Transfiguration lesson. Can anyone give me a definition of what Transfiguration is the study of?" 

~

September 2nd 1971 - The Marauders' Dormitory

Sirius groaned as he flopped onto his bed, face buried into his pillow and limbs spread-eagled across the mattress. 

"They've given us so much homework already. It's only the first day." He complained, lifting his head only to speak before he let it slam back onto his pillow. Remus had to fight to stop himself from laughing at the other boy.

"I agree," James said dumping his bag on his trunk and sprawled on his bed, looking up at the ceiling. 

"It should be illegal." Peter yawned, rubbing at his eyes as he laid on his stomach with a pillow in his arms, looking at his new friends. 

"Do you think the teachers will believe me if I say I mysteriously broke my wrist the night before the work is due?" Remus asked, a light joking tone in his voice as he rolled his shoulders, trying to work the soreness away. Maybe he could ask another student to help him with a Weightlessness Charm to make carrying so much for so long easier. 

"Good plan, we'll all do that." Sirius decided.

"It won't work if all of us have a broken wrist. Come up with your own excuse." Remus laughed.

"I've decided that we're definitely keeping Remus, lads. From now on, he's our cover stories expert," Sirius said, ignoring Remus' comment as he rolled onto his back and sent a grin in Remus' direction.

Remus rolled his eyes and felt himself go warm as he kicked off his shoes, untucked his shirt, untied his tie and popped open his top button before settling against the headboard of his bed. 

His first day was done, and there was a warm feeling pride settling in his stomach at the thought of already making his parents proud. He'd handled the topic of werewolves well this morning, and it would get easier to lie about in time.

 _We're keeping Remus, lads_. Such a simple sentence rang in his ears over and over, and yet it somehow meant the world to him. 

Remus knew that he would start feeling the pressure after his next full moon at the end of the week, in which time he'd start missing his parents and wish he'd never left at all, but he'd have to focus primarily on keeping his sudden absence hidden from the others.

He wanted to have the chance to finish school. The stakes were higher for him more so than anyone else, and he knew that he stood to lose everything if he didn't do well.

However, the thought of just being a goody-two-shoes for his entire school life sounded incredibly boring. And first-year didn't count, did it?

This was his opportunity to spend a year doing whatever he liked as he settled into the routine of attending school in a castle full of magic. This was his chance to get long term friends, to prioritise them. 

"Oi, Remus!" Remus barely had a chance to process that someone had said his name before he saw the shoe flying at him.

He tried to dodge it and ended up losing his balance and tumbling off the bed instead, landing on the floor in a heap. 

There was a moment of silence and Remus managed to straighten himself out just as he and his dormmates locked eyes and promptly burst into laughter. 

"Good reflexes, mate," James said.

Remus clambered back onto his bed and pushed his hair out of his eyes. It was getting far too long now, slightly curly and auburn and constantly falling in his eyes. 

"What did you throw a shoe at me for?" He asked. 

"You were staring off into space. You looked worried about something, and you wouldn't respond when we said your name." Peter told him. 

"What were you thinking about?" Sirius inquired. 

"Nothing, really," Remus said. 

"Liar." Sirius scoffed. Remus frowned. 

"I miss my parents, that's all." 

"Really? Why would anyone miss their parents when we've got a whole castle to explore, we have free reign to go to bed whenever we like, and we can pretty much do whatever we like without them breathing down our necks?" Sirius looked genuinely confused. 

"Like I said yesterday, I don't have any siblings, and we live in the Welsh countryside where the nearest town isn't for ten miles and we don't have any neighbours. I only have my parents." 

"Not true," James said. "You have us. We're mates, aren't we?"

"Of course," Remus replied. "But we've only known each other a day." 

"So?" 

"He's right, we don't exactly know each other that well, do we?" Peter said. 

"Then let's change that," James said resolutely. 

~

September 2nd 1971 - The Marauders' Dormitory

The four of them spent the two hours between the end of their lessons and dinner asking each other random questions. Their favourite colours to their favourite Quidditch team, anything they could think of. 

"What's something that you've never told anyone?" Peter asked the four of them. "I accidentally kicked the family cat down the stairs when I was six. She blended into the carpet and I didn't see her stood at the top. Me and my sister were running downstairs for dinner when it happened and I blamed it on Emily. She got grounded for a week." 

A chorus of laughter erupted in the room and the other three took a few more seconds to think of what they could say. 

"I smashed a neighbour's window once," James said. "My dad and I were playing Quidditch in the back garden last summer and I threw a Quaffle to him, but I angled it weird and it went over the fence and flew into the neighbour's living room. We still haven't told Mum." 

Sirius sat up as he began. "One time, my brother broke a priceless vase. I took the blame when my parents started screaming at us, so they locked me in my room without any dinner. I told them we were playing catch with it, but I'd actually just been teasing him and he threw it at me. Regulus has been scared that I'll tell them it was actually him ever since." 

James, Peter and Remus' eyebrows raised. None of their parents had ever done that before. They'd yelled, of course, maybe gotten angry a few times, but they'd never taken it to that extreme before. 

Sirius looked over at Remus, oblivious to the way his friends had reacted to his story. "Remus? What about you?" 

Remus was startled out of his stupor and fumbled in his memory for something to say. There wasn't much he could tell them without giving away his condition. 

"Um ... my Boggart is my parents resenting me." He shrugged, feeling self-conscious. 

"How'd you know that? We aren't supposed to be doing work with Boggarts for another two years yet." James was frowning, and there was a slight hint of jealousy behind his eyes that Remus knew something so huge before him. 

"My dad found one in the woods near our house once, he locked it in the shed and didn't tell us it was in there because he had to go to work. A few hours later, I was helping my mum with the vegetable patch in the back garden, and she asked me to get some gloves from the shed. Luckily, my dad got back just as I opened the door and banished it, but not before I got one of the biggest scares of my life." Remus explained. 

"That's so cool that you've already had a run-in with a Boggart!" Peter exclaimed, looking at him in awe. "I can't wait until we learn how to banish one. It'll be so cool." Remus smiled. 

The Boggart wasn't a complete lie. His father really had found one and locked it in the shed, and Remus _had_ stumbled across it two years previously.

He was deathly afraid of his parents resenting him, but it once again led back to the _thing_ he turned into every month.

He knew there was a lot of pressure on him to be perfect, to be an example to other people and to show that there was good in even the darkest of creatures.

His Boggart had actually shown him during a full moon and attacking his parents, and Remus had retreated into himself even more. 

He never wanted his parents to regret keeping him safe and healthy all these years after he tore himself apart every month, and he never wanted to hurt them. 

"We should probably head down to dinner," Remus said, trying to get the attention away from himself. 

"Good shout. Tonight, we shall feast like men in preparation for our trek around the school. We'll have to be very sneaky to get past the Prefects, and I won't have anyone's stomach rumbling." James agreed.

The four of them left their uniforms in whatever state they had been in for the last two hours, with rumpled shirts and unbuttoned collars, shoelaces barely tied and ties loose around their necks. 

Remus listened as James and Sirius chattered away about Quidditch on the walk down to the Hall.

Already, James and Sirius seemed to have so much in common, from their shared love of Transfiguration and Quidditch to their mannerisms and the way they gestured. 

Just as they were all stepping over the threshold of the Hall, they were stopped by three older Slytherin girls.

One of them had dark and wild curls barely contained around her shoulders, who held herself with all the grace of someone who was used to having their opinion listened to and valued.

The girl to one side of her was slightly taller, with neat blonde hair tied half-back.

The final girl was standing slightly behind the others, with light brown waves spilling over her shoulders, reaching down to her waist. She was the shortest and was watching the others with wariness in their eyes. 

_Their eyes, they're all like Sirius',_ Remus thought as he looked at them closer.

Each of them had grey eyes just slightly darker than Sirius', but still just as piercing.

Combined with the angled cheekbones and sharp jaws that Sirius would also likely grow into as he got older, Remus was then reminded the conversation he and his friends had had on the train to Hogwarts. 

_My cousins are the worst things about the castle. Bella's in her seventh year, Cissa is in her sixth, Andy's in fifth._

These were the Black sisters. Two of them, the blonde and the one with curls, didn't seem too happy to see Sirius. 

"Alright girls?" Sirius greeted. "To what do I owe the pleasure of seeing my dear cousins tonight?" 

"Cut the drama, Sirius." The dark-haired girl said. "A letter has been sent back to Grimmauld Place about last night's ... _events_ at the Sorting Ceremony. Arrangements will be made for you to join us in Slytherin by the end of the week. Don't get too attached to these little friends of yours. You'll be surrounded by your own soon enough." 

"Not a chance, Bellatrix," Sirius said fiercely. "The Hat made its decision, and I agree with it. It's ancient, it can't be swayed into changing its mind. No amount of money is disguising the fact that I'm a Gryffindor. You'll all have to deal with it. Sod off. You too, Narcissa."

Sirius glared at the blonde and she pursed her lips. 

"Sirius-" Narcissa started. 

"Come on, we've said what we needed to say. Mother and Father will be mad if we do any more. Let's just go back to the table." The girl in the back hissed, appearing between the other two and grabbing their arms, trying to lead them away.

Her sisters seemed to hesitate, glaring at Sirius. James stepped protectively in front of him, and then so did Remus and Peter, all staring down the older Black girls. 

Remus didn't know _why_ they felt the need to protect Sirius now. Maybe it was something about the story he'd told earlier that gave them the feeling that Sirius' family were unkind even to their own, and no one had ever challenged them without regretting it. 

Their hold over Sirius changed now. He and the three other boys surrounding him were only first years, they knew nothing about magic and had only had wands of their own for two days, but Remus felt incredibly protective and unwilling to be scared off by other students just because they were older. 

Bellatrix's upper lip curled and she tossed her hair over her shoulder, waltzing over towards the Slytherin table.

Narcissa followed, giving Sirius a final sour look. But the last sister, the one that Sirius had referred to as, 'Andy', stayed behind.

Sirius wiggled past his friends and hugged her tightly. He had to stand on his toes, and the girl had to lean down slightly, but Remus was immediately put at ease by the exchange. She was an exception. 

"I'm proud of you, Siri." She said softly. "Stay safe. I don't know when we'll have another moment without my sisters lurking around, so I'll warn you now to be careful when you go home at Christmas. Uncle Orion and Aunt Walburga won't like this. Expect a Howler tomorrow morning, Bella suggested it. I love you." 

"Thanks for the warning, Andy, love you too," Sirius replied. "Don't worry about me, I can handle my parents. They'll yell a little, but they won't do anything that might upset Regulus. He always cries when they get angry at me." 

" _Andromeda_!" Bellatrix called. Andromeda and Sirius separated and Remus saw Bellatrix and Narcissa scowling at Sirius, stood at the edge of the Slytherin table. 

"Keep an eye on him for me, you three. Thank you for sticking up for him today." Andromeda said quickly, addressing Remus, James and Peter. She didn't give them a chance to respond before she flitted away, leaving the four of them alone again.

"Blacks." James sighed, shaking his head. "Weird, the whole lot of them. No offence, Sirius."

"None taken," Sirius said, still looking in the direction that his cousins had gone it. "Come on, I'm starving, let's eat." 


	3. 1971 - Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin and Black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus' heart sank and he frowned at Sirius. Part of him had hoped that he'd been wrong about Sirius, that there was more kindness in him, that he was different.

September 2nd 1971 - The Gryffindor Table

Just like Andromeda had warned, there was a Howler the following morning. Remus had a vague understanding of what a Howler was, but nothing compared to seeing - and hearing - one in real life. 

Remus had also received mail, but he waited to read it when he saw the red envelope land in front of Sirius, who was sitting across from him at the table. 

Everyone in the room was silent, and Sirius' lips quirked up in a smile as he looked to James in the space next to him and opened the envelope. It was common knowledge that you opened a Howler when you received one. The longer you left it, the less time you had before it exploded. 

Sirius let it drop back onto the table and then the letter came to life, 

_"Sirius Orion Black, how_ dare _you disgrace us like this!_

_For four hundred years, the Blacks have been in Slytherin, and you accept the blatant disrespect of a clearly faulty hat over the legacy we have left to you._

_How_ dare _you not fight to be put where_ _you belong! You are an heir to the Black family, and you bring nothing but shame to us from the moment you step foot in that school._

 _We've sent word to the Headmaster, and you_ will _be put in your rightful place soon._

_Your cousins have been entrusted to keep an eye on you for as long as they are at school, to make sure that you do right by this family and fix your mistakes._

_We will be discussing this as soon as you come home at Christmas._

_Until then, do not give us a reason to follow up on you, otherwise, you will be taken out of Hogwarts and you will continue your schooling at home under our supervision."_

The Howler burst into flames and revealed Sirius continuing on with his breakfast, barely paying it any mind. 

"What _was_ that?" Lily asked, staring at the space where the Howler was now smouldering. 

"Howler," Peter said. "Nasty little things. Records your voice with some added volume. Usually, people use them if they're too angry to write. You have to open them, otherwise, they explode." 

"How are they allowed?" 

"They're hardly the worst thing in our arsenal." James shrugged. "They have a shortlived time to shine once they're delivered. Some spells are a hell of a lot worse, so bad that they do theory lessons on them, but only ever as a warning. You better get used to it, Evans, you're in a whole new world now." 

Lily looked dismayed, and her eyes landed on Sirius. "Are you alright, Sirius?" 

Sirius looked up at her and swallowed his porridge. "I was expecting worse." He said, flashing her a grin. "That was pretty tame for my mother. She didn't even start swearing. Clearly, it didn't annoy her that much." 

"Are you not worried about your cousins?" Remus asked. "It said that-"

"They've got bigger things on their minds." Sirius dismissed, returning to his food. The other students were now beginning to do the same, sharing glances and clearly wondering what the year had in store now that Sirius had caused such a disturbance in only two days. "Rumour has it that Rodolphus Lestrange is going to propose to Bella soon. I have a bet with Andromeda on when he'll do it. She thinks Bella's birthday in February, I think Christmas." 

"Propose?!" Remus exclaimed, staring at Sirius in shock. 

Sirius frowned at him. "Yeah, Remus. Propose. It means they'll get married." 

"I know what it means!" Remus rolled his eyes. 

"Why are you so shocked? People get engaged and married all the time."

"But not at seventeen!" Remus responded. 

"She's almost eighteen," Sirius countered. 

"Are you really defending this?" Remus asked. "Why would he propose so young?" 

"It's normal practice in the old families," Sirius told him. His tone betrayed how obvious it was to him. "Marry off everyone really young, make sure it's a suitable pureblood match to carry on the family name with. It's what my parents call 'tactical marriage'. Me and my brother will have to do it eventually. I'm actually surprised that they didn't get married as soon as they were of age. Her parents and Rodolphus' have had them 'courting' since they were fifteen." 

"That sort of thing still happens?" Peter asked curiously. Sirius nodded. 

"It's a big family event." He said. "Apparently, Narcissa's caught Lucius Malfoy's eye, and Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella didn't even _plan_ that one. They're really chuffed. Andy will be sometime in the in-between. She's older than Narcissa, their parents won't let her get married before Andy. It's the good thing about having three kids less than five years apart, it means there's always something to plan for. Coming of age, engagements, baby showers, births, weddings, anniversaries, all sorts."

"That's mental," James said. "If I got engaged at seventeen, my parents would be livid. I think they'd be happier with me getting a tattoo." 

"We should do that," Sirius said. "The four of us."

"I'm scared of needles." Peter protested. 

"My parents would disown me," Remus added, only slightly joking. His parents had always disapproved of anything that would draw attention to their family. 

"Oh, come on!" James whined. "We don't have to do them now, but when we're a bit older we should go to London. There's an artist who creates ones that move! How cool would that be?! Matching tattoos with your friends!" 

"How about we circle round to that idea if we actually make it to seventeen?" Remus suggested, laughing.

Sirius and James wore matching pouts for a moment before Remus threw a croissant at Sirius, prompting the four of them to dissolve into meaningless conversations about how to improve the taste of breakfast foods.

~

September 3rd 1971 - Potions Classroom

Remus drew his robes around him tighter when he walked into the Potions classroom. It was cold in the dungeons, and the whole place reminded him of the bunker his parents had managed to install under the shed for his transformations.

It was only a little smaller than the Potions classroom and would have to be enlarged when he was older and bigger and the wolf got stronger. The musty air always made Remus gag a little as he screamed in the painful lead up to the moon's highest point, and made the entire transformation more uncomfortable than it really needed to be.

However, Remus couldn't really find it in him to tell his parents how much he hated it, how much worse it made the whole situation, how scared he was, even after so long this way. Lyall had done it all with magic, so it was the most fortified place for him.

Originally he'd used his room when he'd first been bitten, and then the attic a little while later, and it had given his father the time to make something a little more permanent.

Remus supposed it was better that way. He'd never forget the sound of his mother sobbing on the other side of the bedroom door as he screamed and begged for them to help him.

It was hard for her to hear. Remus loved his mother with all his heart, he was immensely protective of her. He hated upsetting her, and had all but begged his father to be moved to the attic instead. Remus had never told them the reason, just that he thought it would help.

He had a slightly more strained relationship with his father, and Remus wanted nothing more than for things to eventually get better between them.

He understood now that his father must've felt a lot of guilt around Remus' condition, now that he'd heard the story of how Lyall had angered Fenrir Greyback.

Despite it all, Remus knew deep down that they both loved him. His mother was just better at showing it.

It had taken a long time for him to understand what was really happening to him, and his parents had never used the word, 'werewolf', to describe Remus to his face, only when they thought he was asleep, but he was used to it at this point. 

"Take a seat, please, first years!" Professor Slughorn called from the front of the room.

Remus had never met Slughorn before but knew the name through Peter, who was really excited about getting taught by the legendary Potions Master.

He was shorter than Remus had expected and larger around the stomach, but he greeted them with a wide smile and a cheery voice, and it was enough to make Remus like him. 

He pointed out a desk to his friends, and they began making their way to it when the black-haired boy that had been stood in front of them during their Sorting beat them to it, sneering as he noticed them.

Remus could get a better look at him now, with dark eyes, his hair almost long enough to be tucked behind his ears, a slightly crooked nose and a tightness around his mouth that betrayed the distaste he felt at seeing Remus and his friends.

"Beat it, Black," He snapped. "You _and_ your little pests. We've reserved this desk." 

"I'm sorry, who are you exactly?" Sirius asked, looking him up and down. 

"Don't act so pretentious." The boy said. 

"Big word for a such a scrappy kid," James replied. The boy was smaller than all of them bar Lily and was only slightly less scrawny than Remus. 

"It's bold of you to assume I'm lying when I know I'd remember that smell. Do your parents not care if you have a bath more than once a week?" Sirius added.

James sniggered and Peter clapped a hand over his mouth, trying to hide his smile. Remus' heart sank and he frowned at Sirius.

Part of him had hoped that he'd been wrong about Sirius, that there was more kindness in him, that he was _different_.

The fact that he had already managed to tease and taunt someone about something as simple as their hair, as unpleasant as they might be so far, just proved to Remus even more that Sirius was not the kind of person to get close to. 

"Sirius, don't be cruel!" Lily scolded.

She was looking at Sirius with hurt flashing in her eyes.

Clearly, she had felt the same as Remus, thinking that Sirius had escaped all the behaviours from his family. 

"Stay out of this, Evans." Sirius snapped. 

"Don't talk to her like that," Snape growled. 

"Let's just get another desk, you lot," Remus said. "There's plenty of them, there's no need to start spitting insults." 

"Not anymore," Peter said worriedly, looking around the room. "Looks like we have to split into pairs." Remus did the same as Peter, noticing now that everyone else has snatched up the desks that the four of them could've shared. 

"Severus, there's four of them, let's just give them the desk. We don't need all this room to ourselves." Lily said, putting a hand on the boy's arm. 

"Why? We got here first." Severus said indignantly. 

"Don't be such a _boy_. It's just a desk." Lily teased gently. 

"Severus?" James asked. "Oh, I know you, you're Eileen Prince's boy. Our mums went to school together. She was a seventh-year when yours was in first. She said Eileen had married a Muggle and had a kid called Severus."

Severus sneered again. "Good for your mum. Find somewhere else to sit." 

"You heard Evans, there's four of us and two of you. Get lost." Sirius said. 

"Boys! And Miss Evans!" Slughorn called from across the room. He was still sounding cheery, but his smile had faltered slightly as he looked over to them. "Let's not have a fuss over seating arrangements. Miss Evans, Mr Snape, come and sit here near me. Mr Snape tells me that both of you have done extra reading for my classes. I'd love to pick your brains on what you thought!" 

"Come on, Sev." Lily encouraged, pulling Snape towards Slughorn.

Snape stepped towards Sirius and muttered lowly. "Just because you're a Black, doesn't mean you own the school, okay? Your cousins deserve respect, but you're nothing more than a selfish brat who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth. You only want attention because its the one thing you can't buy. Stay out of my way, and stay away from Lily."

"Or what?" Remus asked.

He stepped closer, putting a shoulder between Sirius and Snape, trying to take the brunt of anything else to come.

Even after Sirius' comments that had provoked a harsh response from the Slytherin, Remus still wanted to shield Sirius.

If there was one thing he'd learnt about the other boy since meeting him, it was that Sirius was holding back a lot more than he was letting on.

A Howler for getting Sorted into the 'wrong house', the idea that he would have to be married off once he was of age like he was nothing more than a prize to be won, his casual approach to his parents sending him to a locked room without any food for a simple accident, all of it pointed to Sirius having a much harder life than even _he_ realised.

Remus sincerely hoped that it didn't get much worse than that, and that Sirius would be safe when they all separated for Christmas.

The last thing he wanted was for Sirius to get any trouble at school because of his family, not when his family clearly twisted his views enough as it was. 

"Or _what_ , Snape?" Remus growled. "Go on, tell us. Will you make a greaseball out of your hair and throw it at us? Is that because you're not good enough at magic to do anything better? Fuck off, Snape, or you'll be the one having to stay out of _our_ way." 

Snape glowered and gave Remus and his friends one last glare before following diligently. 

"Where did _that_ come from, Remus?" Peter asked. "I didn't think you had it in you to be so angry. Or swear." 

"I didn't either," Remus said, eyes following Snape across the room.

It wasn't a very nice thing for him to have said. He didn't even know _why_ he'd said it, just that he didn't like people making threats.

He shouldn't have done it, and he immediately felt terrible. He didn't know why he'd sworn either. He'd heard his father use curse words many times as he got angry and frustrated, but Remus had never dared to use them before, scared of making his father angry if he heard them come out of Remus' mouth. 

"You did the right thing, mate. What a prat," James said, putting a hand on Remus' shoulder, sensing the guilt he was feeling.

"Absolute tosser." Sirius agreed. He sighed. "At least we've got our desk sorted." 

"Settle down, everyone! Let's get started on learning some very exciting potions!" Slughorn called over the chatter, clapping his hands and looking over the class with a level of brightness to him. 

~

September 3rd 1971 - The Marauder's Dormitory

Remus read over his letter from his perch on the windowsill in his dormitory. He'd not had a chance at breakfast. Somehow, it had felt wrong to be happy about a letter from home when Sirius had received a Howler. 

The others were downstairs in the common room, and Remus had said he was only going upstairs for a few minutes, but it had been closer to ten, and Remus knew he wouldn't have long before one came up to check on what he was doing. 

_Remus,_

_Congratulations on the Sorting! A Gryffindor in the family, how exciting! If your grandparents were still alive, they'd be ecstatic. They'd always hoped I would have a little more bravery and a sense for adventure in me instead of being such an academic.  
_

_Your mother and I are very happy for you, though your mum doesn't quite understand it all, bless her._

_The hardest part of first-year is over. Now the real fun begins._

_Take every opportunity, Remus, promise me. Join clubs, make friends._

_What are your dormmates like? Are they nice? I'm still close with one of my dormmates even now, they really are friendships for life if you put the effort in._

_How's old Slughorn, is he still teaching Potions? What about Minerva? Is she still the head of house for Gryffindor? Best not to get on her bad side, be careful not to be late to her lessons._

_I imagine there was quite a ruckus when that Black boy arrived. I think some of his cousins are at school, too. Having so many of them in one place for too long would make my skin crawl. Be careful around them. They're not hard to spot. All Slytherins with pale skin and sharp features ... they catch everyone's eye. They're a bad bunch, absolutely horrid. They all go Dark eventually. Stay well away from them, Remus, promise me._

__Write back soon, tell me all about it and give your mother peace of mind that you're okay. Keep us updated regarding this Sunday and what's coming up.__

__Madame Pomfrey will be there, don't be afraid to ask her for help if anything hurts. She's a lovely lady as long as you're respectful of her, which I know you will be._ _

__Good luck!_ _

__\- Dad_ _

Remus took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hated being reminded of when the full moon was.

He knew he'd be more and more exhausted the closer it got, and he dreaded the state his body would be in, come Monday morning. Battered and bloody and bruised, most likely. It completely destroyed him, and Remus was always left to pick up the pieces the morning after. He hated that this would be his life for the next Merlin knew how long. 

_It is what it is. Accept it and move on,_ is what his father would say.

So he did what he always did, and he shoved down any thoughts of what his life would be like without the wolf under his skin, took a deep breath, and walled over the emotional side of him, separating himself from anything that would upset him. Tears and self-pity would not get him anywhere and only gave him a headache. 

"Hey, Remus?" Remus looked over to the door and saw James standing there, hair wild, as usual, glasses slightly askew and a wild look in his eyes. 

"Everything alright?" Remus asked. James nodded enthusiastically. 

"We've got an idea," James said. When Remus raised an eyebrow, James' face split into a wide smile, looking awfully proud of himself. "We want to play a prank on that Snape kid from Potions." 

"Why?" Remus asked. 

"Because he was a prat this morning!" 

"All he did was reserve a seat for him and Lily."

"Well, Sirius and I didn't like the way he spoke to us."

"I'm sure Snape didn't like the way you both spoke to _him_ as well." Remus pointed out. "Or the things _I_ said." 

"Don't be like that, Remus!" James complained. "Let's just have a little fun!"

"What were you thinking?" Remus asked. 

"It was actually Peter's idea. I'm quite jealous _I_ didn't think of it, it's really smart." James said, rubbing the back of his neck like he really _was_ embarrassed to be the one who hadn't thought of their first prank together. "We _were_ going to put Bulbadox powder in his shoes." 

"How are you going to do that? He's wearing his shoes." Remus said. 

"Well, yeah, we realised that. But we still want to use Bulbadox powder. Peter has a stash of it. He was going to use it on his sister because she put itching powder in his pyjamas over the summer, and he didn't want her to find out what he was planning, so he brought it with him. He said this is more important, so he's letting us use however much we need." 

"If you're really insistent on pranking him, why not make something similar to a dungbomb out of it and enchant it to explode above him at dinner?" Remus said. "Embarrass him enough to make sure he doesn't give us trouble?" 

James' eyes lit up. "How did you think of that on the spot?! That's fantastic! Okay, we won't be able to do it tonight, we'll have to spend tomorrow working on it, and we can do it on Sunday. Come downstairs, we need you to help us with this." 

Remus jumped off the windowsill and tucked his letter into his trunk, feeling cold all of a sudden. Any happiness he might've gotten out of dealing with Snape was now dashed by the fact that it preceded the full moon.

He kept his face neutral as he followed James back down to the common room, where Sirius and Peter were sprawled on the floor in front of the fireplace. 

"Remus solved our little problem!" James announced, sitting beside Sirius.

Remus took the space beside Peter, drawing a knee up to his chest and tucking the other one beneath him as James explained what Remus had suggested. 

"Oi, you four, I'd be a little more careful about what you say." A nearby boy said. He was tucked into an armchair, scribbling something down on some parchment, and had only looked up to address them. 

"Why?" Remus asked. 

"The Prefects will dock house points or give you detentions if they know you're up to something. Or they'll tell McGonnagall. Keep your voices down and get that Snape kid back." 

"How do you know Snape?" James asked. 

"Overheard him chatting to some Slytherins, complaining about the fact that his redhead friend pulled him away from 'putting Sirius in his place', and that one of Sirius' mates had stepped in and embarrassed him. If you prank him, you might make things worse, but at least he knows that you won't just sit down and let him think he's superior just because he's a Slytherin." The boy shrugged. 

"Thanks for the warning," Sirius said. "What's your name?" 

"Frank." The boy replied. "Frank Longbottom. I'm a third-year." 

"Nice to meet you, Frank," Sirius said, giving him a lopsided smile. "This is James, Peter and Remus." He pointed each of them out and Frank nodded at them all.

"Nice to meet too, lads," Frank replied. Sirius turned back to his friends. 

"What do you say we go for a walk, have a look around the castle?" He suggested. Remus knew what he meant by this, they all did.

Sirius wanted to find secret passageways. It was after dinner, so they weren't expected anywhere until the universal curfew in three hours' time.

The group hadn't had much luck so far in finding anything secret so far, and they'd all taken it as a personal hit.

Remus knew how determined they all were to find ways throughout the castle that would make their lives easier if they were late for lessons or if they wanted to avoid teachers or Filch or the ghosts.

The passageways were useful, and they hadn't been at Hogwarts a week yet, giving them plenty of time to find all the hidden places the castle had to offer, but somehow it still felt like time was running out.

He didn't know if any of the others felt it, but Remus was incredibly aware of an invisible timer above his head, counting down the moments he had left here. The thought of not seeing the numbers, of not knowing whether his departure would be from his condition or from surviving all seven years and leaving to make his way in the world, made him extremely nervous. 

"Remus, are you coming?" James asked. Remus scrambled to his feet and followed them out of the common room. 

"Are you alright, mate?" Peter asked, nudging Remus gently. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" Remus replied. 

"You've just seemed a little off today."

"Everything's completely fine. Don't worry about me." 

Peter clearly wanted to say more, but as they reached the moving staircases and had to focus on navigating them, he looked away and left it at that.

~

September 3rd 1971 - The Fifth Floor

"Dammit! I really thought we'd find one this time!" Sirius said as they walked up a flight of stairs.

They were making their way back to their common room, which Remus was grateful for. He was starting to get cold.

He was wearing one of his favourite jumpers over the top of his uniform, but the draughtiness that seemed to grip the castle constantly was beginning to find gaps in the fabric, prickling at his skin through his thin shirt and making his hands feel numb, no matter how long he had them in his pockets for. 

"James, which way is it back to the common room?" Sirius asked, frowning at the junction in the corridor in front of him. 

"I don't know! I was just following you!" James replied. 

"I was following _you_!" Sirius exclaimed. "Remus, which way do we go?" 

Remus shrugged, just as lost as the other two. He was just trying to focus on keeping his mind off the mind-numbing cold beginning to seep into his bones. 

"It's left, down the corridor, down another set of steps and then we’re at the moving staircases. It’s easy from there." Peter piped up. The other three looked at him and he smiled sheepishly. "I'm good with directions." He said simply. 

"The list of positive traits for our new friends just keeps getting longer and longer, don't you think, James?" Sirius mused. 

"Considerably so." James nodded. "Left we go! Cheers, Pete, you're a lifesaver."

Peter beamed and Remus gave him a smile and a small thumbs-up as the others turned around and the carried on down the corridor. Peter often seemed to suffer from moments of doubt and insecurity. Little moments like this always brightened him up and made him feel better about himself. 

As they turned left, they passed by a portrait of an elderly man reading, surrounded by a few floating candles. Remus looked up at it, paused, and tried to find a name anywhere on it, curious to know who it was.

He didn't know what it was that drew him to it, but he peered closer at a small white inscription on the lower right-hand corner, looking for anything interesting at all. 

"What are you doing, Remus?" Sirius called from halfway down the corridor. Remus looked over at them, feeling slightly embarrassed. 

"I was just looking at the portrait." He responded. "I wanted to know who it was, but there's no name."

"I'm sure he'll tell you sometime, but he's probably busy with his book. Best to leave him to it." James added. "Hurry up before my fingers start to freeze and break off." 

Remus rolled his eyes and spared one last glance at the portrait. It was hanging awkwardly on the wall. It may have just been because of the heaviness and how large it was - it was certainly bigger than Remus - but surely the staff would've done something to make it more secure? 

He looked at the side of the frame, spotting the small gap between it at the wall, and felt a slight brush of air against his nose and cheeks. Remus pulled away and looked at the stones surrounding the frame and saw some small gaps, just large enough to jam the toes of shoes into. 

"Guys!" Remus called. "Get over here, I think I found something!" He heard his friend's footsteps echo towards him, and only looked away from the gap when they were standing at the portrait with him. "There's a slight breeze coming from behind the portrait. If there's a breeze-"

"There's airflow." Sirius finished. "A passageway?" 

"I think so," Remus said. "Look, there are parts of the stone missing below the frame, they could be footholds. It's higher up, that's why this portrait is being used, it's big enough to cover most of the evidence. It's too heavy to move with just one of us. Help me?" 

"Peter, James, you grab that end of the portrait and pull from there, Remus and I will push from this side," Sirius instructed. The four of them arranged themselves, making sure they all had a firm grip on the frame. "When it moves, if there's a passageway, I vote Remus uses the footholds and has a look." 

"What?! Why?!" Remus asked. 

"You found it," James said; as if it were obvious. "It's only fair." 

"All in favour of Remus being our explorer for our first find, say aye," Sirius announced. 

"Aye," Peter said immediately. 

"Aye," James added, adjusting his grip on the portrait and getting ready to pull. 

"Aye." Sirius finished. He looked at Remus. "It's decided. Besides, you have long legs and you're the skinniest, it'll be easier for you than for us."

"I'm not _that_ skinny," Remus muttered. 

"You're three sizes smaller than James and I, and five smaller than Peter." Sirius deadpanned. Remus sighed.

At least if he didn't have the upper body strength to get up to the passageway, if there even _was_ one, he could still say he found it. 

"Okay, I'll do it." He said.

Sirius grinned and counted down from three. When he reached one, they managed to get the portrait out of the way.

It wasn't as heavy as they'd expected, but it was certainly made easier between four of them.

Remus slid in between the gap, using the light from the nearby sconce on the wall to find the rest of the gaps in the stones.

It took no more than thirty seconds for him to get used to a rhythm of finding them and pulling himself up before he finally reached an entrance.

It was a few rows of stone above his head, and the portrait had been compressing the air downwards, leaving tendrils to escape along the way.

Remus managed to drag himself into it and grinned. _He'd done it_. 

" _Lumos_!" Remus said firmly.

His wand tip lit up and he saw the expanse of a tunnel leading straight ahead. The breeze was stronger up here, no longer soft and light, but steadier. 

"Well?!" James called. "Is it a secret passageway?"

"Yeah! Yeah, it is!" 

"Remus, you're a genius! Peter, you go up next! James and I will hold the portrait. Remus, help Pete up when he gets to the top." Remus kept his wand lit and poked his head out of the entrance, hand waiting for Peter to grasp. 

He took a little longer than Remus had, but eventually, he tumbled into the tunnel beside Remus, grinning as widely as Remus was and with rosy cheeks, blue eyes lit up with excitement. 

"Are all four of us coming up? Who's going to hold the portrait?" Remus asked. 

"Isn't there something to prop it open up there? Usually, higher up passages covered by portraits have them for this exact reason." James explained.

Remus peered along both walls, searching for _anything,_ when finally he saw the metal rod lying flat against the left-hand side of the wall.

He put his wand on the floor of the tunnel and used the now free hand to steady himself grabbed ahold of it, managing to slide it under a groove along one side of the back of the portrait. 

After that, he called down to James and Sirius, and the two of them made it look too easy to get into the tunnel, scaling the wall with ease, and they returned the portrait back to its original state, finally addressing the passageway they'd found.

Remus' wand was now firmly grasped in his hand, and all four had now lit _Lumos_ , lighting the way ahead of them. 

Thankfully, they were small enough that they were able to stand, with plenty of room between them and the ceiling, and they gradually made their way past the identical walls of stone.

They walked in silence for a few moments, turning right at one point and carrying on with a straight line. 

"Where do you think it leads?" Sirius asked as they took another right and walked down a small flight of three steps.

"I don't know, but you probably shouldn't talk so loud," Remus said absently. He was currently at the back of the group, having insisted that everyone else go in front of him out of pure politeness. "It echoes in here, and we could scare the hell out of some random kids if it runs along corridors."

"I think it leads to the Hospital Wing," Peter said from the front of the group. 

"What makes you say that?" 

"It's not too far from here, and there's a bit of light ahead." 

"Slow it down, Pete. We don't know what's covering it yet." James said, his voice hushed.

Peter slowed and stopped, trying to get a better look at whatever was covering the entrance, which was only ten feet away.

Light spilt in from the right-hand side every now and then, from slightly lower down near their feet. Remus really hoped that it wasn't a tight exit.

Sirius slinked past Peter and then yelled out, suddenly slipping and tumbling down a small incline just past where Peter had stopped.

None of them had thought to check _exactly_ how the exit worked, what the ground was like, and they peered down now as Sirius burst into a corridor and landed hard on the stone floor.

Whatever was covering the exit slid back into place, and James, Peter and Remus hurried carefully down the incline, reaching out and pushing what they now realised was a tapestry aside. 

"You alright, Sirius?" James whispered. 

"Yeah, hunky-dory, thanks," Sirius grumbled, standing and brushing his robes off. "Are you lot coming down then, or what?" 

James extinguished his light and was the first to drop down, giving Peter a chance to hold the tapestry aside for him as he crouched and leaned out, letting gravity guide him, once again making it look effortless. Peter glanced at Remus, looking scared. 

"It's quite high." He said softly. 

"It's lower down than the entrance was, and you smashed that." Remus offered. "James and Sirius are down there to make sure you don't hurt yourself. You'll be okay." 

"Come on, Pete! You've got this!" James encouraged. 

"We're here to help you, we won't let you get hurt," Sirius said.

Peter let his light die, sat at the edge of the exit and carefully edged himself down into the corridor, where James and Sirius were standing on either side of the tapestry, ready to grab him and keep him steady. 

"You okay?" Remus asked. Peter looked up at him and nodded, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. 

"Your turn, Remus," Sirius said. 

Remus muttered _Nox_ and tucked his wand away, bracing a hand on the floor and jumping down, crouching slightly as he landed and straightening a moment later when he was sure his legs wouldn't betray him. 

The four of them stepped out from behind the tapestry and took in their surroundings. It didn't look anything like the corridors they'd been through before. 

"I don't think it led to the Hospital Wing, Pete," Sirius said, frowning. 

"Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin and Black," A voice called. They looked at each other, matching looks of guilt and fear written into their features, realising that there was no way of getting out of this. They turned, and saw McGonnagall standing in the middle of the corridor, looking at them with an unimpressed gaze. "Follow me." Was all she said. 

She turned on her heel and led the way further down the corridor, leaving the four first-years to race after her in an effort to keep up, desperate to not get told off for anything else yet. 


	4. 1971 - The Times Will Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It would've been pointless anyway, Remus thought. All of them have had months and years surrounded by magic at every waking moment, they've been raised from birth knowing that they'd have it at their fingertips eventually, and they've never had to worry that they would have their magic limited by a lack of education for something they couldn't control.

September 4th 1971 - Transfiguration classroom

"Your detention is over, boys," McGonnagall said, looking up from her marking at the front of the room. "I hope this is the first of very few detentions you four will ever serve. And I hope that you will refrain from poking around antique tapestries again. You're dismissed." 

They packed their ink and quills back into their bags, stretching and yawning as they got worked feeling into their fingers again. 

Two hours of writing extra information on the history of Transfiguration to add to their essays due in the following week had taken its toll. 

"Night, Professor," James called over his shoulder as he turned to lead the group out. 

"Goodnight, boys," McGonnagall responded. "Mr Lupin, if you would stay behind for just a moment, please?" Remus' shoulders slumped, knowing what was to come, and jerked his head towards the door when his friends looked at him in confusion. They reluctantly left, and Remus turned back and walked over to McGonnagall's desk. 

"I don't think it's a good idea to be having this conversation now, Professor," Remus said quietly. "The others will be outside listening."

"I'm well aware. Most students are quite nosey in their first and second years." 

"They're not nosey, they ... they just want to know that nothing's wrong." Remus defended. McGonnagall smiled and withdrew her wand from a pocket in her robes, pointing it towards the door. 

"I'm glad you see the good in them. Merlin knows that Mr Black especially will appreciate that." She said. "However, I _have_ put up a Silencing Charm, so we will be more than capable of having a private discussion." Remus relaxed slightly. 

"If this is about tomorrow night, then I want you to know that my parents and I have a very strict routine, and I won't be a danger to anyone as long as the proper protections are in place. I've never scratched or bitten anyone other than myself, and I'll be in lessons on Monday morning as if nothing ever happened." Remus said in a rush. 

"I've already spoken to your father about it, don't worry yourself. I wholeheartedly believe that you're only a danger for a few hours a month, and it's completely out of your control. From what the staff have said so far, all of them are pleasantly surprised that _you_ are the student with lycanthropy because of how different you are from the stereotype. They weren't expecting you."

"All of them know?" Remus asked. McGonnagall nodded. "There's a stereotype of people like me?"

"Many people believe that those with lycanthropy are out of touch with their human selves. You're not like that. You've already shown that you're just like any other eleven-year-old that walks through our doors." McGonnagall explained.

Remus nodded. He was trying hard not to let the feeling of McGonnagall's praise overwhelm him. 

The staff were already beginning to trust that he was _normal_? He hadn't even been trying to change anyone's mind, he just wanted to keep his head down and stay out of most people's way. 

"What do I do tomorrow night, Professor? No one's spoken to me about the plan for my transformation." Remus asked. 

"Meet Madame Pomfrey down at the Hospital Wing straight after dinner. She'll do a routine check beforehand to make sure that you have no everyday injuries that will make it more uncomfortable than it needs to be. She'll lead you down to the Whomping Willow, which Professor Dumbledore had installed not long after you got your acceptance letter." 

Remus was shocked for a moment, staring at his professor, unable to do much more than breathe.

Something about the idea of people taking such care with him, making sure his comfort came first rather than prioritising everyone else's safety sat strangely with him, and he wasn't quite used to it.

His parents cared, he knew they did, but they were more focused on making sure that he didn't draw anyone's attention, that no one knew he was a werewolf, that no one else was put at risk, not on whether _he_ was safe.

"Mr Lupin? Are you okay?" McGonnagall asked gently. 

"Y-yes," Remus said, voice cracking slightly. "Sorry, Professor, I was just a little shocked." 

"It's regrettable that it's taken this long for a werewolf to finally be able to attend Hogwarts. Maybe if others bitten in childhood had had the chance, they would be less inclined to bite children as adults. Many of those with your condition are rightfully bitter and angry, but the times _will_ change. You belong here. I want you to know that." McGonnagall assured, leaning forward and looking at Remus intently. 

Remus felt his face light up. "Thanks, Professor. That means a lot. I promise I'll work really hard to show that. I won't let any of you down." 

"I know you won't," McGonnagall replied. "Now go on, don't keep your friends waiting." 

Remus hurried from the Transfiguration classroom to find his friends standing by the door. They jumped back, trying to act like they hadn't been listening in. 

"What happened?" Peter asked. 

"There was a Silencing Charm up, we couldn't hear anything," James added. Remus closed the door behind him and took off walking towards the Gryffindor Tower. 

"McGonnagall just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being peer pressured into looking for treasure maps on the back of tapestries." Remus lied. "Good lie, by the way, Pete." 

"Still sucks that we had to serve a detention for it on a Saturday night," Sirius complained. "Why she didn't just give it when she caught us last night, I don't know." 

"Probably to stop us from doing it again tonight," James suggested. "Maybe she thinks we won't go wandering around the nights before we have lessons." 

Sirius scoffed. "Please, as if lessons are going to stop us from exploring. We may as well have a bit of fun while we're here. School's not all about books and lessons."

"I'm pretty sure that _is_ what we're at school for." Peter frowned. "We _are_ here to learn, Sirius." 

"What are they going to teach us that we don't already know?!" Sirius asked. 

"How to use our magic?" Remus laughed. 

"Be serious, Remus," Sirius responded. Now it was Remus' time to frown. 

"I am." He said. 

Sirius stopped and looked at Remus. "What do you mean, you don't know how to use your magic? Didn't your tutor teach you _anything_?" 

"My _what_?" 

"Your tutor," Sirius said. "You know, they come to your house, bring out boring books and drone on about what magic is. They test you on spells and what they do, the differences between hexes, jinxes and curses, how to cast things right every time."

"I've never had a tutor," Remus said. 

_Should_ he have had one? It seemed like a perfectly normal thing to Sirius, and it _did_ sound useful. Was Remus now at a disadvantage because he'd never had one? Were there things he would never catch up on now, that he was years behind in, all because his parents had never hired a tutor for him?

"Have _you_?" Remus asked James and Peter. 

"I've had one for a few months, just to prepare me for school," James admitted. 

"I had one from my tenth birthday to my eleventh," Peter said. "My parents thought it would be good to get a headstart on what we'd be learning." 

"Do you really not have a tutor?" Sirius asked. "I've had one since I was a toddler." 

Remus felt his face warm up and looked down at his feet in embarrassment. "It doesn't matter." He muttered, turning around and speeding back towards the Tower.

He ignored his friends as they tried to keep up with him, and when they got back to their dormitory, Remus closed the curtains around his bed and got changed behind them, burrowing under his duvets with his back to the room and pretending to be asleep whenever his friends tried to check on him. 

~

September 5th 1971 - The Great Hall

Remus read over his letter one last time, wondering if he was being too vague or too evasive. 

_Dad,_

_Everything's going well so far. It's a lot to get used to, and the castle is so confusing sometimes. We're getting good at navigating the staircases, and the lessons aren't so hard yet._

_Did McGonnagall send you a letter to let you know what house I got into? She said that all the staff are surprised that_ I'm _the one with my condition and that I'm already changing their minds about people like me. I didn't even mean to, I don't know what I was doing right, but it was clearly something._

_The Black that was starting Hogwarts this year, Sirius, he didn't get Slytherin. He got Gryffindor, too. I'm in the same dormitory as him and two other boys, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew. Their parents work in the Ministry, maybe you know them?_

_They're all really nice, but they've_ _all had tutors before they started school. Should I have had one, too? Why didn't I? Is it going to be harder for me to do well now?_

_There's a plan for Sunday, and I'll ask for help if I need it._

_Give my love to Mum,_

_Remus_

He had been trying his hardest to keep himself in check all day, staying quiet for the most part and only speaking when spoken to. 

The full moons often made him more tired and a little snappy, and the last thing he wanted was to be unkind to such fragile new friendships.

Things had felt different since he and his friends had served their detention the night before. James, Sirius and Peter all had a headstart, they'd all had someone there to prepare them for what was to come, while Remus had been sat at the kitchen table most days, staring out the window and just praying that whatever forces for good were working in his favour didn't decide to turn against him.

He'd spent months sick with worry that an owl would come to say there'd been a mistake, that accommodations couldn't be made and that Remus' chance to be a normal wizard was gone forever. 

He hadn't gotten his books until he and his parents had visited Diagon Alley on the day Remus was due to arrive at Hogwarts, and then he'd spent the entire train journey getting to know James, Sirius and Peter, so there had been very little opportunity for him to actually read ahead. 

_It would've been pointless anyway_ , Remus thought. _All of them have had months and years surrounded by magic at every waking moment, they've been raised from birth knowing that they'd have it at their fingertips eventually, and they've never had to worry that they would have their magic limited by a lack of education for something they couldn't control._

When Remus walked down to dinner, he did it alone, fifteen minutes after his friends had left.

He found them at the Gryffindor table, chattering away to some of the older students enthusiastically.

They spotted Remus almost immediately and wave him over, calling his name and causing more than just one stranger from another table to stare at him.

He kept his head down as he hurried to slot himself in the empty space his friends had cleared for him between Peter and Sirius. James was nowhere to be found. 

"Thank Merlin you're here, we were worried!" Peter said. 

"Why didn't you respond before we left the dormitory?" Sirius asked. 

"I was really knackered, so I was getting some more sleep. That's why my bedcurtains were closed." Remus lied.

He forced himself not to cringe away from it, not to give himself away. _The lies will get easier, but for now, just focus on making them believable_. 

The others seemed to accept it, and they pushed a plate of food towards him, piled high with roast chicken and peas and broccoli and mashed potatoes and sweetcorn and gravy, all the things Remus liked. He tried to fight the warm glow in his chest as he took it all in.

He thanked them and ate slowly. Tonight, he was more susceptible to throwing up any food he ate, and he had to make sure he ate a lot. The transformation took a lot out of him, and he needed all the strength and energy he could get. 

"Psst, Remus," Remus looked to Sirius, sat on his left. He was clearly fighting the urge to grin. "Look who just walked in." 

Remus' eyes slid over towards the doors of the Hall and saw the familiar mop of black hair making a beeline for the Slytherin table. 

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Sirius?" Remus asked quietly.

"We can't back out now!" Sirius whispered, frowning. He pulled something out of his pocket and Remus saw a ball the size of James' palm, loosely resembling a dungbomb. "James has a matching one. This is just for protection in case any of the other Slytherin think it's us and give us trouble after dinner." 

"Where _is_ James?" 

"Tell you later." Sirius dismissed. "Pay attention, it should be happening any second now." 

Remus looked back to the Slytherin table just in time to a cloud of Bulbadox powder explode over the Slytherin table, covering the students in the spaces nearby Snape as well. 

Chaos erupted as the students leapt back, brushing at the powder and trying to get as much of it away from their skin as possible. Boils spread across some of the food and students' hands, wrists, necks and faces, and soon they began to cry out as the irritation set in and they fought the urge to scratch. 

Snape had taken most of the damage, with plenty of boils spreading across his nose and cheeks, and thick ones sprouting from his hands. 

Laughter was seeping through the room as they noticed what was happening, and most of the ruckus was coming from the Gryffindor table, who were jeering from the opposite end of the room to the Slytherins. 

Remus couldn't help but grin widely at the sight, looking at Sirius and Peter and feeling slightly better now. This had been _their_ doing.

A Hall full of laughter and joy, and a lesson taught to some bullies.

Even those that had been unfortunate enough to be sat beside Snape were faces that Remus recognised as other first years that were crude and snide in lessons, tight-lipped and unkind towards anyone who wasn't a Slytherin. 

When Dumbledore finally managed to capture everyone's attention, voice booming over the noise, Remus felt a slight trickle of dread settle in his stomach. "Don't look so guilty, Remus." Sirius hissed.

Remus drank some of his pumpkin juice, trying to calm himself down as Dumbledore began instructing the Slytherins that had been affected by the Bulbadox powder to go off to Madame Pomfrey. 

"If anyone would like to come forward about this little ... _show,_ then I'm sure either your Prefects, your heads of house, or myself will be more than happy to talk to you about it," Dumbledore said. "I have a sneaking suspicion more than one person organised this, so please do not hesitate to come forward if you know anything. Now, I suggest everyone goes back to their common rooms for the evening, and please try to keep yourselves out of trouble. Goodnight, everyone." 

People began to rise from their seats, and when the hordes of people swarmed through to the corridor of the Great Hall, Remus finally plucked up the courage to drop into the conversation that he wasn't feeling well. 

"I'm going to see Madame Pomfrey." He said. 

"What? Why?" Sirius asked in alarm, head snapping towards Remus. 

"I feel a bit ill. Maybe it's a stomach bug. I don't know, but maybe she has something to help." 

"Do you want us to walk you there?" Peter asked. 

"No, I'll be fine. Thanks, though." Remus replied. 

"Okay ... well, we'll see you back at the dorm, then?" Sirius asked. 

"Uh, yeah. See you there." Remus said, splitting off from the others and taking one of the quieter corridors towards the Hospital Wing. 

~

"Are you sure everything's okay?" Madame Pomfrey asked. 

Remus nodded. He was cross-legged on one of the beds in the Hospital Wing, a Silencing Charm set up around it as Madame Pomfrey checked him over.

She was rushed off her feet with all the students that had been affected by the boils and had already sped off to deal with some of the larger ones four times.

"Right, shirt off, Mr Lupin."

"Why?" Remus asked, suddenly fearful. 

"Your torso isn't immune to scratches or bruises, you know." She chuckled. "I've checked over your forearms already, but I don't want you to hurt yourself any more than absolutely necessary. There's nothing to be ashamed of. You're only eleven, no one is expecting you to be big and strong just yet." 

"It's not that, I just ..." Remus trailed off. "I have a lot of scars." 

"That's to be expected." Madame Pomfrey said. "I want to help. There might be something I can do to reduce them if that's something you want?" 

Remus hesitated before he took his tie off and started unbuttoning his shirt, shucking off the material when it was finished and averting his eyes when his skin was uncovered. 

"Stand up for me?" Madame Pomfrey asked gently. Remus did so and let her check his back as well. "Oh, Merlin, this one's a bad one." She said. 

"The one on my hip?" Remus asked. He knew exactly which one it was, stretching from the front of his right hip and carrying round to his back. 

"It's not just on your hip, dear, it nearly reaches your spine. How long have you had it?"

Remus turned around and shrugged. "Since my first full moon, I suppose. I don't remember ever waking up without it, it's one of the oldest ones I have. The only one that came before it was this one." He tapped the bite mark just below his collarbone.

Madame Pomfrey was looking at him with nothing but sadness in her eyes and Remus couldn't help but squirm, reaching for his shirt again. 

She clearly hadn't seen anything to heal, otherwise, she would've sorted it by now, and he hurried to sort his buttons out.

"Don't be sad about it," Remus said softly, looking up at her. "It's just the way it is, and being sad or upset about it won't fix it." 

"That's Lyall talking, not Remus." Madame Pomfrey said frustratedly. "You shouldn't listen to everything your father says. He's not half as wise as he thinks he is most of the time." 

"He's the smartest person I know." Remus defended. 

"It's not the same as being wise." She replied. "I know you think the world of your father, but sometimes he makes mistakes. And sometimes he gets so caught up in being logical about everything that he forgets he's human. Don't let his negativity plague you, too, Remus. You're still a child, and being old beyond your years isn't always a good thing." 

Remus was silent at that and Madame Pomfrey sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, let's go down to the Willow." She said encouragingly.

Remus followed her as she led the way out of the castle, taking shortcuts and quieter routes through the corridors to avoid any students wandering around before curfew. 

The Whomping Willow was huge, and Remus saw McGonnagall waiting for them just in front of it.

Before Remus or Madame Pomfrey could greet her, she shifted into a cat, making Remus cry out in shock, and dodged between branches, touching a knot on the trunk and then waiting patiently as the branches froze. 

"Don't just stand there and stare, Remus!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed.

Remus shook himself, still stuck in a stupor and only just realising that Madame Pomfrey had begun to walk towards an entrance at the base of the tree. He followed and tried not to jump out of his skin when McGonnagall shifted back into a human and entered the tree behind him. 

~

"Remus, dear." Remus could hear someone's voice, but it was hazy and distant, and he had to strain to make sense of what it was saying. "Remus, wake up." 

Remus whimpered softly and tried to turn away from the voice, now becoming louder and more painful to him.

His senses were always on overdrive surrounding the full moon. Someone's hands gently guided him back into its previous position and he weakly pushed at them, wanting everything to just _stop_ so that he could sleep. 

"Can you open your eyes for me, dear?" The voice came again. 

" _Please, don't_." Remus pleaded hoarsely. 

"I just want to make sure that you're okay, that's all." 

Remus fought against his exhausted body to open his eyes, but managed to raise his hand slowly to shield them from the sunlight streaming in from the windows.

He could make out the shape of Madame Pomfrey kneeling beside him, and two figures behind her. 

"There we go. Morning, dear." Madame Pomfrey encouraged. "How're you feeling?"

"Awful," Remus replied, his voice croaking and cracking and weak. 

"What hurts? I've done my best with the scratches, they're already healing up nicely, but I need to know if there's anything else that needs attention." 

"I have a migraine coming on and my right shoulder feels wrong." 

"Can you sit up for me?" Madame Pomfrey guided him as he struggled to sit up and tutted. "This may sting a little. Look away."

Remus looked in the opposite direction and felt Madame Pomfrey quickly and carefully brace her hands against his shoulder and do some kind of manoeuvre.

Remus cried out in pain as he felt his shoulder click back into place and clapped a hand over his mouth, squeezing his eyes closed as tears threatened to spill.

His whole body started shaking, and he could now feel the fatigue slowly wearing away, feel the muscles in his legs ache and the migraine behind his eyes pulse. 

"It's not good for him to be questioned now." He heard Madame Pomfrey murmuring to someone. "Come on, put these on and we'll go to somewhere a bit comfier."

Madame Pomfrey handed him some oversized clothes to change into as she ushered out the two figures that Remus had seen before and now realised were McGonnagall and Dumbledore. 

Remus staggered out of the room he'd woken up in once he was finished, a loose blanket that Madame Pomfrey had already left out for him the night before wrapped around his shoulders and the shoes he'd been wearing left untied on his feet. 

Together, they traipsed back to the castle, up to the Hospital Wing, and Remus collapsed onto a bed as soon as he could, letting his body slip away into unconsciousness immediately, with no energy to even crawl under the covers. 


	5. 1971 - Have A Little Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have a little faith, Remus!" James rolled his eyes. "This is going to cement our places as kings of this school, lads, I can feel it!"

September 6th 1971 - The Hospital Wing 

As soon as Remus woke up, he leaned over the side of the bed, barely having the chance to grab the bin beside his bed before he was hurling into it. It took a few seconds for it to stop, but when it did, Remus was shaking all over, and all he wanted was to curl up in bed all day and never move. 

Unfortunately, the universe had it in for him, and as he returned to the comfort of the bed beneath him, someone spoke and had to ruin his already rough morning. 

"Merlin, Remus, you really weren't kidding when you said you weren't feeling well." 

Remus groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. "Please, not today, Sirius. I feel like I've been beaten up by a hippogriff, the last thing I need right now is one of my dormmates chatting my ear off." 

"I only wanted to make sure you were okay," Sirius replied defensively. 

"Well, you've seen me, and I'm clearly not okay," Remus said.

"Why are you so irritable all of a sudden? Is it because of the tutor thing? I'm sorry I said anything, I didn't realise it was a big deal." 

"It's fine." Remus dismissed. "I don't care, really. Some people get tutors, some don't. It's fine." 

"You're right, it _is_ fine. Or, it will be." Sirius said. 

"What are you going on about?" Remus asked. 

"James, Peter and I have universally decided that _we'll_ be your tutors!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus winced and closed his eyes. Even the lights in the Hospital Wing were just a bit too bright right now, and the added complication of having Sirius' excitement nearby was quickly sending him into a mentally distressed state. 

"Where _are_ James and Peter? I'm guessing they aren't here either? It would be a lot louder otherwise." Remus said. "And how did James dump the Bulbadox powder without anyone seeing?" 

"James has an Invisibility Cloak. His dad gave it to him, it's passed down in their family from generation to generation. He and Peter are down at breakfast," Sirius said. Remus could almost imagine the way the other boy shrugged his shoulders as he spoke. "I went with them for a little while. I brought you some toast and some sausages. I didn't know what you'd prefer." 

Remus slowly pushed himself into a sitting position and finally looked at Sirius for the first time. The boy was holding some toast and sausages in two handfuls of napkins in his lap. 

"I asked Madame Pomfrey to put a heating charm over them, so they're still nice and warm," Sirius added. 

Remus managed a smile and held his hands out. Sirius beamed and handed them over. "Thanks, Sirius, I really appreciate it." He said, swallowing a bite of toast before he spoke. He hadn't realised how hungry he was until he finally got something in his stomach. 

"No worries, mate," Sirius said. 

"Mr Lupin, you're awake!" Madame Pomfrey said, a relieved note in her voice as she pulled back the curtain. "Mr Black, I told you to put the food on the bedside table and head back down to the Great Hall. That was ten minutes ago." She tutted. 

"I was just checking on him, I thought seeing a friendly face would be nice," Sirius replied. "I represent James and Peter as well. We're all friends."

"Well, you've shown your face on behalf of you and your friends, so I suggest you run along back to breakfast, make sure you get enough to eat before your lessons." 

"Madame Pomfrey, where's my uniform?" Remus asked. "I don't want to be late-"

"Don't even finish that sentence, Mr Lupin." Madame Pomfrey said. "You're staying here for the rest of the day, I've already gotten the all-clear from your head of house. You need to rest, and I won't hear anything else about it. Run along, Mr Black, you and your friends can come back at the end of the day if Mr Lupin is feeling better." 

Sirius grabbed his bag, smiled at Remus and left. Remus finished the last mouthful of his breakfast and put the napkins to one side, letting Madame Pomfrey hand over some potions to drink. 

~

September 28th 1971 - The Marauder's Dormitory

James burst into the dormitory, Sirius hot on his heels, closing the door behind them with matching devilish grins spreading across their faces as they looked at Remus and Peter, who were doing their Charms homework. 

Thankfully, no one had pried on Remus' irritability after their first detention, and things had gone smoothly ever since, though Remus _had_ been trying hard to take his father's advice and be careful around these boys that he didn't know. 

It was proving to be difficult, though. 

James, Peter and Sirius had all been chucking around random points of information during their late-night chats in the dormitory, casually talking about things that should only really come up in lessons, and Remus knew that they were trying their hardest to be inconspicuous about the way they caught Remus up on the information that they'd known for a while. 

He hated to admit it, but he really _was_ grateful for them and all they were doing to make him feel better about the whole situation.

"Oh no, what are you two planning?" Peter asked. 

"Sirius and I have thought of the thing that will make us famous at Hogwarts," James said. 

"Are you going to tell us what that thing is?" Remus asked. 

"We will," Sirius confirmed. "But all in good time, Mr Lupin." 

"First of all, we must do some planning," James added. 

"How can we plan for something when half of us don't even know whats going on?" Peter frowned, peering at the other two and glancing over to Remus now and then, checking to make sure that he wasn't the only one confused about what was going on. 

"We need a list of secret passageways, which you don't need to know anything about the plan to be able to do," Sirius said. 

"Well, that's simple," Remus replied. He pulled out a scrap of parchment paper, dipped his quill in some ink and scrawled out the words, ' _Fifth-floor reading man portrait - leads to staff wing_ ,' and held it up. "There, now what's the planning all about?"

"We need more than that, Remus!" James said. "Which is why we're going out and about tonight. We've let our hunting for secret passageways fizzle out in favour of doing bloody _homework_! Come on, lads, let's go out for a little while."

"We got caught last time!" Peter pointed out. 

"Ah, but that was the passageway going into the staff wing." Sirius countered. 

"How do we know there aren't more that end up there?" Remus asked. "For all we know, there are loads that go to the staff wing, and if we find any more, then the teachers will know what we're up to. I'm not risking my neck for secret passageways." 

"Don't be dramatic, Remus, what more are they going to do than deduct house points or give us detentions?!" James exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Besides, we _need_ you." 

"No, you don't," Remus replied simply. 

"You found our first one! You have a knack for this!"

"I got lucky." 

"Remus, _please_ ," Sirius said. "It'll be fun, and we'll tell you both the plan once we've found another one."

"Or if it gets to the end of the first week of October and we can't hold it off any longer," James said. 

"Whichever comes first." Sirius agreed. 

Remus looked between them both, still uncertain. He glanced at Peter, who was clearly feeling the same and was torn between decisions. Remus wouldn't be the one to decide on Peter's behalf.

"Peter, do you want to go searching?" He asked. Peter's lips flattened into a thin, tight line and the crease between his brows furrowed. There was silence for a few seconds before he responded. 

"Yeah, go on. I'll risk it." He said. "It was actually pretty fun last time." 

James and Sirius grinned at each other, not even bothering to hide the joy they felt that they now only had to worry about one more person to convince. "You're a gem, Pete, we knew you'd want to come tonight," James said. He looked to Remus again, eyes bright with hope. 

"I'll come," Remus said before either James or Sirius could take a breath to talk. "But only if you swear you'll tell us the plan regardless of what the outcome is tonight. No hiding it until the first week of October." 

James and Sirius pondered for a moment, sparing no glances at each other as they ultimately reached teh same conclusion. Remus was almost jealous of the way they knew each other so well so quickly. 

"Agreed." They both said. Remus put his homework to one side, got his shoes on, knowing that Peter was doing the same from the other side of the room, and the four of them took to the castle corridors. 

~

By the time they got back to the dormitory, Remus was dragging his feet, his eyes drooping. The four of them had had a hard time avoiding teachers as they roamed the castle running errands, finishing up in their offices and carrying work back to their rooms in the staff wing. 

It was almost ten in the evening by now, and the Prefects had been on the prowl for the last hour, making searching for secret passageways even harder. 

But they _had_ found more. Now that they'd found one, they knew to check the random tapestries, the out of place portraits, the spots that no one would think to look. 

And now they'd found four more to add to the list. Peter had found two of them, Remus had found one, and James had found the other. Sirius was miffed that he was the only one of them to have not uncovered one yet, but his neat handwriting had been an asset to their list of passageways. It was still pitifully small, but it was a start. 

The two that Peter had found were both in and around the dungeons. One led from an offshoot corridor near the Great Hall to the heart of the kitchens, presumably an extra place for the house elves to move around in. The other led from the corridor outside the kitchens up to the corridor where Filch's office was. 

Remus' led from a corridor near the Astronomy Tower down to a corridor that the four of them had never seen before, and James' was much the same, another random corridor and passage on the third floor. 

"Right, your turn." Remus yawned, collapsing onto his bed. It was all he could do to muster the energy to speak. 

"James and I were thinking of a prank on Halloween. Something that will make people recognise us." Sirius said. 

"What is it with you two and being remembered?" Peter asked, rubbing at his eyes. 

"What's the point in just working? We're still kids, just because we can learn magic now doesn't mean that we can't still have fun." James replied. "Sirius was the one to come up with the idea. He thought we could do something like we did to Snape, but on a larger scale. Maybe something to all the students during the Halloween feast." 

"Like what?" Remus asked. "I don't think Pete has a stash of Bulbadox powder big enough for the whole Hall."

"No, nothing like that, it's too much fuss for so little reward. The Bulbadox powder was a revenge tactic, nothing more," James dismissed. "I was thinking something like-"

"Replacing the pumpkin juice with Horklump juice?" Peter suggested. 

"Fantastic idea!" Sirius grinned madly. 

"You're on a roll at the minute, Pete!" James said. "It should be fairly easy to get, Slughorn has loads in the potions storecupboard." 

"But Horklump juice is red. Pumpkin juice looks like apple juice." Remus pointed out. 

"We could always talk to Slughorn about staining or dyeing it for us," Peter suggested. 

"That'll look suspicious, won't it?" Sirius asked. "What do we tell him when he asks what it's for?" 

"I don't know, we'll say it's for an experiment or something!" James exclaimed. "Point is, it should be a piece of cake." 

"When do we start?" Remus asked. " _Where_ do we start? How does all the food and drink get up to the Great Hall in the first place?"

"It's house-elf magic," James said. "I suppose we could always sneak down there, see where they put the pumpkin juice and replace it?" 

"That works." Sirius shrugged. "We should get started on gathering supplies. Maybe we could ask someone in an older year to do a duplication spell on the Horklump juice so that Slughorn doesn't think people are stealing from the storeroom. We'll take small amounts over the next two weeks, see how much we have, then start dyeing it and figure out a way to get it into the kitchens before the Halloween feast." 

"If this fails, it's on you three," Peter said uncertainly. 

"Let's face it, I'll be the first out of there if anyone figures it out. I've got the knack for secret passageways. I'll probably find more running from the teachers," Remus replied. "I hope you enjoy detentions." 

"Have a little faith, Remus!" James rolled his eyes. "This is going to cement our places as kings of this school, lads, I can feel it!" 


	6. 1971 - The Next Step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Remus, wait," Sirius whispered. He stopped, and Remus let go of him. Sirius was looking at a half-length mirror hanging against the wall. It was old and clearly polished regularly by Filch, but still out of place."Look at this." 

October 13th 1971 - Potions storeroom

"Pete, shut _up_!" Sirius hissed. 

"I'm sorry, I'm trying!" Peter whispered, trying to keep the bottles of Horklump juice hidden in his robes safely tucked away without them clinking together noisily. "The bottles are all so tiny, I can't help it!"

"Take some out and hold them," Remus suggested. 

"I'm scared to drop them," Peter replied. 

"It's okay, I'll take a couple of them, if you want," Remus assured.

He had three small vials in each pocket already, and his ears picked up on every single time that they gently fell against each other in his pockets. Peter had managed to find more vials than he had, and Sirius and James had been keeping watch on either side of the corridor. 

The potions storeroom was untidy and disorganised, and it had taken ten minutes for them to find enough for their first venture to the cupboard. With any luck, the depleted stock over the next weeks would force Slughorn to organise things a bit better. 

"Alright, I think we've got enough for tonight," Remus said over his shoulder as Peter gave him a few more vials. He tucked them into various pockets inside his robes or in his trousers.

"Come on, then, back under the cloak!" James replied. Sirius suddenly appeared, holding a part of the cloak up as Peter and Remus hurried to hide underneath the fabric. "We're lucky no one's come along yet. Let's get back to the dormitory." 

It was a long and difficult trek back to the dormitory, since they stopped at every single sound they heard in case it was a teacher or Prefect, and it was hard to work out their way around the corridors without giving the portraits a fright. When they eventually _did_ get back to the dormitory, Remus and Peter put the vials of Horklump juice on Remus' bed, which was closest to the door, and counted them up. 

"Okay, fifteen, that's not too bad for our first trip, but we'll need more. The vials are _tiny_ ," Sirius said, scratching his head. 

"I reckon two or three more trips and we'll have enough," James said. 

"Are you still sure about this idea?" Remus asked. "We can always think of something else." 

"No, we're committed to it now, this is the best shot we've got with so little time," James said. "Besides, we've already planned everything else out. We just need somewhere to stash them." 

Remus looked over the gathered vials, thinking of where they could be hidden. "I have some space in my trunk?" He suggested. 

James' face lit up and Remus gently scooped up the vials into his pockets, transferring them into the bottom of his trunk, burying them underneath his clothes. 

"Right then, lads, it's time to plan the next step." Sirius grinned. 

~

October 18th 1971 - The Fourth Floor

"Keep going!" Remus gasped, grabbing hold of Sirius and Peter's shoulders and half leading them, half pushing them along the corridor. 

"I have a stitch!" Sirius panted, stopping suddenly and gulping down air as he leaned over, hands on his knees. Remus stopped as well, looking over his shoulder and frowning. 

"Don't just stop, you three!" James hissed. He was the one leading them through the maze of corridors, and was further ahead of them, now staring at what was going on as he heard the footsteps stop behind him. 

Remus looked between Peter - looking at Sirius worriedly from less than ten feet ahead of them - and James and Sirius. Sirius could go on like this, he was struggling too much. But they couldn't just leave him either. Filch would catch him for certain.

He shouldn't have been anywhere near his office when they'd managed to break in, and yet he'd somehow shown up out of nowhere. James and Sirius had once again kept watch as Peter and Remus rifled through drawers. They'd been looking for dung bombs that they'd seen be confiscated from some fourth years either on in the day.

They'd planned their raid on Filch's office for days, wanting to make sure that there was no possible way they could be discovered, _and_ they'd been using the Invisibility Cloak.

But Filch had come back earlier than expected from dealing with Peeves - who the four of them had convinced to start disrupting portraits on the seventh floor to keep Filch occupied - and now they were being pursued around the castle by the caretaker and his cat. 

They'd had to wait for Filch to scurry off in one direction once he realised that his office had been broken into and then whip the cloak off so they could sprint the opposite way.

Navigating the castle while they were running away from a grumpy old git and his equally grumpy cat was proving far more difficult than it was in theory.

Remus focused on his surroundings once again, and then something possessed him to say what he did. "You two go ahead," He said, looking to James and Peter. 

" _What_?!" Peter exclaimed. 

"You'll get caught!" James said. 

"I'll take this detention, don't worry about it." Sirius groaned, clutching his stomach. Remus frowned again. Something was wrong. _Seriously_ wrong, no pun intended. 

"Go ahead, we'll meet up with you at the dormitory," Remus said, more firm this time. 

"Remus-"

"Shut up, Sirius." Remus snapped. " _Go,_ we haven't got time to argue."

"Bloody hell, _fine_! See you back at the dorm. Come on, Pete, you've had a chance to catch your breath, don't stop now until we're back at the tower." James said.

He waited for Peter to scurry closer before taking off in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower. Remus turned back to Sirius, took a few steps towards him, grabbed his arm and gently tugged him to the nearby junction in the corridor.

He turned left, feeling nothing but panic as he realised it just more flat stones and tall walls covered in portraits with no classrooms to duck into. They hurried along the corridor, listening intently for any sign of Mrs Norris or Filch. 

"Remus, wait," Sirius whispered. He stopped, and Remus let go of him. Sirius was looking at a half-length mirror hanging against the wall. It was old and clearly polished regularly by Filch, but still out of place. "Look at this." 

"Sirius, we haven't got time to look at a bloody mirror! Filch could be anywhere!" Remus hissed. 

"There's a passage behind it," Sirius said.

"How do you know?"

"I just do. We have to move the mirror." Remus sighed. 

"If we check, will you hurry up so we don't get caught?" Sirius grabbed the mirror and, with Remus' help, moved it far enough out of the way to reveal a tunnel. Remus stared at it, gobsmacked. 

He was only startled out of his stupor when the sound of footsteps echoed against the stones. He and Sirius looked at each other in alarm and stumbled into the tunnel, pulling the mirror back into place hastily. 

"I finally found one," Sirius whispered, and Remus could hear the pride in his voice. 

"Not the time to be talking, Sirius," Remus whispered back. 

" _Lumos_!" Sirius muttered. Remus only just managed to avert his eyes as light replaced the darkness and he could see Sirius across from him. 

"What happened back there, Sirius?" Remus asked softly. 

"What do you mean?" Sirius replied, beginning to lead the way away from the entrance. 

"You know what I mean." Remus said. "I've never seen you so winded before. And you're limping." Sirius was indeed limping, his left leg seeming to be a little too weak to support his weight. But Sirius was silent, making Remus' frustration rise. 

Sirius wasn't allowed to keep secrets. Not when he would always be perfect to everyone else. Not when there couldn't be anything in his life bad enough to keep hidden. No matter how unpleasant his parents and cousins were, they were not something for their own child to fear. Remus knew what real fear was, and he wouldn't wish it on anyone. 

_Sirius wasn't allowed to hide things_. It was unfair. Remus actually had to hide something so that he wouldn't be locked up in a cell in the Ministry, and Sirius wouldn't tell him why he was injured. 

So when Remus grabbed ahold of Sirius' arm and whirled him round, only to get a wand pointed as his throat, he was equal parts shocked and annoyed. This wasn't like Sirius. He never directed any kind of magic at anyone. He wasn't malicious or cruel like that. 

"What are you going to do? Hex me?" Remus asked. "Throw a curse or two? Cast a jinx that your precious bloody tutors taught you thanks to all that money your parents throw at everything?" 

"Take that back." Sirius replied. 

"Why? It's true. They _do_ throw away money like it's nothing. And it doesn't matter how many times you, James and Peter bring up random bits of information in coversation and think I don't notice what youre doing, you're all miles ahead of me. You'll be fine once you leave Hogwarts because your family names will get you wherever you want to go." 

"Is this why you stayed behind? To interrogate me?" Sirius asked. 

"No, I was _trying_ to make sure you're okay, but you clearly don't want anyone's help because you think you're too good for it." 

"That's not why I didn't respond," Sirius said. 

"Then what _was_ the reason?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because ... because you won't believe me," Sirius said. 

"How do _you_ know what I do and don't believe? Go on, hex me, I dare you." Remus responded, tilting his head up in defiance.

His father had always said he was too inquisitive and challenged things too much, that he always wanted to be a part of everything, never wanted to be left out.

Lyall had always made it sound like something to be ashamed of, like it was something that would only bring Remus trouble, but he had never lost it, he had only learnt to hide it. 

Sirius looked at him, head cocked to one side like he was trying to work something out, before he lowered his wand and looked guilty instead. "Sorry." He muttered. "I didn't really mean it. I just ... don't like people prying." 

"It's fine," Remus said. "Neither do I."

"If I tell you, do you promise you won't tell James or Peter?" Sirius asked.

There was a crease in between his brows, showing just how much this really meant to him. Part of Remus felt thrilled at the idea of someone _trusting_ him with something. A smaller part felt guilty for that, seeing the look on Sirius' face and knowing that he shouldn't feel significant when Sirius was sharing something bad. 

"I won't breathe a word," Remus said earnestly. And he meant it. He truly did. 

"Here, hold this." Sirius held out his wand for Remus to take, and Remus suddenly felt even better. To trust someone with your wand was huge. It was handing over what was technically an extra limb, an extension of someone's magic.

He took the wand and watched curiously as Sirius unbuttoned his shirt just enough to expose his skin as he twisted slightly, showing a horribly thick line stretching from about an inch below his sternum and reaching round to connect to his bottom rib on the right hand side. 

"Sirius ..." Remus said softly. 

"I have another one on my knee." Sirius said, pulling the left leg of his trousers up, where Remus could make out a carefully crafted 'WB' on the skin, one letter above the other. 

"'WB'," Remus mused. "Is that ... someone's initials?" 

Sirius nodded. "My mum." He said. 

"Your-"

"Yeah. Walburga Black." Sirius said. "She did it over summer. My dad did the one on my rib."

" _W-why_?!" Remus asked in horror. Sirius let the trouser leg fall and start buttoning up his shirt again. 

"Same as usual, I was mouthing off about something or other." He shrugged. "They were antsy about me coming to school since they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on me. My cousins can only do so much, since they're older than me. My parents didn't want me bringing shame to the family, so when I started causing a scene at dinner, they decided to make the most of the limited time they had left to try and get me into line." 

"Sirius, that's ... that's awful!" 

Sirius shrugged again. "It's the Blacks." He said. He held his hand out and Remus suddenly realised he was still holding Sirius' wand. He gave it back and tried to process the information properly.

He felt terrible now, thinking that Sirius couldn't possibly have anything to hide. Remus didn't know if Sirius' parents did that sort of thing often, and he wasn't sure if he _wanted_ to know.

Somehow, it seemed more horrid than what Remus went through on the full moons. At least he didn't remember what he'd done to himself. At least he woke up and very rarely dealt with the pain for longer than three or four days. Sirius was _still_ living with the pain of the injuries, over two months later. 

"Look, Remus, please don't say anything to the others." Sirius pleaded, a sense of desperation crossing into his eyes for a moment. "It doesn't matter, it was just a one-time thing. It was _my_ fault, not theirs. I was annoying them, I should've just kept my mouth shut-"

"That doesn't mean they can scar you, Sirius!" Remus replied, keeping his tone gentle. "It doesn't matter what happened, you didn't deserve it. They hurt you. Parents aren't supposed to do that."

Part of Remus was working on autopilot in that moment, knowing exactly what Sirius needed to hear. It was what Remus needed to hear, too, sometimes. That it didn't matter what had happened between his father and Fenrir Greyback - if he really was the one to blame for Remus being bitten - because all that mattered was that Remus didn't deserve what happened to him either.

Lyall could be cold and reserved around Remus sometimes, seemingly so afraid to get close to him, and Remus had long since given up doing anything and everything to vye for his attention and love.

Sooner or later, the novelty of his son attending school would wear off, and he would fool himself into believing that none of this was real, that they were a normal family.

And then Remus would return for the holidays, and he would have a full moon at home and the illusion would be shattered. Lyall would do what he did best and would shut them all out completely. 

"It doesnt matter, Remus, just _please_ don't tell them!" Sirius begged. 

"Was it really a one time thing?" Remus asked. 

"Yes!" Sirius said emphatically. Remus raised an eyebrow and Sirius nodded. So Remus sighed and began traipsing his way down the tunnel once again, leaving Sirius to catch up with him. 

"You need to get them checked out," Remus said softly. "If they're making it hard to walk or run, then you need to talk to Madame Pomfrey."

"And tell her what?" Sirius asked. "I can't tell anyone else, Remus. This has to be our secret. If anyone else knows, they'll call my parents in and question them, and it'll be so much worse. Black secrets never survive in public without backfiring on the accuser. They'll see me as even more of a traitor. You understand, don't you?" 

"I understand," Remus said, after a brief pause. He looked over at Sirius to find the other boy already watching him with worried eyes. "I won't say anything." 

Relief seemed to flood Sirius and he grinned his usual grin, with a dimple in one cheek and a flash of teeth showing. 

In that moment, seeing that look, Remus decided that _maybe_ he could trust Sirius Black after all.


	7. 1971 - All Will Be Revealed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, we didn't get caught. But, we did hear something interesting." Sirius said, a sly smile making its way onto his face. "He called us marauders." 

October 18th 1971 - The Marauder's Dormitory

"Where have you two been?" James asked. 

"Save the inquisition for after I've gotten changed," Sirius said, heading straight for his pyjamas. Remus did the same, taking them over to the bathroom and getting changed in there, as he always did. The others hadn't questioned it since their first day waking up in their dormitories, which he was thankful for. 

When he was done, satisfied that he was covered up well with his long-sleeved shirt and trousers, he left the bathroom just as Sirius was retelling their adventure to James and Peter. 

"We found a passageway that goes all the way into Hogsmeade!" Sirius exclaimed. 

"Don't exaggerate, Sirius, there's no way-" Peter started. 

"It's true." Remus interrupted, tucking his clothes into his trunk and sitting cross-legged on his bed. "It connects to the basement of one of the buildings there. It was near the train station, we heard a train go by. We didn't leave the passage, not really, but we think it might be connected to one of the shops."

"I'm convinced it's Scrivenshafts," Sirius continued. "There were boxes full of stationary everywhere." 

"So ... we can sneak into Hogsmeade whenever we want?" James said. 

"That's not what we're saying, James," Remus said, but the grin sliding across his face gave him away. "Just that there's probably more than one way out of the castle. _If_ we ever needed it."

The idea of going down to the village, a place that Lyall had spoken highly of in the weeks leading up to Remus' start at Hogwarts, seemed like another impossibility that now all of a sudden seemed closer. Yet another thing that was once thought to be kept well out of Remus' grasp, and now was right in front of him, staring him in the eye. It almost seemed too good to be true. 

"And wait till you hear about what happened when we got back to the castle," Sirius added. "We got back to the entrance, and just as we were about to push aside the mirror that covered it, we heard Filch talking to McGonnagall about the whole dungbomb situation."

"What did he say?" James asked in alarm. "Did he know it was us? Did you get caught?" 

"No, we didn't get caught. _But_ , we did hear something interesting." Sirius said, a sly smile making its way onto his face. "He called us marauders." 

"Okay ... and what does that have to do with anything?" Peter said. 

"What does it even mean?" James asked. 

"It's a fancy word for a thief or a raider," Remus said. "Which, to be fair, we are. We _did_ steal those dungbombs." 

"Filch stole them first." James protested. 

"My point _is_ ," Sirius interrupted. "Is that we should take advantage of it."

"What do you mean?" Remus asked. 

"Sirius, are you suggesting we start calling ourselves thieves?" Peter asked. 

"No, I'm saying we call ourselves the Marauders," Sirius replied. 

"We aren't kids, Sirius, we don't need a silly group name," Peter said. 

"It's not silly, and you're right, we aren't kids. We're becoming the next terrors of the school! We're going to run rings around McGonnagall and Filch and _all_ the staff!" 

"I thought you said we weren't going to hurt anyone," Remus argued. "Just mildly inconvenience them." 

"And we'll keep to that promise, Remus. It's not like we're going to feed Snape to the Whomping Willow." Sirius rolled his eyes. 

"The Whomping Willow?" Remus asked. 

"Yeah, that massive tree that swings its branches at anything that gets too close. I was talking to Frank Longbottom about it the other day and he said that it wasn't here last year, it got installed over the summer. No one knows why." James said. "They're quite dangerous, they're used as a protective weapon because of how violent they are." 

Remus felt sick. He knew exactly what tree they were talking about, of course. The tree was what covered his monthly night outside the castle in a ramshackle house in Hogsmeade. He'd had no idea that it had a name, though. And he'd had no idea that the Willow was there to keep the school safe from _him_ , instead of it protecting him and him alone.

It was naive to think any different, Remus _had_ been dealing with transformations for over 6 years at this point, he _knew_ he was dangerous.But having this information slammed into his face from people who didn't even know Remus was a werewolf, instead of the staff who were supposed to be making his life at Hogwarts comfortable, hurt a little more than it should've.

"Are you alright, Remus?" Peter asked, jolting Remus out of his thoughts. "You've gone pale, are you ill?" 

"No, I'm fine, I just ... didn't know that the tree was such a big deal," Remus replied. "It doesn't matter, just ... me being squeamish, I suppose."

Remus, of course, was not squeamish in the slightest, having spent the majority of his life seeing his parents mop up all the blood he'd lost during the full moon, but each lie he told to the boys around him, the easier it got. Soon, it would be second nature, and it wouldn't bother him again, and he would live out his life unburdened by it. 

"Back to the topic at hand," Sirius said. "I think it's a great idea to start calling ourselves marauders. We could start giving people back their things from Filch's office, get the whole school united!" 

"Are you _really_ trying to make this out to be a Robin Hood situation?" Remus laughed.

Sirius frowned at him. "Who?" 

"You don't know who Robin Hood is?" Remus asked. He looked at James and Peter, who were just as confused. "You know, the guy who stole from the rich to give to the poor?" The others blinked, still confused. 

"I suppose we _could_ be a little like that," James said slowly. 

"Everyone would know who we were," Sirius added. "Well, this means a little added work between now and Halloween, but if it means a little more publicity, then I say we embrace it!" 

~

October 20th 1971 - Defence Against the Dark Arts

" _Psst,_ Vance," Remus whispered across the aisle.

Emmeline Vance, one of their fellow Gryffindors, was sat in the desk next to Remus and Peter, and she tilted her head just slightly to indicate she had heard him. She had long, dark, wavy hair and dark brown eyes. Remus hadn't interacted with her much, but she seemed nice enough. She was one of the tallest girls in the year and was already proving to be one of the strongest witches, with a particular proclivity for Charms. 

Currently, they were sat in a Defence lesson listening to their professor, an unbelievably dry and boring woman by the name of Adella Stemms, drone on about imps. James and Sirius were sat in the desk in front of Peter and Remus passing notes to one another, as they often were. 

"What's up, Lupin?" She muttered back. 

"I heard you had a few things taken off you by Filch last week." 

"So what if I did?"

"We're - meaning Peter, James, Sirius and I - are challenging ourselves to sneak into Filch's office and return stolen items to their owners," Remus told her. "What did you get nicked?"

"Belching powder, two dungbombs and a handful of stink pellets in a tightly sealed leather pouch." She replied. 

Remus balled up some scrap parchment that Peter had torn up after too many spelling mistakes and chucked it at Sirius' head. The black-haired boy turned, scowling slightly and raised an eyebrow. 

"Two dungbombs for Vance," Remus whispered before Sirius could complain.

Sirius cast a quick glance to the front of the room, checking to make sure that Stemms couldn't see him, and pulled out two dungbombs, handing them back to Remus quickly. He took them, extracting the belching powder and stink pellets from his own pockets before handing them all to Emmeline as discreetly as he could, keeping an eye on Stemms as she wrote something on the chalkboard. 

"Cheers, Lupin." Vance grinned. "Let me know if you four ever need anything and I'll return the favour."

"No worries, Merlin knows we might need an extra pair of hands someday," Remus replied. "Keep this quiet, though, yeah? We don't want any problems from the teachers."

"Of course. I won't say anything."

Remus thanked her and they both looked back towards the chalkboard, with Remus feeling oddly proud.

~

October 24th 1971 - Gryffindor table

By the week before Halloween, with a series of items finding their ways back to their owners in lessons and corridors, snuck across tables at dinner and placed in front of them in the common room, the four Gryffindor boys had managed to gain a silent reputation as masters of sneakiness.

No one knew how they'd managed to get into Filch's office and retrieve so many items from him, as well as figuring out who had had what confiscated from them within the space of a week and a half. Filch had been grumpy for days, and it had all worked out in their favour since he could often be heard muttering about the 'marauders stealing from me every other night'.

Now, with the added secrecy of people finding out who had been stealing from the caretaker, people had been jokingly referring to the boys as the Marauders without much prodding from them. 

"Make way, make way, the Marauders are coming through," Sirius said, puffing his chest up as he approached a space in the benches. A few people scooted over, grinning up at them, and the group slid into their seats, tucking into their dinner immediately. 

"Hey, Sirius, did you find anymore stink pellets in Filch's office?" One of the second years asked from across the table. 

"What about a nose biting teacup?" Another asked. 

"I think there's a set of Gobstones in there from last year. Filch almost tripped on them when we were playing in the courtyard and snatched them up."

" _And_ some Exploding Snap cards! He's a right prick!" 

"There's plenty of time for us to take back prank items being held hostage," James said goodnaturedly. "Right now, we're focusing on something a little bigger."

"What do you mean?" A short-haired girl asked. She was sat beside Frank Longbottom, the third year who had warned the Marauders of watching what they say so loudly in front of Prefects in the common room. 

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, Miss Fortescue," Sirius said, sending a charming smile her way. Frank looked up from the parchment paper he was looking at and frowned briefly at Sirius before glancing at Alice, his ears going slightly pink as he looked back down to his parchment. 

"All you need to know is that it'll be big, and it'll be fun," James assured. 

"When will we see this plan in action?" Lily asked.

She was sat not too far away from them, her bright green eyes watching them with guarded curiosity. Over the last few weeks, she had seemingly fallen more and more under Snape's spell, especially after the incident with the boils, who Snape clearly believed James, Sirius, Peter and Remus to be the culprits - which was not entirely untrue, of course.

The two were closer than ever, and with the recent exchanges of retrieved goods, she now regarded the Marauders with increasing uncertainty. She clearly wanted to do something similar to Remus, to just get her head down and get through school without too much of a fuss. Remus, however, was having his willpower slowly depleted now that he had friends.

"Be patient, all will be revealed soon," Sirius said with a sly grin. Lily looked worried as she returned to her dinner and Remus couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. She seemed nice, and she _was_ very bubbly and kind. She was the kind of person to light up whatever room she was in, and not just because of the vibrancy of her hair. 

Remus made a mental note to try and get Lily onside before she became too disapproving of them. It _would_ be nice to have more than just three friends. Not too many more, Remus was already worried he'd be stretched too thin between too many people, but a few more would be safe, would be tolerable. Lyall and Hope would be less inclined to worry if he had a nice group of people around him. It would put their minds at ease and give Remus one less burden to carry. 

_Yeah, a few more friends are what I need_. 

~

October 25th 1971 - Transfiguration classroom

"Professor, could I speak to you for a moment?" Remus asked. 

McGonnagall looked up from the stack of parchment papers in front of her and flashed a quick smile when she saw him. "Of course, Mr Lupin, what can I do for you? How was the full moon at the beginning of the month? I haven't had much chance to check in with you, my seventh years are taking up all of my time currently." 

"It went fine, thank you," Remus said politely. "It was actually something about my condition that I wanted to talk to you about?" 

McGonnagall quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"The Whomping Willow ..." Remus said hesitantly. "James said that Frank Longbottom told him it wasn't here last year. James said it's violent and dangerous and used as a weapon, as protection. It - it hides the passageway down to the house I use every month. W-was it put here because of ... because of me?" 

There was a slight hesitation from McGonnagall, enough for Remus to know the truth, and the sinking disappointment in his stomach almost made him throw up the breakfast he'd eaten only ten minutes before. He'd left the Gryffindor table early, telling the others that he wanted to ask McGonnagall about some homework she'd set three days before. The rest of his class would be due any moment, and Remus was beginning to regret his decision to do this now. 

"Mr Lupin ... I'll be honest with you, and I don't want this to come off the wrong way-"

"I understand, Professor," Remus said resolutely. He squared his shoulders, raised his chin slightly, trying to be brave. "Really, I do. I know I'm dangerous, I know I'm a threat as long as I'm here, and I know that you can't be too careful because nothing will ever convince anyone that I'm anything more than a dark creature, but I thought you were being upfront about caring about _my_ safety, too."

"Of course we care about your safety," McGonnagall said. 

"It doesn't seem like it, Professor." Remus protested. "It's just for a few hours _once_ a month that I'm different. Did any of you consider that _I_ might need protecting sometimes, that _I_ might need some reassurance that everything will be okay and that I'm still _me_? I'm _eleven_! I didn't ask for this! I know it's selfish of me, but sometimes _I_ need help, too." 

Remus was fighting an onslaught of angry tears, years of pent up frustration at his parents treating him like an adult, having to grow up fast to deal with the seriousness of what he was forced to endure, and he was finally sick of it. He was so tired of acting like an adult, of carrying it all on his own. 

McGonnagall watched him as he talked, her forehead creasing and a tight line replacing where her mouth was. She seemed to be listening now, slightly shocked at the longest stream of words Remus had uttered in her presence. 

"I'm sorry, Mr Lupin," She said quietly. "I want you to know that we _do_ care about you. The Willow was put installed to protect your identity and allow you privacy. It's there in equal parts for you and for other students' safety. I'm sorry that that wasn't communicated well enough. We'll do better. In the meantime, maybe talking to Madame Pomfrey about your experiences around each full moon, it'll help her to help you." 

Remus regarded her warily. If he'd dared to say anything like this to his parents, his father would've most certainly started yelling, and his mother would be crying and trying to calm him down, and Remus would get nervous and anxious because his father was taller and stronger than him, and his magic would rise out of fear, and the cupboards would start to slam open, plates would topple out of them and smash on the floor and-

"Mr Lupin, take a deep breath, there's nothing to fear here." McGonnagall's voice cut through the madness and Remus focused again, seeing McGonnagall's desk shaking. "I've not seen that kind of raw magic in a long time." She said. "We'll talk more about this another time, Remus, right now, you should take your seat. Your classmates are not far behind you." 

Remus turned just as other students in his year group began stampeding inside. So he muttered a quick apology and a thank you to McGonnagall under his breath before hurrying to his seat at the back of the room. 


	8. 1971 - Cheshire Cat Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And when she left for a moment to return with a pain relief potion and a bundle of softer blankets from the store cupboards, promising to order in some fluffy ones just for Remus, he felt for the first time like Hogwarts could become home to him over these next seven years. 

October 27th 1971 - The Potions Classroom

"Whatever do you need to dye Horklump juice for?!" Slughorn chuckled. "Where did you even get any?!"

"It's just a hypothetical, sir," Peter said meekly. He was on his own, with the other Marauders waiting for him outside the classroom, listening in intently. "I was curious. I really like Potions, and I was wondering if it was safe for someone to drink Horklump juice, either with dye or without."

"Safe? What would you even use it for?"

"I ... I thought it would be a good idea to prank my sister when I got home." 

"Your sister? What's her name?" 

"Emily," Peter replied. 

"Emily Pettigrew ... of course! Lovely girl! Hufflepuff, wasn't she?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"I remember her now. Part of the Duelling Club for seven years straight, and one of the best I've ever seen. Not gifted in Potions in the slightest, but she tried valiantly, and that's what really matters!" Slughorn said. "Quite the joker, as well, if memory serves. Alright, Mr Pettigrew, this shouldn't take more than ten minutes, get some parchment and ink out and I'll write down the instructions for you." 

October 31st 1971 - The Marauders Dormitory

"Right! Are we ready, lads?" James asked. The four of them were sat on the floor in a circle in their dormitory, running over the plan over and over again until they were certain that they could run it even in their sleep. 

They would sneak into the kitchens an hour before dinner was due to be served. They'd spent the last few days checking what the house-elves were up to before the meal, and had taken note that it normally only took them forty-five minutes before the students and staff start filing in.

They could easily sneak in, use all four pair of hands to replace the pumpkin juice with the now dyed Horklump juice, which Slughorn had assured Peter multiple times would not cause any harm if ingested, and then sneak out with plenty of time to get away without being noticed. 

"As ready as we'll ever be," Remus said. 

James took a deep breath and smiled. "Let this be the start of a very fruitful friendship. We're going to do great things together, you know." 

"Cut the sentiment, Potter," Sirius said, rolling his eyes, a small smirk playing across his lips. "We should head out. Peter, get the Horklump juice. James, grab the cloak. Remus, you're in charge of the passageway list. Merlin knows you're the only one who can actually read your handwriting." 

"Are you sure you're not just illiterate?" Remus teased as the four of them got up, grabbing various bits and pieces, including their school jumpers over their uniforms to battle the coldness of the dungeons. 

"You wound me, Mr Lupin," Sirius said, putting a hand over his heart in mock offence. Remus ignored him, pulled on one of his thicker jumpers rather than his school one, knowing that it would be hell to catch a cold so soon. He was awfully irritable when he was ill, and the last thing he wanted was to bring the mood down if he was sniffling constantly.

Remus took the list of passageways from his bedside table and tucked it into his trousers, following the others out of the dorm, down the stairs, through the common room and out of the portrait hole. James pulled the cloak out from where he'd wrapped it around his midsection underneath his clothes. Luckily, his clothes had been bought slightly too big for him so that he could grow into them, so the added bulk wasn't noticeable. 

They all comfortably tucked themselves under the cloak with an urgent sense of haste, trying to be quick in case anyone else left the common room and spotted them. 

Once they were sure they were all covered, they made their way carefully down to the kitchens, consulting the list of passageways every now and then, just in case there was a shortcut they could take. 

"We have twenty minutes once we get down there," James whispered once they were in the passageway that led into the kitchens. "Let's get in and out quickly." 

Each of them gave firm nods, entered the kitchens, took the cloak off and got to work. 

~

Remus, Sirius, James and Peter were smirking at each other at the Gryffindor table as the chaos erupted and people began to realise what was in their goblets. People were shouting, complaining, trying to charm their drinks back to pumpkin juice, and angrily asking the people around them who'd dared to tamper with the feast. 

Slowly, one by one, the Gryffindors surrounding them realised what had happened and noticed the quietness of the Marauders, piecing their cryptic words from a few days before and relaxing slightly. This was done by one of their own, with no war to be waged against the Slytherins tonight. The Gryffindors were only affected to make sure the blame wasn't placed on their house and weren't punished with lost house points. That alone gave the four first years added respect. 

"Well done, guys," James muttered to his friends, glancing at them all slyly. Remus felt a swell of pride and he looked down at his plate, tucking into his food and feeling positive about his start to Hogwarts.

~

November 3rd 1971 - The Great Hall

Remus convinced Madame Pomfrey to let him into the Hall for dinner, and he staggered his way down there, feeling weak and shaky and awful. He had to be down there today, of all days. 

_"Right, we have some business to attend to." James said suddenly. The three others looked up from what they were doing, each flicking through Quidditch magazines or a book or a magical crossword puzzle, in Peter's case._

_"And what's that?" Peter asked absentmindedly._

_"Birthdays, of course," James said. "When is everyones? We've gotta celebrate together, its important."_

_"Twentieth of January," Peter said._

_"Mine's the twenty-seventh of March," James added. "Sirius?"_

_"November third." Sirius yawned, turning a page in the magazine he was reading._

_"What about you, Remus?" James asked._

_"Oh ... uh, its March tenth." Remus felt enormously uncomfortable at the idea of his birthday, knowing that it fell just a week after he'd been bitten and a week before he'd had his first full moon. March was an anniversary now, and he desperately hoped that his friends would forget about it. "But don't worry about doing anything, me and my parents never do much."_

_"But it's your birthday! We have to make a fuss!" Peter said._

_"Seriously, Pete, I'm not that bothered." Remus shrugged. He folded up the piece of parchment paper that he'd been scribbling notes on and tossed it in the bin. His handwriting really_ was _awful._

When he managed to slide into a space beside his friends at the Gryffindor table, they were immediately worried. 

"Where have you been all day?" James asked. 

"Not to be a downer, but you look rough, mate, you need to go to the Hospital Wing," Peter encouraged. 

"I've been there all day," Remus said. "It's just a small bug, I'll be fine by tomorrow. I get sick really easy, especially in winter. Don't worry about it." 

Remus extracted a small package from his pocket and handed it to Sirius, who tilted his head in confusion. 

"What's this?" He asked. 

"A present. Happy birthday," Remus said. Sirius softened slightly and took it, unwrapping it gently and peering inside. 

"Sugar quills! And some water-soluble ink! Remus, where did you get these?!" 

"I helped Frank with some Care of Magical Creatures homework about salamanders. My dad did some intern work in the summer after his seventh year, it's how he got into Regulation and Control. I practically memorised his research paper about salamanders when my mum and I found it in a box of his old stuff in the attic. Frank offered to pay me back somehow, so I asked him to get those for you." Remus shrugged. 

"This is great! Thank you!" 

Remus simply smiled and tucked into his dinner. One friend down, two more birthdays to go. 

December 3rd 1971 - The Hospital Wing

Remus woke, as he often did the morning after a full moon, with a thumping headache and the feeling of being overwhelmed. The duvet on the bed seemed a little too stiff and unyielding, the lights too bright and the soft echoing of life happening around him too noisy. The Hospital Wing was not made for a recovering werewolf.

He was too used to getting time alone in his room after a full moon. His mother would be the one to tend to him, with her kind face and understanding nature, who would look at him with kindness and with no trace of pity in her face.

She knew exactly how he needed things to be. She knew to keep the blinds over his windows closed, to only have a soft bedside lamp on when she came in to check his bandages. She always remembered to turn them off when she was finished, letting Remus relax with one less thing in his life causing him distress.

Just after Remus had been bitten and had cried at the harshness of everything, Hope had convinced Lyall to Apparate them all into Port Talbot for the day so she could buy Remus some less harsh lighting, and it had helped wonderfully. 

Lyall hated to see Remus so pale and sickly, and often kept away, peeking his head around the door before Remus went to bed and smiling, uttering a soft, "I'm glad you're okay, Remus," before retreating downstairs once again. He hated being around Remus around the full moon, and part of Remus wished he'd stay just once. 

Remus was missing home severely. He missed his parents, and the quietness of Wales, and the skies and the rain and the fields and the chickens they had in their back garden, with a huge pen to run around in that also kept them safe. 

"Mr Lupin, are you awake?" Madame Pomfrey asked softly. Remus opened his eyes, squinting at the brightness above him. 

"Morning, Madame Pomfrey." He croaked. 

"Morning, dear. Can you sit up for me, or would you like some help?"

Remus wriggled and heaved himself into a seated position, wincing as every part of his body begged him to stop moving. Madame Pomfrey smiled at him and drew the curtains around his bed as she stepped inside the compartment. She waved her wand in the direction of the curtain and Remus knew that she'd probably set up a Silencing Charm, which meant a serious conversation was coming.

"Now, before we start, Professor McGonnagall asked me if you'd come forward about some treatments that help you yet, and when I told her that we hadn't, she said you'd had a little word with her about some frustrations you had?" 

A pang of guilt struck Remus, battling alongside the part of him that felt angry about feeling the guilt. Why _should_ he feel guilty? Why was he feeling it? Surely he had every right to it. This _was_ his life affected, after all.

"I shouldn't have accused her of not caring," Remus said quietly. "I-it's just hard to be completely sure that people see me as me instead of a monster. I'd turn back time and give it back if I could, I never asked for it, I don't really know why it happened, just some rumours."

"Lyall never told you anything about it?" Madame Pomfrey asked. Remus shook his head. 

"Did you know my dad?" 

"I did. He was at school here twenty years ago. A very smart young lad, but with a lot of pride and a lot of anger to be poked at. But he was lovely for the most part. He joined my little apothecary club during his sixth and seventh year, he was torn between being an overseas medic for dragon trainers or working in the Magical Creatures Department."

"Really?" Remus said. "I can't imagine him doing anything like healing."

"He was very good at it." Madame Pomfrey said. "Does he not help you after full moons?" 

"No, my mum does it. He always stays away from me for three or four days around it." Remus admitted. "I don't think he likes being close to me in case I start acting weird. My friends recognised his name from old Prophet articles and they said that he doesn't like werewolves. Why do you think he chose the department he did?" 

"Rogue centaurs attacked a cousin of his that disrupted their home. And then a friend of his was killed by a werewolf while exploring a nearby forest during the Easter holidays. Both events happened a few weeks apart in his seventh year. He was very hurt by it all." Madame Pomfrey said. "But it's nothing for you to worry about now, Remus, it's all in the past." 

Remus nodded. There were so many pieces to the puzzle that made up his father. So many, in fact, that Remus wholeheartedly believed he would never truly know Lyall in the way most sons knew their fathers. 

"So tell me," Madame Pomfrey said, bringing Remus' mind back to the bed he was sitting on and the healer in front of him. "What can I do to make this easier for you? Why didn't you say anything sooner about what helps you to heal?" 

"I don't want to cause a fuss," Remus shrugged. "My mum does a lot of caring for me because she hates seeing me in pain. But my dad ... I know he wishes I could be on my feet as soon as I'm bandaged up, even though the full moons make me weak and sick. I want to show him I'm brave enough to handle a little extra pain if it means making the most of school." 

"Remus, dear, you don't have to prove anything." Madame Pomfrey said, a slight note of anger in her voice. Remus got the sense that the anger was not directed at him so much as his father, but it was enough to make him nervous nonetheless. "Your father has a lot of opinions about a lot of things, but he's not always right. What helps?" 

Remus looked around him, trying to make a list in his head of all the things that were making the headache behind his eyes worse and the thought of moving from bed feel like a marathon. 

"If there's a charm that can darken the area over whichever bed I use, that'd be really helpful," Remus said. "I get sensitive to everything around me when I change back. Touch, lights and sounds ... they're the three I struggle with the most. And because I have so much energy drained, I get colder a lot easier. I get a lot of headaches as well."

"I'll make sure to get some softer covers and throws to give you. I can get the charms in place this instant, as well as a potion for the headache." Madame Pomfrey said. "From this moment on, Remus, you and I are going to have a little meeting before every full moon to make sure everything is ready and waiting for you. We'll find another alternative for anything that doesn't work. We're going to figure this out together, do you understand?"

The firmness and fierceness radiating from the healer were enough to stun Remus for a moment before he nodded, still slightly speechless.

He'd expected a lot more anger at any requests or complaints he made, and though the idea of telling someone what he needed was hard to process, the fact that McGonnagall had promised the staff would do better, to have them follow through with that, Remus was overcome with the desire to apologise for causing a disturbance. 

He forced himself to swallow that desire and returned Madame Pomfrey's smile as she flicked her wand, creating a floating canopy over Remus' bed, still hidden by the curtains so no one asked any questions. 

And when she left for a moment to return with a pain relief potion and a bundle of softer blankets from the store cupboards, promising to order in some fluffy ones just for Remus, he felt for the first time like Hogwarts could become home to him over these next seven years. 

Between the three boys with Chesire Cat smiles that would greet him with a joke and bundles of joy, and the healer that clearly wanted to do right by him, Remus felt secure. 

Most importantly, he felt ... _happy_. 


	9. 1971 - Very Merry Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was this the beginning of Sirius slipping away from them, being drawn into his family again and being forced to think and act and walk and talk like them? Would he be okay when he came back?

December 18th 1971 - The Great Hall

"Have a very Merry Christmas!" Dumbledore called to students as they passed him out into the courtyard and down towards the train station in Hogsmeade. First and second years were taken via the carriages, but everyone else was entrusted to get their safely enough on their own. 

"See ya, Professor," Sirius replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets and dragging his feet alongside his friends. It was clear that he really didn't want to go home for the holidays, but there was no way he'd ever be allowed to stay at Hogwarts without his parents coming to pick him up immediately. 

After the events in the passageway to Hogsmeade, Remus hadn't managed to get the sight of the scars on Sirius' torso out of his head. He couldn't help but wonder if he'd made the right decision by swearing not to say anything to anyone. He found himself increasingly more and more worried as the days ticked by of what could happen now that the four of them were separated for two and a half weeks. It somehow felt wrong. 

But he kept his mouth shut, and simply pretending like he didn't notice the tension radiating from Sirius as they trekked to the carriages, piled into one and began the trip down to the Hogsmeade train station. 

"You four will have to come for Christmas one year," James said. "My parents do the best turkey in the world!" 

"Maybe we can plan it for next year!" Peter said excitedly, practically bouncing in his seat. Remus couldn't help but smile. Peter had been slowly coming out of his shell more in the last few weeks, feeling more at ease with the Marauders than he'd probably ever felt before. Remus knew the feeling. 

"My mum makes really nice brownies every year, so if we plan it, I could bring some," Remus suggested. "She'll be so happy that I have some friends to share them with." 

James beamed, positively glowing with the feedback. He looked at Sirius, who was staring off into space, turned away from them all, and the smile faltered slightly. 

"What do you think, Sirius?" He asked. Sirius came alive then, moving for the first time in almost ten minutes as he registered that someone was talking to him. 

"What?" 

"About planning a Christmas with me and my family? All four of us together, I mean. Wouldn't that be amazing?"

"Yeah," Sirius said. "Yeah, that would be pretty cool."

"You don't sound that excited," James said.

The disappointment was starting to show, the light in his eyes fading. Remus felt it, too. Was this the beginning of Sirius slipping away from them, being drawn into his family again and being forced to think and act and walk and talk like them? Would he be okay when he came back?

Would he still be cheeky and bright-eyed, with wavy black hair falling in front of his eyes that flashed with excitement and glee and mischief at every joke and every comment his friends made?

Remus was worried about him. 

"I do want to, James. Really, I do," Sirius said. "But you know what my parents are like. They're distrustful of everyone that isn't old blood."

"The Potters are an old pureblood family, too, you know," James said defensively. 

" _I_ know that," Sirius replied. "But _they_ won't accept it. They'll be happy I have pureblood friends, but once they realise who yours and Peter's and Remus' parents are, they'll turn their noses up and try to forbid me from ever being near you again."

"They already know _my_ parents." Remus pointed out. "Surely, they'll have a better reaction to the Potters and Pettigrews?"

Sirius scoffed. "The Blacks play by their own rules. In fact, they _set_ the rules in the pureblood world, particularly in the aristocratic circles. They'd prefer it if I stuck to the Lestranges and the Mulcibers, or the Crabbes and the Rosiers. After all, my grandmother was a Crabbe and my aunt is a Rosier. A lot of the old families are distant cousins. They'll see all of your families as traitors, as tainted blood."

"So tell them to stuff it and come anyway." James shrugged. 

"My mum would clip my ear for daring to do such a thing," Peter said, apprehensive about the very thought. He shuddered and seemed to shrink into himself. 

Remus couldn't help but notice small details like his friends' ways of talking, the way they slipped into 'better' grammar, knowing how to say words like 'aristocratic' without having to put conscious effort into pronouncing it right. It set them all words apart from Remus, and it was only getting more obvious the more time they spent together. 

Peter's family were not as rich as the Potters or the Blacks, but they made good money and provided a decent upbringing for Peter and his sister, with good teachers and something to aspire towards. James and Sirius were clearly raised well, with lots of money and good food, and nice, big homes with a house elf or two, and parents that invested in teaching them how to present themselves in respectable wizarding society. 

In Remus' home, they ate their meals at a small wooden table in the kitchen, covered in a white tablecloth that had faded a little over the years, no matter how many charms Lyall put over it, or what Hope put in the washing machine. It had been a wedding gift from Hope's mother, who had loved her daughter's choice in a husband more than Hope had.

She had given them the tablecloth as a fancy-ish sort of gift, along with some expensive crockery that had probably cost an arm and a leg. It was well worn and well-loved, something treasured that they kept even though it should've been replaced. 

But they ate as a family, close and tucked in together, in a cosy little cottage in the countryside, the smell of the spices and herbs that Hope had grown in the garden and used in their food. They had a house overrun with indoor plants that Hope adored taking care of, that Remus had helped her with most days for as long as he could remember. 

In the evenings, they would sit in the living room to read the Prophet or the books that Hope and Remus had stocked up on during their trips to Port Talbot once every few weeks, and then Hope would gently usher Remus up to bed. She always seemed to know exactly when he was ready to go to bed, often before Remus himself did.

And then they'd do the same thing the next day, with Lyall off at work before his wife or son had even woken up, the three of them repeating the motions and somehow never growing bored because they had each other. 

He couldn't imagine his childhood being any other way, and so his understanding of what pureblood life was like was about as broad as Sirius, James and Peter's were of _his_ childhood as a half-blood.

"Yeah, so would mine," Sirius said, the hint of a smile playing around the corner of his mouth. It came out sounding lighthearted, but Remus knew what it hid. He would get a lot worse if those scars were anything to go by. "I'll try and ask them. Maybe if I catch them in a good mood, or if I haven't gotten into too much trouble, they'll say yes." 

The spark in James' eyes was back and he slung an arm around Sirius' shoulders. "Thanks, mate. My parents would love you, they'll think you're hilarious. They'd love you all."

"They wouldn't be wrong, I _am_ the funny friend." Sirius grinned. 

"I think you're giving yourself too much credit," Remus replied. "James is funnier." 

James laughed and Sirius pretended to glower, and the carriage pulled to a stop outside the station, so they clambered down and boarded the train, finding the same compartment they'd arrived in empty and deciding to occupy it again. 

_Make the most of this, Remus. Two and a half weeks without them, you need this memory to keep you going,_ Remus thought as he sat down. 

He could do two and a half weeks without them. Easy peasy. 

~

December 18th 1971 - Platform 9 and 3/4

When the four of them piled off the train, bunched together tightly so they wouldn't lose each other in the crowds, Remus felt the worry in his chest peaking. 

"Mum! Dad! Over here!" James was yelling, waving his arm wildly.

Two older figures walked towards them. Both the man and the woman had dark hair, matching James. They were tall, and their eyes were both a kind hazel colour that, like their hair, matched their son's. James threw himself into their arms and the smiles they all wore spoke volumes about how close the three of them were. 

"And who are these three? Friends?" Mrs Potter asked, looking up at the others. James pulled away and stood with Sirius, Peter and Remus. 

"This is Peter Pettigrew, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin," He said, indicating to each of them as his chest puffed up in pride. His parents looked ever so slightly taken aback, but recovered quickly and smiled kindly at them.

"Well, it's lovely to meet you all. Can you all see your parents? Would you like us to stay with you until it clears up a bit?" Mr Potter asked. 

"Peter!" Peter looked towards the sound of the voice and his face lit up. 

"Emily!" Peter called in response. A fair-haired girl with blue eyes came running over and hugged Peter tightly. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Australia!" 

"Oh, thanks, I make an international Apparation trip halfway across the world just for my baby brother to say I'm not supposed to be here. How lovely!"

"I'm not a baby!" Peter said indignantly. 

"You'll always be a baby to me," Emily replied, pulling away. "These must be your friends! Nice to meet you all, I'm Emily, Peter's sister." She greeted. "Mum and Dad are waiting in Kings Cross, they knew it would be jam-packed, so they sent me on my own. Sorry that this is a bit rushed, but we have a time-sensitive surprise for you at home, we really have to get going." 

"See you guys after Christmas! I gave you all my address, don't forget to write," Peter said to his friends. "Lovely to meet you, Mr and Mrs Potter." 

"See ya, Pete!" James said. Emily whisked Peter away, disappearing into the crowds. 

_And then there were three._

"I should probably go and find my parents," Remus announced. "They'll get worried if things start clearing up and they can't find me. We have a long journey home." 

"Whereabouts do you live, Remus? I can't quite place your accent." Mrs Potter inquired. 

"Wales," Remus replied. "We live in the countryside near Port Talbot. It's a little town about ten or fifteen minutes from Swansea," 

"Oh, how lovely! Fleamont and I have been to Swansea!"

"And to Cardiff," Mr Potter added. 

"And to Cardiff!" Mrs Potter confirmed. "We love Wales, how wonderful that you get all those green fields and hills to explore, it must be lovely in the summertime."

"It rains a lot," Remus said. "But it _is_ nice. We have lots of space. We go camping for a week every summer, my dad books time off work and we live like Muggles for a little while."

"Where does your dad work? Are your parents both magic?" Mr Potter asked. Remus shook his head. 

"My dad is, but my mum isn't. Dad works in Regulation and Control at the Ministry." 

"I thought the last name sounded familiar," Mr Potter said. "Lyall, right?" Remus nodded. 

"I know Lyall!" Mrs Potter said. "Wonderful man. I only met his wife once, a tiny little thing with big green eyes, very beautiful. I had no idea they had a son." 

Remus was about to ask how the Potters knew his parents when a head of black hair came into view and Sirius moved, seemingly coming alive once again. There was something so odd about the way he could go from his usual boucy self to rigid and stiff.

"Hiya, Reg!" Sirius called excitedly, holding his arms out. 

The small boy that had been clinging to his mother's skirts the last time Remus had seen him emerged from the crowds of families. He was looking at his brother in awe and excitement, running and throwing his arms around Sirius, who stumbled back slightly from the force and gripped back just as tightly. 

"I've missed you!" Regulus said. 

"I've missed you, too," Sirius chuckled. "Are you gonna let go so I can get a proper look at you, then? Has Mum cut your hair?" 

"You weren't here to do it, and she always hates it when you do. She's done it once a month ever since you left. She said she's going to do yours as soon as we get home." Regulus said quickly, pulling away. Sirius peered as his brother's head, frowning at the work that his mother had done. 

"Hmm, it'll do." He muttered. "I'll do it again before I come back. Where are they, anyway?" 

"Near the exit. They sent me to look for you. I don't think they want to be seen with someone wearing your tie colour." Regulus told him. "Sirius, you should've seen them when the letter was sent home! They were furious!" 

"I gathered that from the Howler they sent." Sirius laughed. 

"It isn't funny," Regulus said worriedly. "They're still really angry." 

"It'll be fine, they won't do anything at Christmas, not when we're all waiting to see when Rodolphus will propose to Bella." Sirius dismissed. He looked at James, his parents, and Remus, giving them his trademark lopsided grin. "Lovely to finally meet you, Mr and Mrs Potter. Be careful if you send me any letters, lads, my parents and Kreacher are likely to rifle through them. See you in the new year." 

"See ya," James said. 

"Wait!" Remus blurted out as Sirius turned to leave. Sirius looked over his shoulder at him and his smile faltered. "You'll be alright, won't you?"

"Of course I will!" Sirius said. 

"Don't do anything stupid." Remus said quietly, stepping closer. "Please, just keep your head down until you're back at the castle. I don't want you to get hurt."

"Don't worry about me, Remus, I can handle them." Sirius replied. Before Remus could respond, Sirius grabbed his brother by the shoulder and kept tight hold of him, leading him into the crowds and disappearing from sight. 

"What was that all about?" James asked. 

"Nothing." Remus sighed. "I should get going. My parents will probably be waiting further up the platform. Merry Christmas, hope you have a nice break." 

"You too, Remus," James said, still looking apprehensive. His parents said goodbye to Remus and they all parted, Remus fighting his way towards the brick wall entrance to the platform, where his parents were indeed waiting for him. 

Hope enveloped him in a hug as soon as she saw him, and Remus experienced a few seconds of breathlessness from the feeling of being hugged so tightly. 

"I want to know _everything_!" Hope exclaimed when she finally let him go. "About your lessons, your new friends, your teachers, the castle. It must be so pretty! How's the school nurse? Is she helping?"

"Everything's brilliant, Mum, I promise," Remus chuckled. 

"We should get going before it gets dark." Lyall encouraged, looking around the platform worriedly.

He grabbed Hope's hand, put his hand on Remus' shoulder and immediately Disapparated, eager to get away from the crowds and the people. Lyall had always been on edge when it came to large groups of people, he preferred to be surrounded with his family and no one else, and Remus was sometimes quite similar. 

Remus blinked, and that was all it took for them to be taken from the bustling platform teeming with life, to the outskirts of a village. Another blink, a deep breath, and they were in a field, with the frost settling over it and the small wreath that hung on the door of a cottage just fifteen feet from them. 

"Welcome home, Remus," Hope said brightly. "Come on, I think we could all do with some hot chocolate. Race you to the front door!" 

Remus and his mother burst into a sprint, racing for their home and feeling the crisp Welsh wind whipping around them and knowing that all had been settled within the world again. 


	10. 1971 - Carrying No Burdens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus' eyes scanned over the crowds, searching for the other two members of their ragtag little team. He hadn't expected himself to grow so fond of them, or to have missed them all so much.

December 25th 1971 - The Lupins'

Remus yawned and stretched, turning over onto his right side and blearily opening his eyes. It was still a slight shock to see his room at home when he woke each morning rather than the canopy and the boys he shared his days with. 

He had told his parents as little as he could get away with about his new friends, just their names (Sirius' alone and made his father's mouth settle in a stiff and tense line) and that they all got along incredibly.

That had made his parents relax, and nothing more had been said, though he knew that his parents were desperate to know more. 

They hadn't asked how his full moons had been going, not when another was coming up on New Year's Eve, a rare Blue Moon.

Blue Moons were a nightmare for Remus, with his body taking on even more strain and stress at the beginning and the end of the month. He counted himself lucky that this one was taking place at home rather than at school. 

There was a knock on his door and Remus' eyes flicked to it, where the wood was slowly pushed open and his mother poked her head into the room. 

"Merry Christmas," She whispered. Remus' eyes widened as he realised.

_It's Christmas._

“You have some letters downstairs as well. Your father is making a fry up, so I suggest you get down there before he steals all the bacon." 

Remus threw off his duvet and he and his mother hurried downstairs, Remus still in his pyjamas, with bare feet and wild hair and bright, excited eyes. 

The kitchen smelt wonderful, and the living room was colourful with the decorations that his parents had put up. 

"Merry Christmas, Dad!" Remus said. 

"Merry Christmas, Remus," Lyall replied. Remus slinked towards the living room but was soon caught by his mother, who gently guided him into a seat at the table. 

"Mum!" Remus said, exasperated. 

"You know the rules. Breakfast first, and then presents." Hope said sternly.

Remus fake pouted but soon brightened when his father put a full plate of fried eggs, bacon, sausages, beans and French toast in front of him. 

He tucked in, barely waiting for his parents to sit before he began to stuff it all into his mouth as quickly as he could. 

When the three of them had finished, Remus picked up the letters that were sat on the table in front of him. He recognised the handwriting as that of his friends. 

_Hey Remus,_

_Merry Christmas, hope Wales is as exciting as London this time of year.  
_

_Probably a lot colder where you are, but you might be lucky enough to get snow, which I'm really jealous of. We barely ever get enough snow here to actually have snowball fights in or go sledging._

_Been getting up to all sorts pranks-wise with my dad. My mum’s had to confiscated all our prank items so we won’t spoil Christmas Day._

_Anyway, here_ _are some of my mum's famous Christmas cookies. There are three packs, one for you and one each for your parents. Mum's been so busy in the kitchen trying to make them for yours, Sirius, and Peter's families. We all hope you enjoy them._

_See you in the New Year, don't hesitate to write!_

_James_

Remus smiled at the bunch of cookies, each shaped like stars or presents or Christmas trees. They were looped in with the letter, threaded through a hole in the parchment and knotted tightly. He gently unpicked them and handed one pack to both of his parents. 

"They're from James." He said. "His mum made them for us. And for Peter and Sirius' families, too." 

"How lovely!" Hope said, smiling down at them. "We'll have to send them a thank you letter. Who else did you get a letter from?"

"Peter and Sirius, by the look of it," Remus said. He picked up the one from Peter.

_Merry Christmas Remus!!!!!!!_

_I don't know if you can tell, but I'm really excited! Christmas is my favourite time of year._

_Did you get the cookies that James' mum made? They're so delicious! My parents, my sister and I are in shock at how it's even possible for something to taste so good!_

_Oh, Merlin, I hope I haven't ruined the surprise. The Potters lives just outside Essex, and I live in Central London, so I imagine I got mine before you.  
_

_I suppose I could send this letter on Christmas Eve so that it arrives by Christmas Day. Hopefully, James’ owl will have done the rounds by then._

_Sorry I didn't send you any baked treats. My family are terrible at cooking. We burn water. Seriously. We have two house-elves to help us with it. We are getting better though. Maybe another year._

_Either way, I hope home is treating you well. Can't to see you all again!_

_Peter_

When Remus picked up Sirius' letter, he felt a slight bit of dread creep in.

He hadn't written to any of his friends since the term had finished a week previously, and he was finding himself thinking about them more and more as time went on. 

_Remus,_

_Hope you're having a nice Christmas. Things are a little boring here, but that's normal._

_Mum and Dad have been tolerable, and Reg has been the only thing keeping me sane. I can't wait until he's at school next year. I miss him loads. At least he won't have to be with my parents all the time without me. I worry about him being around them too much._

_I miss you three as well. There's only so many times I can read the same Quidditch magazines over and over. Maybe I should try out for the team next year? I think James is going to as well, he wants to be a Chaser. He'll be a Quidditch star, just you wait._

_There's not really much to say, but I still wanted to write and make sure you didn't worry about me. I really_ am _fine, just desperate to be back at the castle._

 _Thanks for keeping_ you-know-what _on the down-low from James and Peter. It's not a nice thing to have to hide, I know, and I'm sorry I put you in this situation, but it's important, and I really appreciate it._

_Well ... I hope you're enjoying being at home, even if I'm not,_

_Sirius_

"What's wrong?" Lyall asked. Remus folded the letter back up and smiled at his parents. 

"Nothing, just focusing on reading." 

"Which friend was that letter from?" Hope asked. 

Remus hesitated before he responded. "Sirius." 

"The one we met in the wand shop?" Remus nodded. "He seemed like a sweet boy. He smiled and whispered something to you when he was leaving. Is he nice?" 

"Yeah, he's really nice," Remus replied. 

"Oh, come on, Remus, you've barely told us anything about your friends!" 

"Um ... James wants to try out for the Quidditch team next year. And Peter really wants a pet for Christmas. He loves animals. Sirius is the first Black in four hundred years to not be put in Slytherin-"

"He's not in Slytherin? You didn't mention that before." Lyall said. 

"I did. Right at the beginning of the year. But it’s not that important," Remus said. "He's nicer than his cousins. They're very ... old fashioned. Sirius speaks a little like them, and they all look similar, but Sirius is kinder than they are." 

Lyall pondered over the words for a few moments. "I'm glad that you've made some nice friends. Just ... be careful." 

Remus knew that the words, 'be careful' were coming, but somehow they still hit him like a ton of bricks.

He supposed he'd never escape from those words, of always having to be careful around everyone, of always having to be distrustful and cut off from those around him. 

"What do you say we open some presents?" Hope said, breaking the slight silence that had formed around the table.

Lyall gestured briefly with his wand and the dishes stacked themselves, whizzing over to sink ready to be washed as the three Lupins moved over into the living room and settled themselves there. 

~

January 3rd 1972 - The Hogwarts Express

"Remus!" Remus looked up just in time to see Peter running at him. He grinned widely and braced himself as Peter barrelled into him. 

"Hiya, Pete, how've you been!" Remus asked. Peter pulled away, cheeks pink and blue eyes bright. 

"Brilliant! I got a crup puppy for Christmas! But I'm not allowed to bring her with me to Hogwarts, she isn't trained yet and the staff don't accept anything other than cats, rats, toads or owls." Peter deflated a little at that. 

"It's alright. She'll be waiting for you the next time we go home."

"I'm not going home at Easter. It's going to be six months before I see her." Peter complained.

"She'll be just as excited to see you as she was over Christmas, I'll bet." 

"Really?"

"Really," Remus confirmed.

"What if she forgets me?"

"She won't. You're pretty unforgettable, Pete." 

Peter beamed and introduced himself to Remus' parents as they walked up the platform, Remus' luggage left at the front of the train to be loaded onto the Express. 

"Have you seen James and Sirius?" Peter asked. 

"No, I'd only just gotten onto the platform when I saw you. Have _you_ seen them?" 

"No. Maybe they're waiting in our carriage." 

Remus' eyes scanned over the crowds, searching for the other two members of their ragtag little team.

He hadn't expected himself to grow so fond of them, or to have missed them all so much. He couldn't wait to catch up with them on the train and to be back in their cosy little dormitory tonight, snacking on the sweets they'd gotten over Christmas and trading jokes, the same as they'd done on their first night in September. 

"Hi, Remus! Hi, Peter," Lily said as Remus, Peter, and Remus' parents passed by her and her family. 

"Hey, Lily. Did you have a nice Christmas?" Remus asked. Lily nodded. 

"Did you two?" She asked. 

"I got a crup puppy!" Peter said excitedly. Lily frowned and tilted her head in confusion. 

"A crup is a bit like a dog, except it has two tails," Remus explained. "They're cute." 

Lily chuckled nervously. "I've still got a lot to learn to catch up with you lot, it seems." 

"You'll get there eventually," Remus said confidently. "I-"

"Oi! Remus, Pete, over here!" A voice yelled.

The small group consisting of the Gryffindor first years and Remus' family and Lily's families were immediately drawn to the sight of James and Sirius poking their heads out of one of the windows, trying to get Remus and Peter's attention. 

"Of course it's Potter disrupting everyone's day," Lily said, frowning.

She didn't seem as open to the idea of James as she had been at the beginning of the year, but was friendly enough with Remus, and that's what mattered most to him. 

"He's harmless, really," Remus said. "So's Sirius."

"They're a little immature." Lily pointed out. 

"We're only first years, Lily, no one expects us to bemature." Peter defended. 

"Maybe they don't expect it from _you_ ," A voice drawled. Remus groaned inwardly as Snape approached. "They expect it from the ones that are capable. So that means everyone not in Gryffindor, to dumb it down for you." 

"Severus, don't be mean," Lily said. " _I'm_ a Gryffindor."

"You're the exception," Snape replied. 

"We'll see you at dinner, Lily, we should really get to James and Sirius before they start throwing stink pellets to get our attention," Remus said, trying to distract everyone. 

"Oh. Well ... see you later, you two." Lily said, looking a little disappointed.

Remus said a quick goodbye to his parents, with another series of promises to be careful while he was at school, and he and Peter boarded the train, hurrying to their usual compartment, closing the door and settling with their friends for the first time in two and a half weeks.

James was the same as usual, with wild hair and a chaotic kind of energy around him.

Sirius had had his hair cut, now no longer falling in front of his eyes and neatly trimmed around his ears, with slightly more length in the front to preserve the curl pattern.

He was looking smarter than he had all term, his smart white shirt and trousers and robes all clearly picked out and enforced by his parents. 

He seemed the same, though. Carrying no burdens, no secrets, and Remus hoped to Merlin that that was the case. 

"Some come on then, you two, spill every boring little thing that you've been up to without me and James to brighten up your lives," Sirius said, flashing a toothy smile as he settled himself into a seat. 

And just like that, the Marauders were once again on their way to Hogwarts, making themselves comfortable as they slipped back into the ease of their friendship. 


	11. 1972 - A Family Found In Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus laughed and the four of them almost fell over each other as they ran out of the Tower together, still enjoying this ride of early friendship, of surprising one another. 
> 
> Remus couldn't wait for another six and a half years of this. With any luck, he'd have this well into his adult life, and he was looking forward to the family he found in his friends. 

January 20th 1972 - The Marauders' Dormitory

Remus finally uncovered his ears once he was sure the enchanted card that James had made sing 'Happy Birthday' to Peter had finally stopped.

It had been all James' idea, of course, to use the card as Peter's alarm. James had asked his dad to send it in the post two weeks ago, and the four of them had all signed it. They were planning to sneak down to the kitchens later to steal some sweet treats from whatever was leftover from dinner. 

Peter looked at them blearily as they all piled onto his bed, having sung along to the enchanted card. His smile was sleepy and happy and he sat up, pink starting to spread across his cheeks. 

"Cheers, you lot," He said when they were done. 

"Don't thank us yet, Petey, we still have a lot to get through. It's present time." Sirius said. "First up, James Potter! Hand over your present." 

James produced a wrapped gift with a flourish and Peter tore into it, gasping at the sight of the two boxes of the limited edition of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans, Peter's favourite sweets. 

Next up was Sirius, who gave Peter a stack of Chocolate Frog cards that he had doubles of that Peter needed to add to his collection.

Peter was wide awake by this point, and beaming so brightly and widely that Remus wouldn't have been surprised if his face split open. 

"And last, but not least, is Remus," James said. As Peter opened the wrapping paper to the gift Remus had given him, he looked at the book in his lap in awe. 

"Enchanted crosswords!" He gasped. "A whole _book_ of them! Remus, this is incredible!" 

"I'm glad you like it," Remus said sheepishly. 

"Thanks, you three. You're brilliant." Peter said earnestly, looking up at the boys in front of him. "This has been the best birthday ever."

"Of course it has! You're spending it with us!" Sirius said. He heaved himself off the bed and stood, clapping his hands together once and commanding the attention. "Now! Next order of business!" He faltered and frowned, leaning down to whisper to Remus. "Remus, what's next on the agenda?"

"Breakfast," Remus prompted quietly. 

"I knew we kept you around for a reason," Sirius teased and Remus rolled his eyes. "So the next order of business is breakfast. All rise! Put on your uniforms, quick and snappy, lads. Unfortunately, it's a Thursday, so we must go to boring, drab, dull lessons and hand in equally boring, drab and dull homework that we haven't completed-"

" _I've_ done it," Peter interrupted.

"I just have the conclusion to do for Herbology," Remus added. 

"Same here, just gotta add a little more for Potions." James finished. Sirius looked at them all in disbelief. 

"Unbelievable." He said. "Right, well, you're all gonna have to give me a hand then, aren't you? We'll sort something out over breakfast. Get dressed, uniforms have to look smart, this is Peter's day and we're going to look magnificent. Hop to it!" 

The Marauders did indeed hop to it as they manoeuvred around each other and dressed, standing tall and proud as they waltzed into the Great Hall for breakfast fifteen minutes later. 

"You're looking awfully smart today, boys," Alice Fortescue remarked. "Had a change of heart regarding the childish term you had before Christmas?" 

"Not at all, dear Alice," Sirius said. 

"Don't call me dear, Black," Alice replied. 

"Oh? Would you rather another Gryffindor called you dear? Perhaps one with a particularly unfortunate last name regarding a long backside?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow. 

"Knock it off, Sirius, this is Peter's day, not yours," James said. 

"You're right, you're right. My apologies, Mr Pettigrew." Sirius replied, holding his hands up in surrender.

The joy in Peter's face was infectious, and when the word 'birthday' was inevitably mentioned, a large chorus of good wishes was launched Peter's way all the way through the meal. 

Remus remarked that he could get used to this, the warm welcomes and kindness from the people in his house, the celebratory nature of everyone around them.

It was a viciously cold day, but he didn't feel it. He was happy for Peter, seeing him thrive and stand taller with every minute that seemed to pass. It gave him hope that McGonnagall was right.

Times _were_ changing, and people were nicer than they had been when his parents had been young. 

Remus hoped that it would last.

~

February 8th 1972 - The Great Hall

"Where's Black?" Lily asked, frowning at the absence of Sirius as she settled in a space at the table at dinner. 

"Dunno, one of the seventh years gave him a letter in the common room earlier, said that it was off one of his cousins and it was important. He told us not to wait up for him and went up to the dorm. We haven't seen him for about an hour." James replied as he shovelled some mashed potatoes onto his plate. 

"Do you think he's okay?" Lily asked. 

"What do you care?" Peter responded. "You don't even like Sirius."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I don't want anyone to be upset."

"He'll be fine," James dismissed. "Besides, Evans, he'd go to _us_ if something was wrong, not you. _We're_ his friends."

"Fine, be like that." Lily scoffed, standing and moving further along the table. 

Five minutes later, Sirius slid into the place where Lily had been sat, looking miserable. 

"What's up?" James asked. "You look peeved."

"That doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now." Sirius sulked. He looked up at the Marauders, and they all knew that this was the time to drop the jokes and the banter. Right now, Sirius needed them. "The letter was from my parents. Rodolphus has proposed to Bellatrix. They're getting married in the summer. I should expect an invitation from Bella any day now. That's why she's not been around that much the last week, they've been at the Lestrange house."

"Damn." Was all James said. 

"Damn indeed," Sirius said sullenly.

They sat in silence for the rest of the meal, sensing Sirius' inability to be much more than devastated.

A wedding meant that he would have to spend time with his extended family instead of just his parents. It included his cousins that were in Slytherin, and it was bound to make Sirius' life hell over the summer as the final details of the wedding were put in place. 

This summer would not end well for Sirius, that was for sure.

~

March 2nd 1972 - The Marauder's Dormitory

"Mr Lupin, is that a limp I see?" Madame Pomfrey called as Remus tried his hardest to walk properly out of the Hospital Wing. 

"No, of course not, Madame Pomfrey," Remus said sweetly, turning around and putting on his most innocent looking face. It looked fake, he knew it did. There was no hiding the fatigue and the look of an ill, Victorian child in the way he hunched slightly. 

"Don't lie to me, come back here," She said, beckoning him over.

Remus sighed and stopped trying to put on a show. It had been a rough full moon two days ago, he'd been holed away and hidden from everyone, though he knew that his friends had been searching for him.

They didn't know he was here, or what lies Madame Pomfrey had told them to throw them off the scent. All he knew for the entirety of yesterday was a fever and an ache that was in his very bones. 

He settled on the bed that Madame Pomfrey had set up for him once a month, leg stretched in front of him, and Madame Pomfrey threw up a Silencing Charm. 

"What's wrong?" She asked. 

"It's just a little leftover soreness." Remus insisted. "I'm okay, honestly. I'll be fine by midday, I was off my feet for all of yesterday and everything was really painful, but it's okay."

"The pains will only get worse if you don't start taking care of yourself." Madame Pomfrey said. "And it's my responsibility to make sure you're safe and all healed up."

"I'm never _going_ to be all healed up," Remus said. "There's no cure. It's just this, for the rest of my life. No matter what happens, this is going to kill me. I know that. It might even kill me before I leave Hogwarts."

"What a morbid thing to say!" Madame Pomfrey exclaimed. "Whoever told you such a thing?" 

Remus shrunk slightly.

"There was a Blue Moon in December, I had to have another full moon at home. My mum was worried about my injuries, and Dad told her that it would probably continue to get worse until it kills me. My body won't be able to handle it forever. There are some months or seasons where I have an extra transformation. It's too much. I'm going to die early, there's no point in skirting around it." 

Madame Pomfrey looked at him, worry etched into her features, into her posture. 

"Listen to me, Remus Lupin," She said, sternness creeping into her voice. "You will _not_ die on my watch. I want to see you at least once a fortnight from now on for private healing sessions. I'm not going to spend the next seven years patching you up for you to be left on your own in the real world and undo all of my hard work. Do you understand?" 

Remus was too in shock to respond for a moment and then nodded quickly, not wanting to risk angering her. The response seemed to please Madame Pomfrey and she settled again, her demeanour returning to its usual calm and collected state. 

"Now," She started. "What hurts, and is there anything that helps aches and pains when you have full moons at home?" 

Remus smiled and the two of them began finishing up whatever repairs to Remus' body they could manage before dinner. 

~

March 5th 1972 - The Marauders Dormitory

"Hey, Remus?" Peter asked timidly. Remus looked up from where he was flicking through the pages of his Potions textbook, trying to understand some of the terms. 

"What's up?" 

"I - I - well ... _we_ , meaning the three of us ... we wanted to ask you about something." 

"Right," Remus said, dragging the word out so it sounded like a question. He looked to James and Sirius, who were currently torn between looking at Peter, Remus and the game of Exploding Snap they were playing on the floor. 

"We just ... we wanted to know if everything was, you know ... okay," Peter said. "At home, we mean." 

"Yeah, everything's fine. Why?" Remus asked, frowning. 

"It's just ... you disappear sometimes," Peter said.

"A lot," James corrected. "You disappear for a day or two a lot." 

Remus felt cold all over then, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up and fear dropping into the pit of his stomach, crushing him like an anvil. It was everything he could do to just breathe.

"You always look ill when you go away. The last time it happened, we didn't see you for two days. When you came back, you still looked terrible and you were limping." James said.

While Madame Pomfrey hadn't managed to completely get rid of whatever ache was going on with his leg, she had managed to reduce it slightly. Remus was walking better now, and he would be fine by the time his birthday came in just five days.

He wasn't looking forward to it, knowing that his parents would probably send a card full of glitter just to embarrass him at school, and everyone would be paying him so much attention that he really didn't want.

They'd want to make a fuss now, because it had been a year since he'd gotten his acceptance letter, and everything was going so well for him at school.

They thought things were changing and that, by the time Remus left school, things would've changed enough for him to lead a normal life. It was a hope that they'd held onto for years now, that something would work in their favour and turn out right for once. 

"My mum's ill," Remus said.

It wasn't strictly untrue. His mum had small battles with infections that could knock her out for weeks.

She had had a run-in with polio as a child, and she had never fully recovered. Her immune system was weak, and each infection left her in a weaker state than the last. She likely wouldn't get any better. Not without some kind of intervention. But the nearest place that offered treatment was in Cardiff, and she was nowhere sick enough yet.

It had been an unspoken cloud looming over the family that, like Remus, she was seemingly destined and doomed to die young. Remus only hoped to reach her age, to get as far as his late thirties and to have accomplished something resembling a family by then. He didn't want to be alone. 

"She's a Muggle. There's not a lot we can do to help her," Remus said. "I'm allowed go back to them once a month, my dad books a day off work and we take some of the load off her shoulders. Sometimes I drop things on my feet by accident, or I pull a muscle, which is why I limp and why I'm so tired. Me and my dad are really worried about her. We don't know how much more of it she can take." 

It was all a lie, which he was getting better at, peppered with some aspects of truth. Each time his mother was ill, Remus and Lyall fretted the entire time, unsure whether or not this would be too fatal for her to recover from. It got worse and worse each time.

Remus' friends were watching him carefully, wanting to make sure he got it all off his chest without interrupting, and once they were sure he was finished, they all stood and came over, sat on his bed and gave him their best and bravest smiles. 

"It's okay, Remus, she'll be alright. Sometimes people have to get worse before they get better." James said. 

"And you don't have to carry that on your shoulders all the time, you know," Sirius said. "You can talk to us whenever you need to. If my brother was that ill, I'd be really scared."

"We're your friends, and we just want you to be alright," Peter said. "We're always here for you, Remus. No matter what happens."

"Once a Marauder, always a Marauder," James said lightly. Remus smiled at them, feeling overwhelmed at the support they were giving him, even though part of his rambling speech had been a lie. 

"Thanks, you lot." He said gratefully. "How about we go and raid the kitchens to make ourselves feel a bit better? James, where's the cloak?" 

"You read my mind," James said, tumbling off the bed before he'd even finished speaking.

Remus laughed and the four of them almost fell over each other as they ran out of the Tower together, still enjoying this ride of early friendship, of surprising one another. 

Remus couldn't wait for another six and a half years of this. With any luck, he'd have this well into his adult life, and he was looking forward to the family he found in his friends. 


	12. 1972 - The First Of Many

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus ran through the corridors, his tie still loose and shirt untucked, his bag slamming against his hip and his robes half hanging off his shoulders, cursing the other boys for choosing this morning of all mornings to be quiet. 

March 10th 1972 - Lower East Floor 

_Damn them all,_ was one of the primary thoughts running through Remus' head as he raced through the castle.

James, Sirius and Peter hadn't been in the dormitory when he'd woken up, leaving Remus to wake up ten minutes before his first lesson was due to begin. 

Remus ran through the corridors, his tie still loose and shirt untucked, his bag slamming against his hip and his robes half hanging off his shoulders, cursing the other boys for choosing _this_ morning of all mornings to be quiet. 

He already had to contend with the possibility of his parents showering him with attention even with the whole of England separating them.

That was without the series of essays he had to hand in, the next prank that James wanted to pull, and worrying about what to buy James for his birthday.

Remus also had to worry about whether or not he was staying at Hogwarts over Easter, then exams and then summer and _then_ the start of a whole new year. 

And now he might be _late._

Remus was relieved when he arrived at the Lower East Corridor and burst into Greenhouse Two with the other first years just as the last of them were entering.

It was dim inside, some kind of charm cast over the room, presumably for the sake of whatever was in the containers at the main desk.

His ribs ached, and his shoulder was screaming at him to _get that bloody Weightlessness Charm sorted_ , and _there_ were his friends, stood in the corner, chattering away like they hadn't left him behind.

They were grinning about something, and their lips were moving too fast for Remus to read them, the sound of other first years causing a ruckus drowning out their words. 

"Are you alright, Remus?" Lily asked from Remus' shoulder. She followed his line of sight to where he was staring at his friends. "Is something wrong with the others?" 

Remus shook his head. "No," He said. "No, nothing's wrong." 

"Would you like to be my partner for today?" Lily asked. 

"What about Snape?" Remus frowned. 

"He's got Mulciber or Rosier." She dismissed.

When Remus tilted his head slightly in confusion, she pointed to two boys. One taller, with dark, almost black hair and a thin frame. The other was shorter, with light brown curls trimmed neatly.

"The taller one is Mulciber. I don't know his first name. The short one with the curls is Evan Rosier. Usually, Augustus Rookwood and Antonin Dolohov are with them, but they're both off sick with the flu." 

"You're all friends?" Remus was nervous about the idea of so many Slytherins surrounding Lily. She spent more time with them than anyone else, and they all seemed ... _off_.

"Not really," Lily said. "I just know their names because _Sev_ is friends with them. They make me nervous." 

"About Snape ..." Remus trailed off. "I know it's been months, and you've probably both forgotten about it by now, but I _did_ want to apologise about what happened in the Potions classroom the other month. I shouldn't have spoken to Snape that way, and Sirius and James shouldn't have done either. It was just a desk, there was no need for such a fuss." 

Lily smiled softly at him. 

"I was more annoyed about what Sirius and James said, there was no reason for it. You only said anything when Sev took it too far, and you _did_ try to pull them away. Thank you, though. I appreciate it. Let’s partner up today, a bit of a break from the others is exactly what you need, and I’m more than happy to be that."   
  
Remus smiled. “Thanks, Lily.”

"Attention, first years!" Professor Sprout, entering the greenhouse from. "Partner up, we're learning about Devil's Snare today, and I won't have any of you tending to them alone." 

"Remus!" James called from the other Marauders' spot in the corner. He beckoned for Remus and pointed at Peter, who Remus usually partnered with. 

"Sorry Peter, Remus and I are partnering up today," Lily replied. 

Remus tried to swallow the guilt clogging up his throat as he turned from his friends and followed Lily over to a spot at the main counter. 

"Lil?" Snape said, spotting Lily and frowning at her when she brought Remus with her. 

"Sorry, Severus, Remus needs a partner for today, he's not really feeling up to his usual friends," Lily explained. "I offered to be his partner, before you say anything. I know you don't like James and Sirius, but don't rule out all Gryffindors just because of the few childish ones."

"But-" Snape started.

"I don't judge _your_ friends just because of _their_ house, please don't do it to mine." Lily interrupted. 

Snape sighed and seemed to soften, letting the guard drop just briefly. 

"Alright, I'll go over and ask Rosier." He said. "See you after lesson." 

Lily smiled at him as he left. Remus relaxed slightly, focusing on the medium-sized containers in front of them, as Professor Sprout called for their attention again. 

~

March 10th 1972 - The Great Hall 

When Remus wandered into the Great Hall for dinner, it was after spending a large majority of the day with Lily.

She was a lot more fun than he'd expected, with a broader understanding of the Muggle world than Remus had even with his Muggle mother. Lily had introduced him to a piece of technology that allowed him to listen to music anytime he wanted. 

Cassettes were all the rage in the Muggle world, Lily had explained, and she had let him borrow it for the rest of the day. 

As Remus walked, he found himself to be in a happier mood listening to whatever tape Lily had left inside the transparent deck. He hadn't wanted to disturb her things, and as he peered into the deck, could just about make out the words, 'I Want You Back - Jackson Five', scribbled on the cassette.

His mother listened to whatever was on the wizarding radio that Lyall had bought them, so Remus' exposure to Muggle music was limited.

He slid into a space on the bench, reaching forward to pile food onto his plate. 

Lily appeared a few minutes later, sitting across from him. Remus took the headphones off, and they smiled at each other. Remus handed the cassette deck back to her.

"Did you like it?" She asked. “The cassettes, I mean?”

"It's amazing," Remus admitted. "I really like the song that you left in here." 

"I love the Jackson Five. You should ask your parents for one for your birthday or for Christmas. Whichever comes first. When _is_ your birthday?" 

Remus swallowed his food and shrugged, feeling his face heat up. "Oh, um ... it's today." He said quietly. 

Lily's eyes widened. "It's your birthday today, and no one's made a fuss?! Not even the boys?" Remus shook his head, and she clenched her jaw. "No wonder you're annoyed at them! They made a fuss over Peter and Sirius' birthdays! And I bet they'll do it for Potter's, whenever his is." 

"Two and a half weeks." Remus clarified. 

"Where are they?" She asked, looking around the table and straining to look past everyone. 

"Lily-"

"Don't you dare suggest it's unimportant, Remus!" Lily exclaimed. "It's your birthday, and those _idiots_ haven't even bothered to remember! They're supposed to be your friends!" 

"Who's forgotten who's birthday?" A voice asked. Remus looked up to see Marlene, Dorcas, Mary and Emmeline Vance squeezing into the bench beside Lily. 

"No one," Remus said. 

"James, Sirius and Peter forgot that it's Remus' birthday today!" Lily said absently, still looking around for the others.

"It's not a big deal," Remus said. "My parents and I usually don't do much, I'm used to it." 

"You only have one birthday a year though! It's _your_ day!" Dorcas said. 

"If we'd have known, we would've said something sooner. Sorry, Remus." Marlene said. 

"Happy birthday." Mary and Emmeline said in unison. The two of them were closer than even James and Sirius, often seeming to be on some kind of wavelength only they were in tune to. 

"Wotcher, Remus!" Someone said, and Remus looked up. James, Sirius and Peter were standing at his shoulder, not sitting down, even though there was plenty of space. 

"You alright?" Remus replied. "You three have been quiet today."

"And _you've_ been avoiding us." James retorted. 

"Only because you three avoided me first," Remus said. "I'm not dumb, you know. You all got up at the arse crack of dawn this morning, got ready in dead silence, and left without me. It's lucky I even got to Herbology at all!" 

"You shouldn't rely on us to be your alarm clock," Sirius said, the hint of a smile around his lips. 

"Don't be an idiot, Black," Remus spat. "If you came here to just stand at my shoulder and make me feel bad, then congratulations, you've succeeded. Now let me get on with my dinner in peace."

He returned to his dinner, barely in the mood to do much more than halfheartedly shove heapings of lasagna into his mouth. 

"We came over to you because we're your mates and we want to sit with you," Peter said. 

"And to give you your birthday presents," Sirius added. Remus stopped, looked back to the others and frowned. 

"What?" 

"We know you said you don't do much for your birthday at home, so we wanted to change it." James shrugged. "We intercepted your letter from your parents this morning, that's why we got up so early. We honestly didn't mean to almost make you late for Herbology, it just sort of ... worked out that way."

"We were talking about your birthday feast this morning in class, that's why we were huddled up in a corner," Peter explained. 

"It was all supposed to be a bunch of surprises throughout the day," Sirius said. "But you paired with Lily in every single lesson, and you seemed a little down, so we tried to keep our distance and thought we'd just surprise you in the dorm later."

"But we got impatient," Peter said. 

Each of them brought something out of their pockets. There were two letters, and each of them was holding a small parcel.

James was carrying an extra letter and parcel; which were probably the ones from Remus' parents. They sat beside him and put their items on the table in front of Remus, looking at him pointedly.

Remus glanced to Lily briefly, unsure about whether what he was seeing was real.

He saw her regarding the other three Marauders with a curious gaze like she couldn't quite believe that she'd been wrong about them. 

So he paid attention to what was in front of him and opened the letters first.

The first he picked up was from his parents and was an essay longer than every History of Magic homework Remus would ever complete put together.

He read through it, smiling all the while, able to sense the love and joy his parents breathed into every word. 

The other letter was from his friends, which sung just as Peter's had, and Remus groaned, burying his face in his hands as the attention of most of the Hall was drawn to him. 

"I hate you all." He said to his friends, and they just grinned wickedly in response. 

"Here, open the presents," James said, pushing more parcels towards Remus. 

Remus did so, seeing a few Chocolate Frogs under the wrapping paper of James' parcel, a Gobstones set from Peter, followed by a new copy of Advanced Defense Against the Dark Arts by Galatea Merrythought from Sirius. 

"Sirius, this ... this isn't just a book, this is a first edition!" Remus gasped. "I can't take this, it must've been so expensive!" 

"Nonsense!" Sirius dismissed. "My family have three first editions of it in the library at home, and I thought you might like it. You seem really interested in the subject, so why not give you something that'll put you miles ahead of us when the time comes to use the spells?" 

"You haven't read it?" Remus asked. 

Sirius shook his head and turned his nose up. "Not really a Defense person myself. Charms, that's where my talents lie." 

"You're a brilliant flyer, too." Remus offered. 

Sirius smiled. "Yeah, I guess I am." 

"Well? Do you like it all?" James asked, practically bouncing up and down in his seat. 

"I love it," Remus said. "Thanks, guys. Sorry for assuming the worst." 

"You don't have to apologise, Remus. We just wanted to make your day special." Peter said. 

"I think this calls for a toast," Sirius announced. 

"To what?" Remus asked. 

"Our birthdays at Hogwarts, where we can celebrate however we like with _whoever_ we like," Sirius said. He raised a goblet of pumpkin juice "To the first of many happy birthdays." 

As Remus raised his glass and clinked it against his friends, mimicking their decision to down their drinks in one go, one thought crossed his mind. 

_Maybe I could get used to celebrating my birthday after all._


	13. 1972 - A World Of Mischief and Mayhem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before Remus realised it, he was thrust back into a world of mischief and mayhem as he and his friends took every opportunity ahead of them to play pranks.

March 30th 1972 - The Fifth Floor 

James' birthday came and went with much of the same flair for dramatics as the other Marauder's birthdays had contained. Cards and presents and a dramatic entrance into the Great Hall, all the usual activities that people had begun to expect whenever they found out which of the boys' birthdays it was. 

Before Remus realised it, he was thrust back into a world of mischief and mayhem as he and his friends took every opportunity ahead of them to play pranks. They bribed students from older years into getting supplies for them in exchange for dealing 'justice' to rivals. They always asked for a little extra than they needed for the pranks they pulled of their own volition, of course, and it was all kept in the nooks and crannies of the boys' dormitory. 

There was a loose section in the panelling behind the headboard of Sirius' bed that the group hid stink pellets in. 

The canopy above James' bed had a small, barely noticeable slit that James had noticed while staring up at it one evening. The group used it to hide belch powder. 

Peter had found a ceiling panel in the bathroom that was now used as a hiding spot for Hiccough sweets. The group was looking forward to Transfiguring them into regular food and slipping them into people's dinners. 

Remus had a hollow section of his bedframe, where they hid their plans for pranks, as well as the list of hidden passageways they'd found so far. 

Currently, they were sprinting through intersecting corridors across the fifth floor. They were trying to find their way back to the common room using the quieter parts of the castle that Filch was less likely to check. 

"Take a right at the top of the corridor!" Peter panted. 

James threw a glance over his shoulder from where he was running at the front of the group, making sure that everyone was still behind him. When he was satisfied that his friends were close behind, he focused ahead again, taking a sharp right and coming out at the moving staircases. 

"We're too out in the open here," James said. 

"We can't double back," Peter said. 

"Filch wouldn't expect us to use the staircases." Remus pointed out.

"We can't risk it," Sirius said. "If my cousins catch wind of this, they'll go mad. Detentions, I can deal with, but not Bellatrix." 

"It's either we use the staircases and risk the shortcut, or we double back and get caught by Filch," Remus said. "Only one of those options would end with your cousins finding out who put those mice in Narcissa's pockets."

Sirius thought it over, glancing back into the corridor they'd emerged from, weighing the outcomes. 

"Okay," He sighed. "Remus is right. Let's risk it."

The four of them navigated the staircases warily, each pair of eyes watching the alcoves for Filch while also making sure they got onto the correct staircase next. 

When they reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, they muttered the password - _Flobberworm_ \- and waltzed into the common room, smiles on their faces, and saw some fifth years sprawled over the sofas. 

As they all made eye contact, the common room erupted into noise. 

Sirius had managed to make allies out of the older Gryffindors. He'd found out that Narcissa had been unfairly docking house points against any Gryffindor she came across while allowing Bellatrix - and other Slytherins - to wander around the castle after curfew. 

That, of course, had given Sirius the idea of sneaking mice into his cousin's pockets. They'd managed to sneak two out of the Transfiguration classroom and waited inside a passageway for Narcissa to go back to the dungeons from Prefect duty. When she'd finally shown up, Peter had snuck forward under James' Invisibility Cloak and snuck the mice gently into her pockets when her back was turned. 

Sirius knew that his cousin put a Weightlessness charm on her pockets as well as an Undetectable Extension Charm for putting aside 'illegal' items she found students carrying. He also knew that Narcissa was terrified of mice and rats. She adored reptiles and arachnids, having many of them as pets at home, but always freaked out whenever she caught sight of rodents. 

They'd hightailed it from there, and had realised halfway back to their dorm that Filch was contending with an angry Bellatrix, snarling at him to find out who had pranked her sister. 

It turned out, Narcissa did a routine check of all the items she'd confiscated each patrol. When she'd found rodents in her pockets, she'd almost screamed the whole Slytherin common room and the dormitories down. 

"How'd it go? Does she know yet?" One of the fifth year Gryffindors asked. 

"Yeah, we caught Bellatrix giving Filch a scare near the Great Hall," Sirius said. "She threatened him. Said that if he wanted to keep his job, he'd find the people who'd snuck mice from the Transfiguration classroom into her sister's pockets. She suggested that he start with one of the few people who knew how scared Narcissa is of rodents. Me." 

"We tried to sneak away, but Filch heard one of the portraits tell us off for eavesdropping, so we've been on a wild goose chase for the last twenty minutes trying to avoid him," James added. 

"Still, it serves that cow right." One of the fifth years said. "No offence, Black."

"None taken," Sirius replied. "She's a cow at family events, too."

"Any chance you can do something similar to one of the other Black sisters? The one with black hair?" Another fifth-year asked. Sirius scoffed. 

"Not a chance. I'm already going to have to keep my head down for the next few days so that Bellatrix doesn't try to kill me. I'm not so stupid that I'll put myself at risk of being thrown from the moving staircases." 

"Isn't there another sister?" 

"I'm not going after Andy," Sirius said bluntly. "She just ... has to play the game in front of her parents and her sisters, make them think she's like them. I won't go after her." 

The fifth years looked a little disappointed at that but thanked the Marauders again for the revenge tactic they'd pulled. It left the group to make their way back up to the dormitory, the success of a prank making them all relax and the strain of the last few days melt away. 

Teachers had been piling on the reminders about being almost three-quarters of the way through the year already, that before the could blink, the end of year exams would be in front of them. Remus and his friends weren't bothered about them for the most part, having too much fun just existing inside the castle to actually care. 

_How different things are now to how they were at the beginning of the year,_ Remus thought. 

In September he had promised himself every night that he would take each day seriously and do everything he could to make his time at Hogwarts worth it. 

But now, he was finding it so much harder to stick to those promises. 

_I promised them to my father, not to myself_ , part of him whispered in the back of his head. 

"All okay, Remus?" James asked, jolting Remus out of his thoughts. Remus shook his head slightly to remove the conflicting thoughts whizzing around and smiled at his friend. 

"Yeah, everything's fine." He said, grabbing his pyjamas and going into the bathroom to get changed.

Hours later, when his friends were snoring in their beds, Remus stared up at the canopy above him, thinking about what Sirius had said to the fifth years. 

_She's playing the game to make them think she's like them._

Remus couldn't help but think he had something in common with a Slytherin after all. Both playing a game to suit others, to fit in and keep themselves safe. 

Both with so much to lose if the game slipped through their fingers.

~

April 14th 1972 - Potions 

"And don't forget your revision preparation for next lesson!" Slughorn called as the class began to pack up. "We'll be going over Wiggenweld Potion, so be sure to bring your notes from September and October. It'll be in your end of year exam, and I expect every one of you to pass the questions with flying colours. Miss Evans, can I have a moment of your time, please?" 

Lily left her bag at the table she shared with Snape, Rosier and Gideon Bulstrode. Bulstrode was another Slytherin that had wormed his way into a friendship with Snape and his cronies. 

Snape had been relatively quiet towards the Marauders all year, but they could often catch him glaring at them from across a room when he thought they weren't looking. 

Most of the time, he kept close to Lily, both in general and physically. There was almost always brushing arms, and always chatting away to each other. 

"What do you think Evans is friends with Snape for?" James asked, staring at the Slytherin while absently shoving things into his bag. 

"What does it matter?" Peter asked. 

"They grew up in the same town," Remus said. "They met two years ago when Snape saw Lily with her family. She was making flowers grow in her hands and her sister called her a freak. So Snape caught Lily's attention by picking up a leaf and making it fly over to her. He didn't want her to feel alone." 

"How'd you know _that_?" James asked, pulling a face. Remus shrugged.

"Lily told me." He replied. 

"When?" Sirius asked. 

"A few weeks ago. We're friends." 

"I thought _we_ were your friends," James said. 

"You _are,_ " Remus confirmed. "So is Lily. I can have more than three friends, you know. _And_ I can be friends with a girl. Maybe you should all try it sometime, it might help."

"Help with what?" Peter asked. 

"Getting your Potions grades up, for a start." Remus grinned, nodding down at the three matching essays with bright red _Poor_ written across Peter, James and Sirius' parchment. 

Remus had been more than happy with the _Acceptable_ he'd somehow managed to scrape in this particular essay based on the herbicide potion they'd made the week before.

He found Potions interesting, but it was nowhere near his favourite subject. He leaned more towards Charms or Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lily had helped him a little with his work, giving him nudges in the right direction. She seemed to have a natural knack for Potions.

"Pfft, the only girl that's good at Potions in this class is Evans, and there's no way I'm stepping foot near _that_ firecracker." Sirius scoffed.

"She's really nice, Sirius. Aren't you even going to _try_?" Remus said. 

"No way." Sirius shook his head. "She's barely ever away from her greasy little pet, and I bet she'd want us to be nice to him as well. I'd be careful if I were you. Before you know it, both of you will get sucked into going Dark, just like my cousins. Snape will end up just like them, I bet." 

The words stung and made Remus recoil. 

"Don't be so narrowminded, Sirius." He said quietly. 

"Why shouldn't I be?" Sirius asked, looking Remus dead in the eye. "History doesn't exactly favour your point of view, Remus. More Slytherins go Dark than anyone else." 

"Times are changing," Remus said, echoing the words that McGonnagall had spoken to him months ago. "And besides, the winners write history, you know. It doesn't always make them right. Once upon a time, _all_ purebloods frowned upon marrying and having children with Muggles. And now look, there are more half-bloods than purebloods these days. People change and get better if you give them a chance." 

Sirius tilted his head slightly, observing Remus with a curious look on his face. 

"You sound awfully wise for a twelve-year-old, Remus."

"My dad said it once," Remus shrugged. "He was talking to my mum and me about some rising tensions between the blood statuses at work. He didn't want me to get to Hogwarts and start to think that I was lesser because I'm not a pureblood." 

"Isn't that cute?" A sneer came from behind Remus. He looked over his shoulder and found Snape. Remus just turned back around and carried on packing away the bits of parchment and stationary and his textbook back into his bag. "Not got anything smart to say this time, Lupin?" 

"No," Remus said simply. "After all, I'm pretty average, and yet everything I say is still too smart for you to understand." 

James, Sirius and Peter caught their snickers behind their hands and well-timed coughing fits, and Remus sent them all halfhearted glares before turning to face Snape again. 

He really wasn't in the mood for Snape today. And while he'd apologised to Lily for the nasty words he'd exchanged with Snape in September, it seemed to be one of the few things that got rid of the other boy. 

"I didn't come over here to argue," Snape said. 

"I smell a lie," Sirius said. "A sneaky, snakey little Slytherin lie." 

"Sirius, don't be an idiot." Remus shot over his shoulder. 

"What do you want, Snape?" James asked.

"Stay out of it, Potter," Snape snapped. "My problem is with Lupin, not you." 

"If you have a problem with one of us-" Peter started, trying valiantly to be brave. 

"Oh, stay out of it, you fat little freak," Snape said. "No one even likes you anyway, so go back to your pumpkin pasties and stop ruining everyone's day." Remus pushed Snape hard, watching as Snape fell backwards and hearing as James and Sirius started yelling.

Remus found himself in a tangle of arms and legs on the floor in an instant, he and Snape throwing whatever limbs they could in any direction and hoping that the black robes they were aiming for belonged to the other person. 

And then Remus found himself being hauled back, his legs scrabbling against the floor of the dungeons as he struggled to regain his balance. 

"What's the meaning of this, boys?" Slughorn bellowed. Remus struggled against Slughorn's grip on the back of his robes. In his other hand, Slughorn had Snape in a similar grip, holding them both as far away from one another as he could. 

"Snape started it!" Remus grunted, still fighting. 

"Lupin's gone mad!" Snape exclaimed. "He's absolutely loony, sir! He just flew at me for no reason!" 

"It wasn't for no reason at all, sir! James said. "Me, Peter and Sirius all heard him say he has a problem with Remus and call Peter a fat little freak." 

"Mr Pettigrew, Mr Black, is this true?" Slughorn asked. 

"Yes, sir," Sirius said. 

"All I was trying to say was that if he had a problem with Remus, he had a problem with all of us," Peter said softly. There was a degree of upset in his eyes, and Remus calmed, seeing how hard Peter was trying to keep it all together and not cry. "He was being horrid. Snape started it, sir, I swear."

"Mr Snape-"

"They're lying!" Snape seethed. "They're all lying!" 

"Miss Evans, could you run and get Professor McGonnagall for me, please? She should be in her office." Slughorn said. Lily nodded, and Remus could see that Lily was holding back just as much as Peter was. Her shoulders were tense, and her jaw was clenched so hard that Remus was surprised she didn't wear her teeth down from the pressure. "I want the five of you that were involved to stay. The rest of you hurry along to your next lesson, please."

The rest of the class was hesitant in leaving, all having gathered to watch the brawl, and slowly trickled out. 

"Right, can I trust you two to not rip each other to shreds if I let you go?" Slughorn asked, addressing Snape and Remus. Both nodded and he let go. 

Sirius, James and Peter were immediately leading Remus by the arm over to their desk while Slughorn asked Snape to go back to the desk he shared with Lily, Rosier and Bulstrode.

"Nicely handled, mate," James said as they sat down.

"No, it wasn't" Remus sighed. He looked at Peter guiltily. "Sorry, Pete. It wasn't my fight. You should've been the one having a brawl with him, not me." 

"I would've been useless," Peter said, shaking his head. "Thank you for handling it. I appreciate it." 

Remus smiled. "I'd do it again for any of you." 

He took a deep breath, calmed down considerably now. It had felt good to get his pent up frustrations out and already felt lighter for it. 

_This is a one-off, Remus. No more fighting,_ he forced himself to think. 

But, somehow, that felt like a lie. And Remus, for one, felt confident for whenever the next time came. 


	14. 1972 - The Exception

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus took a deep breath and felt another weight added to his shoulders. A curse that he had to live with was the brutal honesty that adults had to give him. He was never allowed to be too optimistic. He always had to know the worst things that could happen so he could take the precautions to avoid them. 

April 20th 1972 - The Transfiguration Classroom 

Detention, as it turned out, was brutal. 

The Marauders had really had it easy their first time with McGonnagall.

This time, Remus was alone, writing extra notes for his homework as a punishment. It was nearing eight p.m, and his eyes were beginning to burn slightly from staring at the parchment and his textbook for so long. He'd been in the Transfiguration classroom for almost two and a half hours now. 

"Our time is up, Mr Lupin," McGonnagall said. Remus looked up and took a moment to process the words before he began to pack away. "Before you go, I'd like to ask you again if anything is bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me, Professor," Remus replied. 

"This doesn't seem like you," McGonnagall continued. "You've been remarkably well behaved this year, apart from the odd telling off for talking with your friends too much. This is out of character."

"I wasn't going to let Snape get away with talking to Peter the way he did," Remus said stiffly.

Snape, as far as Remus knew, was also attending detentions for the next two weeks, while Remus only had to serve one. 

"And while it's admirable that you're so willing to defend your friends so readily, brawling in classrooms is not the way to go." 

"I know, Professor. It won't happen again." Remus replied. 

McGonnagall observed him for a moment before standing and pulling a letter out of her pocket. 

"This came for you this morning. I took the liberty of retrieving it since you didn't arrive at breakfast." She said, handing the parchment to him. Remus' heart sank at the sight of the handwriting. "I know that you will wish we hadn't told your parents about what happened, but it was necessary. It happens with all students if there are behavioural issues."

 _Behavioural issues. Fantastic. So_ that's _what the staff are going to associate with me now,_ Remus thought. He was already mucking things up, and he hadn't even been at school for a year yet. 

"It's alright, I was kind of expecting it to get back to them somehow." Remus sighed. 

"Don't beat yourself up too much," McGonnagall said. "If I were you, I would carry on as normal and stay away from Mr Snape as much as possible. I would also advise an apology to Miss Evans. She happens to be very upset since this comes after a similar incident with the same student in the same classroom."

"She told you?" Remus asked. McGonnagall shook her head. 

"Not everything, just that there had been some unkind words shared between your friends and Mr Snape, and you'd apologised on behalf of them all." 

"I'll apologise to her as soon as I get back to the tower."

"Be careful to not give yourself another reason to apologise to her. You two as a pair make a nice change from your usual groups of friends. You're a good influence on each other, and I think you may have more in common than you think." McGonnagall advised. Remus nodded and took his leave, speeding out of the Transfiguration classroom and navigating his way through the corridors. 

" _Wait_!" Someone called. Remus turned and saw a familiar head full of striking blonde hair and pale skin. Internally, he groaned. Of course, he got caught out by Narcissa Black when he wasn't actually doing anything wrong this time.

"Before you dock house points, I was in detention with McGonnagall. You can go to her classroom and ask her. She'll confirm it." Remus said. 

"That's not why I want to talk to you, Lupin," Narcissa said. "You're friends with my cousin, aren't you?"

"I am." 

"I know you four put those mice in my pockets, you know." She said. "It's the kind of thought that could only come from Sirius' head. He's always causing problems like that." 

"You can think what you like," Remus said. "We were in the Gryffindor Tower when it happened." 

"I don't believe you," Narcissa said bluntly. "But I'm not as ... _hellbent_ on revenge as my sister. You didn't get caught, there's no evidence to say the four of you actually did anything."

"Okay ... well, thanks for clearing that up, I suppose," Remus said. He felt incredibly uncomfortable having this conversation with Narcissa without the other Marauders. 

"Could you tell Sirius something for me?" Narcissa asked. 

"Why not tell him yourself?" 

"He's not the only one being watched," Narcissa answered. "He's not the only one with pressures from our family." 

"I'm really not the person you should be talking to this about-"

"Just tell him that he needs to be careful at my sister's wedding this summer," Narcissa interrupted. "Tell him that Alphard is close to being blasted off the tapestry, that the same will happen to him if he doesn't start playing along." 

"Blasted off the tapestry?" Remus asked. "What does that mean?" 

"He'll know what it means," Narcissa said. "Just ... tell him. Make sure he contacts Alphard soon before things change and the ties are cut." With that, she backed away and sped in the opposite direction, and Remus felt even more fatigued than he had after he'd left detention. 

_Bloody Blacks. A strange bunch, the lot of them_.

~

"She said that to you?!" Sirius said. 

"Every word," Remus confirmed. "Who's Alphard? What tapestry is she on about? How can you get blasted off it?"

"It's a family thing." Sirius dismissed. He stood, rifled through his bag and took out things to write with, hastily scribbling a letter to someone. 

James was pretending to not be listening, his curtains drawn around him. Peter was busy in the bathroom, taking his time in the shower. 

As soon as Remus had mentioned that Narcissa had approached him, the other two Marauders had retreated to give them some privacy. 

Even though none of them, not even Remus, knew much about Sirius' family apart from the fact that Sirius hated them, they knew that it was best to avoid listening in on conversations about them. It made Sirius tense to have too many people knowing anything about his family. 

Remus had barely managed to apologise profusely to Lily before James and Peter had dragged him upstairs, chatting maddingly about how _amazing_ it had been that Remus had had a fight with Snape in the middle of a classroom in front of a teacher. 

"Sirius, what's going on?" Remus asked. 

"Nothing, it's fine," Sirius dismissed. 

"It's not nothing. If it means you could get hurt-"

"I won't get hurt." Sirius scoffed. 

"Don't be so sure. They're all older than you, they're more skilled at magic-"

"It's not about magic, Remus!" Sirius snapped. "They won't hurt me because I'm the next heir. My mother is the oldest out of her and her brothers, and I'm the eldest out of me and Reg. I inherit everything as soon as my parents kick the bucket. They _need_ me." 

"I don't trust that they won't do anything that puts you in danger," Remus said. Sirius looked up at him then, grey eyes betraying that he knew _exactly_ what Remus was talking about. 

"Don't get involved in my family life, Remus." He said quietly. "It's none of your business." 

"Fine," Remus said. "Don't come crying to me when things go wrong, then. I'm just trying to help." 

He closed the curtains around his bed and got changed. When he'd settled, he tore open the letter from his parents that he'd been dreading reading since McGonnagall had handed it to him. 

_Remus,_

_What's this I hear about you fighting with another student in the Potions classroom? McGonnagall told me everything and I have to say that I'm extremely disappointed._

_You've barely been there for a year and you're not only embarrassing us - as the people that insisted that you were different to the others - but you're also embarrassing yourself._ _I don't want to hear any of your excuses, so please don't write them in a letter._ _I expect the week's worth of detentions and twenty house points taken from you is punishment enough._

_If such a thing happens again, I hope you know that your mother and I won't hesitate to work with the staff to arrange homeschooling for you instead of being at the castle._

_Please behave from now on,_

_Dad_

Remus' hands shook as he read the letter. The last thing he wanted was to have this newfound freedom in the castle ripped away from him. A much as he adored his parents and Wales and their little house in the middle of a field with their chickens and their greenhouse and the warmth of the fireplace roaring in their living room, he couldn't go back to living there full time. 

It was nothing like the magic of Hogwarts. He could be with other people his own age here, and he never wanted to give up the mysteries and the hidden secrets the castle held. 

Remus crumpled up the letter and stuffed it in his trunk, his cheeks still warm from slight embarrassment. The very thought that his parents could and - quite possibly, _would_ \- take him out of Hogwarts for something as simple as a small fight made him feel slightly ashamed. Most other parents wouldn't threaten such a thing, they would be given the benefit of the doubt. 

He tucked himself under his covers and stared up at the fabric above him sullenly until he fell asleep, thinking on how stupidly unfair it all was. 

~

May 31st 1972 - The Hospital Wing 

Remus wheezed, his body still recovering slightly from his last full moon three days ago, and tried not to wince as his ribs ached. 

As he did every two weeks, he busied himself with Madame Pomfrey in learning about treating different types of medicinal plants and powders and tonics and potions that would help to heal even the worst injuries. 

He was currently sat on one of the beds in a random compartment in the Hospital Wing, his legs crossed. 

"Still healing?" Madame Pomfrey asked. She had instructed Remus to take a few clippings from dittany plants for her to store and leave to dry out and condense into a liquid form. 

"It's just the bruising on my ribs," Remus said. "The colour is fading, but the ache is still there."

"Let me see." 

Remus unbuttoned his shirt just enough for the healer to take a look, and she tutted. 

"It's almost finished healing. There's not much I can do for it now." She said. "Remus, what have I told you about making sure that you're eating enough?" 

"I am!" Remus insisted. 

"I don't just mean around the full moon, I mean the rest of the month as well. It's important to keep yourself well-nourished, especially when your condition makes your metabolism work at double time. You're far too skinny for my liking. I can see the outline of your ribs. Am I going to have to speak to those friends of yours to make sure you're eating properly? You know how dramatic they are." 

Remus chuckled slightly and shook his head, able to imagine the kind of attitude they'd take to keeping him well fed. He buttoned up his shirt again and returning to his dittany plant. 

"Madame Pomfrey?" Remus started.

"Yes, dear?" 

"If you were me, and you'd been ... you know, _like me_ , for as long as you could remember, you'd been careful and were as safe as you could be, you'd started school and made brilliant friends that you never want to lose ... would you risk it and tell them about having this condition?" Remus asked. 

Normally, he wouldn't have been so brave asking this question, but Madame Pomfrey had cleared out the Hospital Wing for the day, with most of her patients having been minor injuries and illnesses cured in a heartbeat. The Hosptial Wing was now quiet and people had been made aware that Madame Pomfrey had things to get done at this time. It was safe-ish to talk openly here. 

Madame Pomfrey stopped what she was doing at the small trolley that she was crushing dittany leaves in. She'd been trying to speed up the process of gathering liquid from them. With any luck, she'd get a mushy mess from everything that had been collected. Once she'd distilled it and stored the leftover leaves for other things, she'd have plenty of dittany in her cupboard. 

"No." She said immediately. "No, I wouldn't."

Remus' shoulders slumped, slightly disappointed in the quickness and adamancy in her response. 

"Why not?" Remus asked. 

"Are you thinking of telling your friends?" Madame Pomfrey asked. 

"You didn't answer my question," Remus said. The healer sighed as she put down her mortar and pestle. 

"There are judicial protections for magical mishaps. That's why there was a department in the Ministry created for it. There are no protections for werewolves if you slip up. I'm a firm believer of never asking someone to hide their true selves. You are the exception, but only because I want to keep you safe. There are so many people that know you can do great things if given the chance. But to do that, you have to sacrifice things that people without your condition take for granted, and hide. Even from people that you love." 

Remus took a deep breath and felt another weight add to his shoulders.

A curse that he had to live with was the brutal honesty that adults had to give him. He was never allowed to be too optimistic. He always had to know the worst things that could happen so he could take the precautions to avoid them. 

"Were you thinking of telling your friends?" Madame Pomfrey asked softly, sitting beside Remus. "It's okay if you were. I won't judge. It's not easy hiding something this big from them."

"I wasn't thinking about telling them," Remus said. "Not really. Professor McGonnagall said that times were changing, and it just got me wondering if there was a possibility that things weren't as bad as they used to be, that I could have a chance at a normal life where I didn't have to keep everyone at arm's length." 

"I wish they'd change quicker, for your sake, but I don't think we're quite there yet, dear. You must understand that we say this because we have your best interests at heart." Madame Pomfrey told him. Remus nodded and looked back at the dittany plant in his hands. "Go on, dear, go to dinner. I'll finish this plant." 

Remus did as he was told, knowing not to insist to help. Madame Pomfrey liked to do things her own way, and having a student under her feet and disrupting her, no matter how much she seemed to like Remus, would just ruin the calm atmosphere that they'd created in the time that they'd been having private healing sessions. 

He walked to dinner, his hands stuffed in his pockets and thinking over everything that Madame Pomfrey had said. 

"You alright, Remus?" Peter asked as Remus sat down with his friends. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," Remus said. 

"Where have you been? You just up and left and we got worried." James asked. 

"Just felt like going on a walk to clear my head a bit," Remus said. "Exam nerves, ya know?" 

"Ugh, don't remind me." Sirius winced. "Let's talk about something fun, like what practical jokes I can play on my family at the wedding this summer. If we put our heads together, we can think of something amazing." 

And just like that, without even meaning to, Sirius deflected the conversation away from Remus, and the burdens on his shoulders were no more obvious than they'd been when he and his friends had first met. 


	15. 1972 - The Black Lake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and Sirius were in the sky on brooms loaned from Madame Hooch, no more than ten foot in the air and throwing a Quaffle back and forth. All around them, students were enjoying the sun. There were students like James and Sirius, throwing Quaffles at each other.
> 
> Other students were lounging in the sun, relishing in the feeling of such a beautiful summer. Some were sat in the shade, and some were avoiding being outside. 

June 29th 1972 - The Training Grounds 

Remus yawned as he lay back on the grass, his head pillowed by his bundled up robes and his eyes closed.

He could get used to summers at Hogwarts. The weather was decent for Scotland, and the heat was enough to make most students wander around the grounds with their robes slung over one arm with the top two buttons of their shirts undone. Thankfully, the teachers let them all get away with it. 

There was no shade here, but he didn't mind. Peter was wearing a baseball hat to shield his face from the sun. His parents had bought and sent it to him via owl just before the weather started getting nicer. According to Peter, they were obsessed with integrating Muggle items into their lives, and hats during the most extreme weather predicaments had been right up their street. 

It was also preventing Peter from going, 'as red as a lobster', as he put it. Fair hair and fair skin made for a difficult summer, it turned out. Peter's nose had already gone slightly red and had started to peel thanks to the one day that the weather had turned nice unexpectedly and he'd been out in the sun too long. 

James and Sirius were in the sky on brooms loaned from Madame Hooch, no more than ten foot in the air and throwing a Quaffle back and forth. 

All around them, students were enjoying the sun. There were students like James and Sirius, throwing Quaffles at each other. The only difference would be that, unlike James and Sirius, _their_ feet still firmly plantly on the ground. 

Other students were lounging in the sun, relishing in the feeling of such a beautiful summer. Some were sat in the shade, and some were avoiding being outside. 

_Yeah, I could_ definitely _get used to this._

Their first-year exams were almost over. There was a Transfiguration practical to do and two written Potions exams to complete within the following three days.

After that, they had two glorious weeks of _nothing_ but introductions to next year's topics. Those would not be hard, just boring, and barely anyone would pay attention. The teachers would set summer work that most would scramble to complete on the train back to Hogwarts in the autumn. 

Remus found himself to be surprisingly relaxed. 

He was dreading leaving school in the summer, but right now he was trying to avoid thinking about it as much as he could. There was no point in dwelling on the future when he had so much to enjoy now. 

Lyall would be concerned if he knew Remus was thinking such a thing. Remus couldn't find the desire to give the thought too much of his time.

"Oi, lads!" James called. Remus sat up and shielded his eyes from the sun and watching as James and Sirius walked closer, their broomsticks in their hands and James carrying the Quaffle. "Sirius and I are going to put the brooms back. Can you two find us somewhere decent to sit by the Black Lake?" 

"It's jam-packed down there," Peter said. "Everyone goes to the Black Lake during summer. My sister said you have to claim a space really early before all the good ones get snatched up. There'll be no trees to sit under now, nowhere nice. We're better off staying here, it's just as good." 

"There's plenty of days to sit and play Quidditch here, but we should make the most of the nice weather," Sirius said. "Apparently the Lake is the best place to spend time when it's warm." 

"Come on, Peter, we may as well see what all the fuss is about," Remus said, standing and offering Peter a hand. The other boy took it and walked in the opposite direction to James and Sirius, their robes and bags slung over their arms as they traipsed across the grounds. The sun was beating down on them, and Remus almost wished that he had a hat, too, or at least some sunglasses. 

"Are you looking forward to summer, Remus?" Peter asked. "I know I am! My family and I go to Great Yarmouth for a few weeks and rent out one of the little holiday homes. What do you think you'll get up to?" 

"I don't know," Remus admitted. "I spend most of my time with my mum. My dad is always at work, so my mum and I do a lot of gardening together. Sometimes if Dad is working on the weekends, he Apparates us to Port Talbot on a Friday. It's the nearest town to us. Mum and I spend a whole weekend there, stay in a BnB, go to the beach and go on walks. It's really peaceful."

"I'd love to live in Wales, it must be so much nicer than living in a smoggy old city." 

"I don't think any cities in England have had smog since the fifties, Pete." Remus chuckled. 

"Still, everything's all cramped in a city. What's Wales like?" 

"Depends on where you go," Remus said. "My parents are both from Swansea. They like it there, and they don't mind Cardiff or Llanelli-"

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Peter said. 

"What?"

"What was that thing you just said?" 

"Llanelli?" Remus asked. Peter nodded. "It's a town in Wales. Some of my mum's school friends live there. She took my dad and me to visit them a few times when I was small, but I don't remember it that well." 

"It doesn't sound like a real place," Peter said. "It sounds made up."

"All words are made up by someone, Pete. Some just aren't as widely known." Remus replied. Peter pondered the thought for a moment before shrugging. 

"I guess so." He said. 

The two of them continued to chat about what they expected from the summer holidays until they eventually found a willow tree almost on the bank of the lake. Some students were sat nearby, but most seemed to prefer something a little further back from the water. 

Peter and Remus took a seat, looking out at the lake in comfortable silence. 

It wasn't long before James and Sirius found them. They were both red in the face from the exertion and breathless. 

"Good choice, lads!" James said. "Couldn't have picked it better myself." 

He and Sirius took a seat, and the Marauders took to reclining under the tree, stretched out on the last little patches of grass before the water met the shore. 

The four of them were so comfortable and relaxed that they almost didn't notice when someone else came to join them. 

"Oh. Sorry, we didn't realise anyone else was here." 

Remus opened his eyes, as did the other Marauders. Lily, Marlene, Dorcas and Mary were clumped together, looking at the boys with mild disappointment. They'd clearly thought they'd found the perfect spot to sit. 

"It's alright, girls. Wanna join us?" James asked. 

"No, it's fine, we were just looking for a nice spot to take some pictures," Dorcas said. 

"I got a new camera for my birthday the other week, I thought it'd be nice to document as much of my time at Hogwarts as possible," Marlene explained, tapping the leather pouch hanging over her shoulder. 

"Take a picture of us," Sirius suggested. 

"Why?" Marlene asked, laughing slightly. Sirius shrugged. 

"Dunno. Maybe one day you can look back on it and wish you'd spent more time with us." He said, smirking slightly. "Our attention is pretty sought after, you know. It'd be good to get in with us now." 

Marlene rolled her eyes. 

"I doubt it." She said. "I'll take your picture, but don't let it get to your head, Black. I'll be lucky if you don't break the lens." A series of muffled snickers and badly suppressed grins came from the other girls as Marlene took her camera out of its bag, raising it to point at the Marauders as the four grinned shuffled closer together and grinned at the camera. It flashed, and Marlene took the film out, smiling down it before tucking it into a smaller pocket. 

"Can we see it?" Peter asked. Marlene seemed to ponder. 

"Maybe." She said. "But you'll just have to wait and see. Come on, girls, let's find somewhere else to sit." 

The two groups said their goodbyes to one another and the girls left, giving the Marauders the chance to sprawl out once again. 

"This should be our spot from now on," Sirius said.

"We can't claim a spot on school grounds, Sirius. We don't own it." Peter said. 

"Sure, we can!" Sirius replied. "We just have to build our standing a little more. Then people will start respecting the spots we choose." 

"Shouldn't you be worrying about other things?" James asked. 

"Like what?" Sirius responded. 

"Like the fact that your cousin is getting married. You're going to have to spend time with all of them. You said weddings are a big deal. There's no way your family are going to let you get away with anything that might spoil Bellatrix's wedding."

"Ugh, you don't have to remind me, James," Sirius said, disgust dripping from every word that rolled off his tongue. "And I'll say the same thing I told Remus the other month. Stay out of my family's business."

"Why-"

"Because I don't want to talk about them!" Sirius snapped. "They're a nightmare. They uphold stupid and outdated laws, and I wish I didn't have to spend the summer with them. I know I make jokes about how they're crazy, but I don't need you lot mothering me." 

"Someone's got to be a mother to you, Sirius, yours doesn't do it properly," Peter said. 

"Whose to say what mothering is really?" Sirius asked. "Spending the day in a rural town when your dad can find the time to Apparate you there and treating it as if it's an expensive trip? Going to a holiday park? Going abroad with your parents because they have Ministry work to do in the south of France?" 

Remus was stunned for a moment. And if James and Peter's silence was anything to go by, they were as well. 

Sirius wasn't even looking at them, pulling at the grass and ripping it from the root, only to scrunch it up for a second and then drop it and repeat the cycle. 

"I'm going back to the castle," Remus said. 

"Can I come, too?" Peter asked. Remus nodded and they both stood, brushing at their uniforms to get rid of any green flecks of grass clinging to them. 

"Are you coming, James?" Remus asked. James shook his head. "I think it would be good if Sirius had some time alone. We're clearly being more like pests than friends." 

"I'll stay here, make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, like annoy the Giant Squid." James joked. Remus let out a huff of air, a terrible attempt at what would usually be a laugh. 

"You don't have to talk about me like I'm not sat right here, you know," Sirius said sullenly. 

"For Merlin's sake, Sirius, _fine_. Be like that." Remus sighed, grabbing his bag and his robes. "Come on, Peter, I'll help you pack your trunk if you want." 

Peter and Remus exchanged a quick goodbye to James before they trudged back to the castle, the day seeming considerably less bright than it had been when they'd first stepped into the sunshine. 

~

July 16th 1972 - Summer Holidays 

In the two or so weeks after the argument at the Black Lake, the Marauders had carefully avoided the topic of the summer holidays or Sirius' family. Sirius had murmured a halfhearted apology about snapping at them all when he'd returned to the dormitory, and the four had tried their best to just ignore it and move on. 

The sisters were hanging over them for the rest of their time at Hogwarts, with Bellatrix around every corner giving Sirius cunning little smiles and gesturing a lot more wildly now. She wanted to draw as much attention as she could to her ring, and to remind Sirius of what would inevitably be his future whether he liked it or not. 

Raised to be traded off like no more than cattle.

With their sharp features and striking beauty that they all possessed, it was no wonder that the Blacks were so highly sought after. There were rumours of suitors ready to throw themselves at Andromeda and Narcissa's feet, desperate to be the next ones in the limelight.

Many of the other older Slytherins from old families seemed to want to stake their claim and chance paying the price of marrying into the family. 

As James, Peter, Remus and Sirius piled into the carriage they'd been lucky enough to claim each time they travelled to and from Hogwarts, Remus' heart constricted. The talks began about ideas for how they were going to step their game up the next year.

But how could they all be so sure that things would be the same when summer came and went? They had so many weeks apart now. 

Summer felt like a lifetime to spend away from friends. It felt like they could all change so much, and Remus wished he could turn back the clock and redo the whole year if it meant preventing this parting. 

Remus was quiet and sad for most of the trip. The train pulled into Platform 9 and 3/4 far too quickly for his liking. James' parents were once again the first to greet them, and James jumped at them, happy to see them both again. 

"I can see my parents!" Peter exclaimed. "I'll see you guys in September, okay? Write as often as possible, I want every boring little detail of your summer!" 

"Remus!" Remus looked up just in time to see his mother rushing at him. He threw his arms around her, hugging tightly as the familiar smell of her jasmine-scented perfume surrounded him. "I'm so glad to see you, darling!" 

"I'm glad to see you too, Mum," Remus said. He pulled back from his mother and gestured to James and Sirius. "This is James and Sirius. You just missed Peter. They're my friends." 

"Best friends," James said, puffing up his chest proudly. Remus was breathless for a moment before he smiled. 

"Yeah," He agreed, looking back at his mother. "Yeah, they're my best friends." 

"Oh, that's fantastic! I'm so happy you've made friends this year!" Hope gushed. She introduced herself briefly to James' parents and said hello to Sirius as she put an arm around Remus' shoulders. 

"Where's Dad?" Remus asked once she was done. 

"Waiting at the platform entryway with your luggage. I wanted to come and find you, I couldn't wait to see you!" Hope said. "Shall we get going? It's a long trip home, and I've got a big dinner waiting for us. I want to hear _everything_ that's happened since Christmas."

"I do write letters, Mum. There really isn't much to tell." Remus said, chuckling nervously. He did his best to leave out the clues of getting into mischief, as he did with his letters. 

"You don't write nearly enough! And there has to be more happening than lessons and homework." Hope tutted. She looked back up to James' family and Sirius. "It was so nice to meet you! I hope you all have a lovely summer." 

Goodbyes were once again parrotted back. 

"Don't forget to write," James said to Remus. 

"I won't." He promised. "See you in September." Remus gave his friends one last smile as he and his mother navigated their way through the crowds back to Lyall. 

This would be a long summer, but if Remus was lucky, it would fly by fast enough that he would blink and he would be back on the Hogwarts Express with his friends once again. 


	16. 1972 - Only Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wished he had a camera and some pictures of his friends. Looking back, Marlene had had a good idea when she'd asked for one for her birthday. Maybe he wouldn't have been so lonely if he just had some kind of memory of his friends to make him smile. 

August 3rd 1972 

Remus was missing his friends. He didn't like admitting it, but he was. 

Wales had had some decent weather over the two weeks since he'd left Hogwarts, and Remus hadn't yet managed to convince his parents to let him go to Port Talbot. He needed to get out of the house, to somewhere where he could distract himself. 

"Remus!" Remus was jolted out of his thoughts by his mother calling his name. 

"Sorry, Mum, what were you saying?" Remus replied. 

"I was asking you what was wrong." She said. 

"Nothing," Remus said.

"Something is bothering you."

"I'm just thinking about what I have to do before September. I've not made a start on any of my homework. I probably should." Remus sighed. 

"Are you looking forward to going back?" Hope asked. There was something in her voice that gave away how much she wished Remus would want to stay at home. Remus hated to disappoint her. Now that he was at school, she was all alone during the day. 

"Yeah," Remus replied. "I'm just ... used to the routine of being there now. It's strange being at home again." 

"I imagine it's a lot quieter now that you have your own room again." 

Remus shrugged. "I don't mind sharing. The others aren't that loud, and I like the company." 

"Are you sure?"

"Really, Mum, I'm loving Hogwarts. It's brilliant." Remus assured her.

"I meant to ask you back in January, but who was that girl you were talking to at the train station?" 

Remus frowned and tried to remember back to the start of the year when he'd returned to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays. 

"The one with the ginger hair." Hope prompted

"Oh. That's Lily, she's another friend," Remus said. "Well ... I _think_ she's a friend. I haven't really had much of a chance to talk to her recently. I got into a fight with her best friend." 

Hope pursed her lips. "I'm aware. Your father showed me the letter. I really expected better, Remus."

"It wasn't my fault," Remus said. "Dad wouldn't have let me explain. Snape started it." 

"What happened? Has he be giving you trouble?"

"He made some nasty comments to Sirius. And fair enough, Sirius wasn't exactly being nice either, but I tried to pull them away, and when Snape got worse, I had a go at him. Then I partnered up with Lily in all of our lessons one day because there was a misunderstanding with my friends, and Snape told me he had a problem with me. Peter stood up to him, and Snape decided to call him names. I got angry. It wasn't my fault. He was being horrid to my friends." 

Hope let him ramble, and when he was done, she softened. "I know that you were trying to do the right thing, but you understand that you have a responsibility to set an example, don't you?" 

"Why?" Remus asked. 

"Because you're the first person that has your ... _problem_ once a month that has ever gone to Hogwarts before." 

"I wish you and Dad would stop skirting around it as if I don't know what I am," Remus said softly. "I _know_ what it's called. I know everyone thinks I'm dangerous, and sometimes I think even the staff don't trust me. But why should I be the one to have to hide? Why should I have to be the bigger person? I wouldn't ever hurt anyone if I could help it, and they shouldn't assume that I would." 

Remus didn't know where all of this pent up frustration was coming from, or why he was aiming it at his mother, who had never been anything but caring towards him and his problem. All he knew was that it felt like an anvil crushing his chest while he was at Hogwarts, and he didn't want to hide anymore. 

"That's just the way things are right now." 

"But _why_ -"

" _Because it is_!" Hope snapped. Remus recoiled. 

There was a fierce look in the familiar green irises of Hope's eyes, a shade or two lighter than Remus' own. His mother was never the one to snap at him. She was a little softer than Lyall was. Sometimes stern, sometimes strict, but never harsh. 

Hope's eyes cleared. She seemed to come out of whatever anger-filled state she'd been in. 

"Mum-" Hope stood and went over towards the fireplace to stoke the embers. 

"I've spent years ignoring your father in the hopes that this would sort itself out before you got to school. But you're right, we shouldn't skirt around it. You're old enough to understand that the world can be a cruel place. Your father, me, and the staff at Hogwarts are trying to protect you for as long as we can. For them to help you, you have to show them that you're kinder and more human than other werewolves are. I don't want you to have a hard life." 

"Who's Fenrir Greyback?" Remus asked suddenly. Hope turned to look at him, that fierce look in her eyes once again. 

"Where did you hear that name?"

"Who is he?" Remus asked again. 

"Answer me right this second, Remus-"

"I asked you first!"

"Don't be a child!"

"Don't treat me like I'm made of glass! Mum, who is he?" 

"He's a werewolf," Hope said. 

"I know that."

"Then why did you ask?" Hope asked. 

"Because I want to know if it's true that Dad provoked him," Remus said. "I want to know if that's the reason I was bitten, because Dad hates werewolves and he said some nasty stuff. I want to know if Greyback bit me because of it."

"Why would you think that? What kind of things have you heard?" Hope asked.

"The Sorting Hat said his name when I arrived at Hogwarts. It didn't know many people that had been bitten by Greyback at such a young age that had survived for so long, and that no werewolf has ever attended Hogwarts before. My friends know his name. They know Dad's, too, and that he was 'mad on hunting down werewolves'. They all know, and I don't. I had to find out at the breakfast table instead of from my own parents."

"Don't be like that, Remus," Hope said. "Your father was keen on regulating werewolves, that's for sure." 

"Locking them up, you mean," Remus said. "They wouldn't have described it as him 'hunting werewolves down' if it was anything other than treating them like garbage." 

"No, Remus, that's not what I mean. Your father wanted to _regulate_ them," Hope insisted. "He could be harsh, but only because Greyback was notorious for attacking children. They didn't get along." 

"And?" 

"And what?"

"You can't just tell me half of the story," Remus said. 

"I don't want to talk anymore about it," Hope replied. "That's all you need to know. You being bitten was an accident. No one was to know it would happen." 

"That's not true," Remus said. 

"Go to your room," Hope said. 

"What?" 

"You heard me," Hope said. "Go to your room. I said I don't want to talk about it, and you keep pushing. Come back out once you're ready to apologise. I'd think about your attitude while you're there. Just because you're at school for most of the year now, doesn't mean you can be pushy and demanding when you come home." 

Remus took a second to register what his mother had said before he pushed himself out of the seat he was in and stomped upstairs to his room. There were ten steps at the edge of the kitchen that led to the first floor, where his parents' bedroom and the bathroom were. 

Remus' room was an attic conversion, another ten steps higher than his parents' room. He had a spiral staircase leading up to it that was directly next to his parents' door, and close enough to the stairs that with no background noise and the thin walls, he could hear all the way into the kitchen on a good day. 

When he got to his room, he closed his bedroom door behind him and felt overwhelming frustration flood his veins. 

Was it so hard to get a straight answer? Was it so much of a strain to just be honest? It was Remus' life, why shouldn't he know the details of why he was like this? 

He flung himself onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling and wishing more than anything that he was seeing the familiar red canopy of his four-poster bed at Hogwarts rather than the blank white space above him. This part of the ceiling was slightly sloped since it was part of the roof. Remus could touch it with a toe if he stretched his leg enough. 

He wished he had a camera and some pictures of his friends. Looking back, Marlene had had a good idea when she'd asked for one for her birthday. Maybe he wouldn't have been so lonely if he just had some kind of memory of his friends to make him smile. 

Remus leapt off his bed then, rummaging through the letters his friends had sent him over Christmas, and the ones they'd sent during the first and second week of summer. 

Some of them were shorter than others, but Remus managed to gather up the fifteen or so pieces of parchment that had accumulated inside his bedside cabinet. He also picked up the blue tack that his mother had given him for sticking up any posters they bought in their visits to Port Talbot. 

As he finished gathering whatever supplies he needed, Remus suddenly saw familiar wrapping paper buried under the letters. He brought it out, frowning. His father had bought him this chocolate at the start of summer, even though he knew it sometimes made Remus feel ill when it got closer to the full.

Which was a pity, because he really did love chocolate. There was just something about his digestive system and the sugar and the weakness that the full moon brought that didn't always agree with it.

He usually found a bar hidden somewhere as the cycle progressed. It helped in the aftermath sometimes, distracted him and relieved the pain a little, but it often led to his mother scolding his father if she ever found it.

Remus closed his drawer, choosing to ignore it for now, and spent the next forty-five minutes stood on his bed, carefully arranging the letters until it was a mess of parchment and varying handwriting styles. When he'd stuck the last one down, he laid down on his bed and smiled. 

It was a little messy, but somehow it felt right. He could see so many iterations of his friends signing off letters with their names, random words that his eyes focused on, and felt a little more at home. If he couldn't be with them physically, they could at least be with him in spirit.

"Remus! Your father is home!" Hope called from downstairs. Remus decided to keep quiet, continuing to focus on the letters above him. "Remus!" 

He stayed quiet again and heard his parents' hushed voices. His mother was likely relaying everything that had happened. Remus knew that there were really two ways for this to go.

His father would explode, get angry and rant and rage, leaving the whole atmosphere tense and unhappy for a few days. Or he could sit and stew in silence until Remus was so sick with guilt that it would manifest in a brutal full moon.

Remus found himself wishing for the second option. At least he'd be able to get it all out of his system. It would be much better than being yelled at. His attention was returned to reality by a knock at the door, and he looked over, seeing Lyall peer in. 

"Hi," Remus said quietly. 

"Your mother told me what happened," Lyall replied. There he was. Blunt as always. "Can I come in?" 

Remus frowned slightly. His father didn't usually ask permission. He nodded and Lyall stepped inside, closing the door behind him. Remus sat up and drew his legs to his chest to make room for his father to sit on his bed. 

"I didn't backchat," Remus said. "I didn't say anything rudely. I didn't swear or get angry. Just so you know." 

"I know," Lyall said. There was a brief pause. "Your mother's very upset."

"I don't understand why," Remus replied. "Mum has you and me and this house and the garden and friends. She has parents and cousins in Swansea and Cardiff. She has _everything_. I don't have anything other than you two, and you keep telling me it has to be that way. I can accept that if I just get some honesty." 

"Sometimes I think you forget that you're only twelve. There are some things that you don't need to know, Remus, no matter how grown-up you think you are." 

"It doesn't matter that I'm only twelve, Dad," Remus told him. "And besides, you always said I had to be a little more grown-up than most people because of what I am. So if _you_ can treat me like I'm older than other kids my age, why can't I act like it?" 

"Just because you have to be mature, doesn't mean that you have to know things that adults do," Lyall replied. "I'll give you answers one day. But not now. Sometimes _I_ forget that you're only twelve as well, and I need to start treating you like it. It's my job to protect you. I've not always done a brilliant job at it, and that eats me up on the inside. And it hurts your mother to see us both in any kind of distress." 

"I don't want her to be upset." 

"We both know that. She wishes she could tell you everything. When you're a little older, we'll talk about this in-depth, and you can get angry and cry and scream and shout at us, and we won't stop you. But right now, we refuse to put any more on your shoulders than you're already carrying. Understood?" 

Remus nodded. "I understand."

"Come here." Lyall held out his arms and Remus threw himself into them, hugging his father tightly. "I'll hear no more about you and your mother getting into silly little squabbles, okay? She's doing her best. Let her have as much peaceful time with you as she can before you're a sulky teenager that doesn't want to spend time with her anymore."

Remus snickered. "That won't happen. I love spending time with you both." 

"Yeah?" Remus nodded. "Then let's go and have a nice dinner together. And afterwards, we can use that Gobstones set that your friend gave you for your birthday, okay?" 

"Mum said-"

"We have to play in the kitchen, I know. She doesn't want the smelly stuff all over the carpet." Lyall chuckled. "Now go on, go downstairs before dinner gets cold. Mum's been slaving over it all afternoon." 

And with that, Remus and Lyall hurried into the kitchen, settling at the table with a small load off their shoulders. Remus was still desperate for answers, but he _could_ wait for just a little while longer. But only a little while. This was only a temporary fix, a plaster to stop the wound from getting infected.

So Remus would wait until the right time, and then he'd get the answers he wanted. 


	17. 1972 - Interior Design

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We'll figure it out," Remus said. "I promise, we'll figure out a way to stop them from taking advantage of him."
> 
> "We have this year to plan and prepare," Peter added. "If anyone can take on Slytherin, we can." 
> 
> Sirius was quiet for a moment, his eyes trained on the table in front of him. His silence was poignant, and when he looked up, Remus saw nothing but grim determination in his eyes. 

_Remus,_

_By the time this letter gets to you, I will have already been to Bellatrix's wedding. She looked nice, all the family were allowed to see her in the dress before the big day. She'll have had loads of attention on the day, so I suppose it was a big win for her. Rodolphus is a right git, though, proper snobby._

_I'll be seeing a lot more of him now when the family gets together. I'm still gutted that Andy won the bet on when he'd propose._

_But at least Bella won't be at Hogwarts in the new year. One nasty Black sister down, one more to go._

_Hope everything's okay with you. Can't wait to see you three idiots again. Things will be a lot better then,_

_Sirius_

~

_Hey Remus,_

_Have you got the letter from Sirius about the wedding yet? I can almost smell the misery coming off it. Something seems really wrong._

_Did he say anything to you? I've already checked in with Pete, he said that Sirius was as vague as ever. It was the same as mine._

_I'm worried about him. I'm counting down the days until we're back at school so that he'll cheer up a bit._

_How's Wales? Bet the weather is terrible, Mum and Dad said it was pouring it down on the trips they've taken there. Hope you and your folks are alright. Hope you're not missing us too much._

_See you soon,_

_James_

_~_

_James,_

_I got a letter from Sirius, but it was probably just as vague as yours and Peter's. Sorry. I think he'd feel most comfortable talking to you if anything was bothering him too much._

_Everything's fine here. Running out of parchment with all replies to the letters you three have been sending. Haven't heard much from Pete lately, though. Is he alright? He's been oddly quiet the last week or so. Normally, I get at least one letter a week from all of you._

_The weather is fine. A little drizzly at times, a little windy, but it's alright. Pretty standard for a Welsh summer. My parents are fine, they're just ... normal, I suppose. Mum and I have been doing odd bits round the house, Dad goes off to work early and gets home late, sleeps a lot on the weekends to make up for it._

_You probably won't have time to reply to this before we're all back at Kings Cross, but you'll have to tell me all about your prank war with your dad. It might give us some inspiration for the new year._

_See you in a few days,_

_Remus_

~

September 1st 1972 - Platform 9 and 3/4 

Remus ran at the wall between Platforms Nine and Ten at Kings Cross with his parents bracketing him as they had done last year. 

They emerged on the other side, and Remus immediately took his luggage to the queue, keeping close to his parents so that he didn't lose them in the crowds. He strained, searching through the dense crowd for his friends. 

Remus really wished he was taller. And older. It would be so much easier than having to struggle past every student in the five years above him. 

"Hang on a second, Remus," Hope said eventually, gently grabbing his shoulder. 

"I've gotta find my friends." Remus protested. "We have a carriage that we usually sit in. If we don't get it, Sirius and James will sulk the entire way there. I don't want to be the one to deal with grumpy dormmates."

"It'll only take a moment." Remus faced his mother instead of looking over his shoulder and saw the tightness around her mouth. 

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Be safe, okay?"

"Mum, you already gave me this talk last year."

"I know, but that doesn't mean it's any less important," Hope said. "Don't slack just because you've already got a year under your belt, okay? You're doing really well. _Please,_ for the love of God, _be careful._ "

"I will, Mum. I promise." Remus said. He hugged both of his parents and wriggled past a group of students, fighting to get to the train door. It would be better to go straight to the carriage and wait for his friends there. 

He spared one last glance and a wave back at his parents, who were watching him with a slight hint of worry in their eyes as they waved back. 

~

September 1st 1972 - The Hogwarts Express 

James was the first to barrel into the carriage, a stupid grin on his face with Sirius in tow. Both of them were breathing heavily, faces tinged pinky-red with exertion. Sirius' hair was shorter, the curls no longer formed around his ears and the fringe a lot shorter than it had been last year. He looked almost like a completely different person. 

James, however, looked the same, with his circular glasses perched on his nose, hazel eyes gleaming with happiness behind them. His dark hair was messy and unkempt as usual. 

"Remus!" James wheezed, still slightly breathless. Remus grinned at them both and had barely been up a second before the others were pouncing on him, chattering away and hugging him tightly. 

"You'll never guess what happened at Bellatrix's reception!" Sirius said. "My family used this huge manor place that we sometimes host summer soirees at. Andy and Narcissa said they were going for some fresh air and got into a fight. They started scrapping the corridor outside the loos. Bellatrix caught wind of it, stormed out and hexed both of them so hard that they had to stay tucked away in the rooms upstairs for the rest of the night." 

"She hexed her own sisters?!" Remus gaped. 

"Oh yeah, I was there when it happened. I'd just gone to the loo, and when I came out they were one insult away from rolling on the floor and yanking on each other's hair!" Sirius said. He was practically bouncing up and down in excitement. "Aunt Druella, their mother, came to check on them since they'd been gone so long, and Bellatrix noticed they were all missing."

"What did she do to them?" Remus asked. 

"Some complicated thing. There was a bright flash, that's all I know. I didn't really see much. Aunt Druella whisked them away upstairs faster than I could focus." Sirius said. "It's a shame. I know Andy would've wone it if Bellatrix hadn't interrupted." 

"Do they fight a lot?" James asked curiously, taking a seat. Sirius and Remus followed.

"Depends on what you mean by a lot," Sirius shrugged. "Most of the time, they just bicker and argue. They've only ever had a physical fight twice, I think. Mum and Dad told me about it. Uncle Cygnus, their dad, did what my parents do if Regulus and I misbehave. He made them go twenty-four hours without any food, locked them in their rooms without their wands."

Sirius said it so casually as if it were completely normal for that sort of thing to happen in a family. James and Remus exchanged a worried look. 

"That's not right, Sirius," Remus said gently. "Parents aren't supposed to do that." 

"Of course they are," Sirius said. "What else are they supposed to do?" 

"I don't know," Remus replied. "Send you up to your room, but definitely not stop you from having food. _Or_ take your wand away for so long. Wands are _really_ important. Having it taken off you is like cutting off a finger and expecting you to still be able to function the same." 

"My dad said that criminals awaiting trial in the Ministry cells beg for their wands back all the time. They say it feels wrong, like having a permanent itch you can't scratch, to be away from it for the days leading up to their hearings," James said. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's a load of baloney. I was fine."

"That might just be because you've only had your wand a year." James pointed out. 

"James, give it a rest, will you?" Sirius said. "I didn't tell you guys this just to get smothered."

Remus looked away then, staring out of the window and choosing not to respond. 

A minute or two of uncomfortable silence passed before someone else opened the door to the compartment. Sirius, James and Remus all looked to the door and the tension dissipated, relief replacing it as they processed who was sliding inside. 

"Wotcher, lads!" Peter said. 

"Alright, Pete?" James said, a grin splitting across his face. 

"Alright, I guess. I was almost late. I had to get on right at the beginning of the train and stumble down here. I never realised how many bumps there were along train tracks until I had to walk down the entire bloody thing." Peter complained, sitting beside Remus, the two of them facing James and Sirius. "Can we change our compartment when Christmas rolls around? Merlin knows its a pain to find. Everything looks the same."

"We've claimed this one now," Remus said, already knowing that the same words were likely to tumble from James and Sirius' mouths. "We may as well keep it. Sorry, Pete." 

"We should do something to make it obvious that this is our carriage," Sirius said. 

"We're not vandalising the train, Sirius," James responded. 

"I'm not talking about vandalising." Sirius protested. "I'm talking about ... _interior design_." 

He brought his wand out and knelt on his seat, turning around and pressing the tip of his wand on the wooden panelling at the back of the seats. 

"Sirius, what are you _doing_?!" Peter hissed. "If we get caught, McGonnagall and Dumbledore will be on our cases as soon as we get to school! I don't want them to send a letter home or get detention before the new year even starts."

"Shut up, Peter," Sirius said in exasperation. "Doesn't it get boring being such a goody-two shoe?"

"Oi, leave Peter alone." Remus snapped. "Sirius, stop!"

"Or what?" Sirius asked. He stopped with whatever he was doing and sat back down. "There, done." 

James looked at it and frowned. "He's put the initials of our first names on there."

"Sirius, for Merlin's sake, if you insist on 'interior designing', could you at least make sure it doesn't come back to haunt us?" Remus asked. 

"What's gotten into you all?!" Sirius exclaimed. "You lot used to be fun."

"We _are_ fun," Peter defended. "But getting detentions and being yelled at by teachers isn't something we enjoy spending our time doing." 

Sirius looked at all three of them in disbelief and stood. "Fine, be like that." 

He made towards the door, but James darted towards him, grabbing his arm. "Where are you going?"

"Gonna go find Regulus," Sirius replied, shaking himself loose of James. "I let my brother go off with some other first years he made friends with on the platform. Big mistake, clearly." 

"Sirius, don't-" Remus said. 

"See you guys at dinner." Sirius interrupted, sliding open the compartment door and heading further down the carriage towards a different compartment. 

Remus, James and Peter were silent for a few moments before James closed the door behind him and returned to his seat, looking dismayed.

"Was he so antsy before I came along?" Peter asked quietly.

"He was telling us about a fight that his cousins got into," James said. 

"He was practically bouncing on his seat in excitement," Remus added. 

"Oh." Was all Peter muttered. 

"It's not your fault, Pete." Remus amended, looking at the other boy. 

Peter's hair was as bright blonde as it had been before they'd left Hogwarts in the summer, and his skin was still a little red around his ears and neck, but he _did_ have a little more colour in his cheeks. His eyes gave away how disappointed he was that things had already gone awry within the first half an hour of the journey back to the castle. 

"Yeah, you know what Sirius is like. He just gets a little dramatic and moody sometimes." James assured. "We'll sort it out when we get back to the castle. He'll have cooled off by then." 

~

September 1st 1972 - Gryffindor Table 

Sirius had not cooled off by dinnertime. 

In fact, he'd been giving his friends the silent treatment since they'd caught up with him at Hogsmeade. 

They'd all piled into a carriage that magically pulled itself along, trundling all the way up to the castle and pushing their way into seats near the front of the Gryffindor Table in painful silence. 

The speech had begun, and none of them had been paying attention until McGonnagall had called out, "Regulus Black!"

Murmuring spread through the castle and the Marauders sat a little straighter. 

"Bloody hell, how many fucking Blacks are there?" A Gryffindor hissed from close by. 

"Shut your gob, Dawlish! Sirius growled at him. 

Remus recognised the other boy then. John Dawlish. He was a sixth year. Tall and confident and _brilliant_ at magic. He was a Prefect as well. McGonnagall was relieved to have someone so calm and unfazed during conflicts between Gryffindors and Slytherins on the Prefect team. 

"Just because _you're_ not a Slytherin, doesn't mean he won't be." Dawlish shrugged. "The apples don't fall far from the tree in your family."

"That's my brother you're talking about," Sirius said. "He's a _child_. Get his name out of your mouth before I do it for you." 

And then everyone's attention was brought back to the Sorting Hat as it yelled out the word, " _SLYTHERIN!_ " 

Sirius' face fell, looking and no doubt feeling crushed. Regulus, who looked way too small to be sat up on the stool, with neatly cropped hair just like Sirius and robes that almost drowned him out completely, stood, looking almost tearful. He strained to look for Sirius, and their eyes locked. Sirius tried to give him a brave smile as he walked over to the Slytherin table, but it fell once again as Regulus was welcomed with open arms by Narcissa and Andromeda. 

"It's okay, Sirius," James said. "Andromeda will take care of him, you know that. She's the good one, she won't let anything bad happen to him." 

"But only for this year," Sirius replied. "What about next year? When it's only Narcissa? What about the year after that, when it's the other little rodents in that house? I ... I promised him we'd always stick together, that I would always be there. How am I supposed to do that now?" 

"We'll figure it out," Remus said. "I promise, we'll figure out a way to stop them from taking advantage of him."

"We have this year to plan and prepare," Peter added. "If anyone can take on Slytherin, we can." 

Sirius was quiet for a moment, his eyes trained on the table in front of him. His silence was poignant, and when he looked up, Remus saw nothing but grim determination in his eyes. 

"You're right." He said. "We'll start as soon as we get back to the dorm." 


	18. 1972 - Are We Ready?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "My name is Professor Caprine." The man said. "And with any luck, I'll be your Defence professor for more than just one year."
> 
> Remus was immediately intrigued. He had vaguely heard of a curse on the DADA role, but none of the staff had ever addressed it before. His classmates seemed to shift with excitement. 

September 3rd 1972 - Defence Against the Dark Arts 

"Okay, class! Eyes on me, please!" The new Defense teacher called from the front. 

This year it was a man. The previous year, the professor had been a woman by the name of Eve Harpis. She was a middle-aged woman from somewhere in the Midlands that had excelled at Hogwarts and was now a published author. She was famous for her works surrounding Red Caps. 

This new professor was probably in his late twenties or early thirties, with chestnut brown hair and tanned skin. His clothes were less formal than what other professors wore.

Instead of robes, he wore a simple white linen button-up with his top two buttons undone, no tie, and his shirt was tucked into casual brown corduroy trousers. He was wearing dragonhide boots on his feet, and Remus could see the scuff marks on them that showed how well-loved and worn in they were. 

"My name is Professor Caprine." The man said. "And with any luck, I'll be your Defence professor for more than just one year."

Remus was immediately intrigued. He had vaguely heard of a curse on the DADA role, but none of the staff had ever addressed it before. His classmates seemed to shift with excitement. 

Caprine looked like the type to have travelled recently, with his tan and his casual clothing. He was bound to have experience if Dumbledore wanted him to teach Defence. 

"So," Caprine started. "Let's get started, shall we? We'll start with a less or two on Cornish pixies as a nice and easy introduction to the year, and then we'll move on to some of the more exciting stuff. Are we ready?" 

~

September 5th 1972 - The Marauders' Dorm 

"Sirius, give it a rest, will you? Some of us are trying to sleep." Peter groaned as the sound of Sirius getting up echoed through the room for the fourth time since they'd gone to bed. 

"I'm sorry if I need the loo, Pettigrew. Next time I'll just use your bed as a toilet, how does that sound?" Sirius snapped.

"If you ever go to the toilet on any of our beds, I'm dragging you down to McGonnagall myself." Remus yawned, turning over onto his other side and getting comfortable again. 

"I'll second that," James said groggily. 

"Some mates you are," Sirius muttered. 

Remus' eyes opened. He was greeted with nothing but darkness and vague shapes as his eyes adjusted. 

Sirius' behaviour hadn't changed much since the train journey. 

Ever since Regulus had been Sorted into Slytherin, he had been more hostile than normal. He picked on Peter a lot and even butted heads with James a few times.

It hadn't escalated but the tension was there, ready to explode. It was barely contained in the dormitory and in between the cracks of their friendship.

Remus was already finding it unbearable, and they were only four days into the new year. 

Sirius suggested a few outrageous pranks against the entirety of Slytherin, even the ones who had never even spoken a word to Sirius. His eyes had lit up as he'd suggested using _Immobulus_ or a jinx called ' _Langlock_ ' that would supposedly embarrass them all. James had shot both ideas down before Remus could ask what the second spell even did. 

He heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door close as Sirius' feet padded across the room and he settled back into bed. 

Everything fell silent, but Remus couldn't get to sleep no matter how hard he tried. He tossed and turned and alternated between having his duvet off completely, then drawn all the way up to his chin. He tried laying on either side, on his stomach, on his back, but nothing was working. 

Eventually, he resorted to lying on his back, staring up at the dark shapes of the bedframe above him. He wasn't really thinking about anything, just hoping that maybe his eyes would get tired soon so he'd finally be able to sleep. 

He was startled suddenly by someone pushing his curtain back. 

"Remus?" Someone whispered. 

"Pete? Is that you?" 

"Yeah. Sorry, did I wake you?" 

"No, I've been awake since Sirius went to the loo last," Remus replied. 

"So have I."

"Are you alright?" Remus asked. 

"Yeah, I just ... I don't know. I just thought I'd check to see if anyone else was awake, and you were the first one that came to mind. It's silly, I know, but-"

"It's not silly." Remus interrupted. He sat up and tucked his legs up so he was sat cross-legged. "Sit down, if you want." 

"Cheers, I ... um ... thanks," Peter said. He drew Remus' curtains closed again before he sat down, mirroring Remus. "Here, I know something that'll stop Sirius and James from getting annoyed at us. _Muffliato_." 

There was a thickness that spread around Remus' bed for a moment before it calmed to something barely noticeable. 

"What was that?" He asked. 

"Muffliato Charm," Peter said. "It protects private conversations. If James and Sirius wake up, they'll only hear a slight buzzing coming from your bed." 

"Where did you learn it? It seems way too advanced for a second year." 

"My sister casts it when she wants to talk to my mum about girl stuff." Remus vaguely saw Peter shrug in the darkness. "I've seen and heard her do it so much that it really isn't that hard to cast." 

"That's brilliant, Pete," Remus said. "We could use that in pranks." 

"If there _are_ any pranks this year, you mean," Peter said. 

"Sirius won't act like this forever." Remus defended. "He's just-"

"A Black," Peter finished. "They're mental. All of them." 

"That's not fair, Pete. He can't help who his family are, just like you and I can't. The last thing he wants is to be related to them, but it's not like he can do anything about it." 

"It's easy for you to defend him when you're not the one he picks on," Peter muttered glumly. 

"He might not pick on me, but I'm sure he isn't that fond of me. Especially when I'm always having a go at him for being an arse." 

Peter huffed a soft laugh. "I like it when you do that. I'm never confident enough to do it, but it's nice having someone who stands up to him. I know he isn't trying to be unkind, but he's just ..."

"A little pig-headed?" Remus suggested. 

"That's an understatement." Peter chuckled. He sighed. "As much as I wish he wasn't so nasty sometimes, I wouldn't have him any other way. Would you?" 

Remus pondered for a second. 

_Would_ he change anything about Sirius if he could? 

He was very fond of the people he now called his friends, and he'd largely accepted the idea that they were irritating sometimes.

James didn't know how to pick up his clothes from wherever they'd landed when he'd taken them off.

Peter was a little too nervous and was always panicking about what others were thinking about him. Sirius picking on him wasn't exactly making it any better, either. 

Sirius was a tornado of chaos at the best of times. He was always on the move, always busy. The cogs in his head were frequently turning to figure out the best way to get into trouble.

But they were all things that Remus expected by this point. He was used to seeing random articles of clothing strewn across the furniture near James' bed, and he knew the look in Peter's eyes when something was wrong. He knew the way that Sirius would up the dramatics when he needed to blow off some steam. 

Remus knew the exact reasons why they were the way they were. He almost surprised himself as he realised how much he'd picked up on, how much he'd learnt about his friends in the short amount of time that he'd known them. 

James was used to having a house-elf nearby to help keep his things tidy but enjoyed having a little chaos in life. 

Peter just wanted to do well and prove that he was useful, that he was capable. 

And Sirius ... Sirius was still a bit of an enigma. A mystery. Remus didn't quite understand him sometimes. He somehow knew so much and so little about the other boy. 

But Sirius had an infectious smile. It was impossible to not feel on top of the world when he walked alongside you, laughing at a joke you made and face lighting up at an idea you had. 

For all of his faults, all his quirks and his little annoyances, Sirius was _good;_ and he meant a lot to Remus, just like James and Peter did. 

"Remus?" Peter said, jolting Remus out of his thoughts. 

"Sorry," Remus said. "No, I wouldn't change him. He wouldn't be Sirius if he wasn't a nightmare. I doubt we'd even be friends with him in the first place if he wasn't the way he was." 

"Do you really think he'll sort himself out soon?" Peter asked. 

"I hope so," Remus said. "Maybe we just need a different approach." 

"Maybe if we get James in on it, Sirius will listen." 

"What makes you think that?" 

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed how the two of them are with each other," Peter said. "I know the four of us are all mates, but those two are next level."

Remus sighed. "I thought I was the only one that noticed." 

"It'll be alright, though, Remus." Peter insisted. "Sirius and James have each other, but you and I have each other's backs, don't we?"

Peter was back to his slightly worried state, of desperately wanting someone to call a best friend so that he didn't feel so alone, and Remus smiled. He enjoyed Peter's company a lot. 

"Of course, we do," Remus said. "Forever." 

Peter grinned. "Forever." He seemed to relax a little. "I'll let you get back to sleep now." He stood and made to open the curtains again. 

"Pete?" Remus said. Peter turned to look at him. "If you ever can't sleep, you know where to find me." 

~

September 15th 1972 - The Great Hall 

Remus was trying his hardest not to snap at Sirius as he glowered throughout dinner. 

"I can't believe Snape." He muttered for the fourth time. 

"Sirius, all he did was offer to help Regulus find a classroom," James said tiredly. 

" _I'm_ his brother, _I_ can help him," Sirius replied. 

"He was ahead of us, you couldn't have gotten to him in time to help," James said. "Besides, you should be grateful that Snape is doing something good rather than being an arse."

" _Grateful_?!" Sirius exclaimed. 

"Here we go," Remus muttered. 

"What should I be grateful for, James?" Sirius asked angrily. "Go on! Tell me!" 

"Will somebody shut him up?" A sixth year snapped from a few seats away. "Some of us want to eat dinner, not listen to a bitch fest." 

"Sod off." Sirius snapped back. 

"Right, that's it," James said. "Sirius, come on, let's go." 

"What do you mean, 'come on'. I'm having my dinner." Sirius said. 

"No, you're not, you're ruining everyone's night," James said. 

"I'm doing no such thing!" 

"You are, and you've been doing it for the last two weeks," James said. "Get up, we're going back to the dorm and we're not leaving until you're ready to stop being such a petulant little child!"

"And how exactly are we going to get back to the dorm if I want to sit here and carry on eating?" Sirius asked smugly. 

"I'll drag you up there myself. And I'm sure Remus and Peter wouldn't mind giving me a hand, either."

"I'd like to see you try." Sirius scoffed. 

"Lads?" James addressed Remus with a raised eyebrow. "Give us a hand?" 

Remus and Peter looking forlornly at their half-finished food and stood reluctantly. They were all sat along the same bench. Together, they hauled Sirius out of his seat.

He flailed and fought as the three other Marauders dragged him out of the Hall, intending to take him as close to the dormitory as quickly as they could before Sirius could regain his footing and fend them all off.

As they reached the moving staircases, a voice from behind them called out. 

"What on earth do you three think you're doing?!" 

"Bugger off, Cissa!" Sirius groaned as the Marauders turned to face the Black sister. "This has nothing to do with you."

"How _dare_ you three embarrass my cousin by dragging him out of the Great Hall like he's nothing more than a common muck." Narcissa spat. "You three should count yourself lucky if I decide not to send a letter to my aunt and uncle." 

"Petty threats won't get you anywhere, Narcissa." James scoffed. "We're not scared of Walburga and Orion Black. Or _any_ Black for that matter. Including you." 

"You won't be saying that when you have Sirius' parents here at the castle," Narcissa said haughtily. "You'll be begging them not to have you expelled." 

"We won't get expelled," Peter said. "We're only trying to get Sirius to stop being horrid to everyone. He's been a pain for the last fortnight." 

"Not that it's any of your business, of course," James added. 

"He's _my_ cousin." Narcissa countered. "Family matters more than temporary little friendships. Haven't you ever heard of the phrase 'blood is thicker than water'?" 

"Stay out of our business," Remus said. "You're not Bellatrix, no matter how hard you try to model after her. At least _she_ had some bite to her. Stay away from us. And that means Sirius, too. I don't care if he's your cousin, he doesn't belong to you. He's his own person." 

Narcissa's jaw visibly clenched. In the blink of an eye, she had her wand drawn and the words, ' _Genu contrarium,_ ' were leaving her mouth. 

Before Remus could think, he elbowed past his friends and put himself in front of them, wand also in hand, and he heard himself respond, ' _Salvio hexia'._

There was a bright flash and Remus covered his eyes as the world stopped. Everything was blank and silent for a little while. For how long, Remus didn't know. 

The next thing he remembered was sitting on the floor, his friends crouched in front of him shaking him with worried expressions. 

" _Remus_! Can you hear us?" James was mouthing. There was a ringing in Remus' ears and it took a few seconds for his hearing to return to him. While he slowly adjusted to the world returning to normal, he nodded and took a deep breath. 

"What happened?" He asked eventually. 

"Mate ... you cast a hex deflection spell," James told him.

"You kind of just ... threw yourself in front of us and yelled it," Peter added. 

"Bright flash of light, next thing we know, Narcissa is running off, probably to tell the teachers, and you've ragdolled on the floor." Sirius finished. "It was wicked." 

Remus huffed out a laugh. "I - did it work?" 

"Yeah," James said. "I don't even know what her spell was-"

"Knee reversal hex." Sirius interrupted. 

"How do you know that?" Peter asked. 

Sirius shrugged. "Had tutors for most of my life, remember? They taught me and Regulus different languages as well as just magic. Regulus and I both know French and Latin. The incantation, 'genu contrarium', just means, 'opposite knee' in Latin." 

"Boys!" Remus, Peter, Sirius and James looked up to see McGonnagall standing less than twenty feet away, Narcissa stood close by with a sly smile quirking her lips. "Care to explain why Miss Black has come to me to tell me that four of my second years have just tried to hex her?" 

"Professor-" Remus started. 

"My office, now," McGonnagall commanded.

Remus groaned inwardly. A letter would definitely find itself at his parents' doorstep after this. 

His parents would most certainly _not_ like this. 


End file.
